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mind numbing
dreams & reality. i can't seem to slot myself into this world.
& really, thats all i have to say these past few days -
darling, daddy told you not to talk to strangers
each day i feel a little stranger. & i don't think this is a bad thing. i don't want to be mentally ill & i don't want to be in treatment. yet, i feel so detached from the world & everybody, but i don't think this is a bad thing.
i don't feel sad, but there is a feeling i cannot shake.
what do you think of me? really -
a quick fix culture destroys me
'you can buy anything, but happiness'
this thought makes me sick, because every two weeks i pay out just over £7 & get medication that makes me happy.
it is absolutely disgusting
i could be your plaything, dancing in my dreams, with truth & lies wrapped round me like ligatures, star in your eye, vacant smiles, am i coming back again? -
fae in open spaces
the streets are swarming with men like ants staring at bikes. today is meant to be when the jack is released to make summer come, & where is the sun? it rains on our heads & my wings flap loudly against me.
( The boogies mark me, good luck they call as the drumming fills the air ) -
translucent & transparent
i told you i was a whisper of a ghost on the wind of the lovers
I hold my breath and check the time
One minute no collapse
If you only knew what I would do for you
One thirty breathing lapse
( an artistic temperament to photograph my lucid moments ) -
i could lead you in
today i am dynamite on a short fusei suppose a re-cap of my life, i need to get some things out without so many similes & metaphors so it might make sense even to me. but thats rare & i know i fall back into old habits easily. which i suppose is the jist of this ( Read more... ) -
whispers in crowded rooms
london sticks in my throat. i choke on loneliness & insignificance. surrounded by people, i feel in a desert. the wind rolls gently & catches me in the chest. tumbleweed could roll by. i wouldn't be surprised.
love, love, love, it whispers on the tongues of the hopeful romantics like dreams of translucent oceans ( Read more... ) -
(crazycrazy) neurosis
i saw the everwonderful Dr. Davis today (the doctor that admitted me).
"I can't work out if you're mentally ill or just bizarre"
good news, no?
hastings smells of sea & makes me smile
( Read more... ) -
eggtimers on pedastals
i can't remember the last time. i say this, i really can't. i look at my story before me, each memory blends into each other. the scars create a narrative, not single situations, my fate reads like brail for the blind. i've forgotten what iron smells like ( Read more... )
