I haven't updated in quite a while, but tonight seemed like a good time to do one. it is 5:30 in the morning, I am sitting outside Schamuan's place smoking a cigarette. It was colder yesterday. Things are good, I want them to get better, I will work on that this year. Also, I guess my New Years resolution is to not gain all that damn weight back. ( Read more... )

sorry about all the recent bitching. i really do have a wonderful life, and i am surrounded by wonderful people. things are good

i am sick. i have been for a little over a week now. FUCK THAT! i am finding it hard to sleep. i am finding it just as hard to wake up.  i am in a rut. my body aches from tossing and turning all night. for the past two weeks, no matter what time i have gone to "bed" i have been awake when the sun came up. i need to figure this shit out. someone ( Read more... )

i wish i were alive

in the dreams that i've designed

where worry is not a word

that ever comes to mind

we take the train downtown

your hands are cold

your eyes are big

lets stand at the fountain

when it gets late

i'll turn to you and say

come rest your head

let it rise and fall

with the air in my chest

don't let go of my hand

i just wrote a long obnoxious entry, complaining about my love life shit, and then i told myself, "dont be an asshole, you are so fucking shallow, anyone that reads this is just going to think you are an asshole." so then i wrote this entry. and i am having second thoughts about this one as well.

dustin and I, are taking pictures today. we are playing at fountain square Wed. the 18th, so they are advertising the event, and a horrible ridiculous picture of us will be up on the big screen in downtown, keep an eye out for it.

d o

s o m e t h i n g

d i f f e r e n t

I don't know why i make a post occasionally. I really dont think that ANYONE reads this, I dont think anyone has in maybe 3 or 4 years. I guess I use this as a literal journal. so anyway, I really, really want to get out of this fucking slump. Sometimes I fear that I will just never get my shit together, and even after college, when I have my job, ( Read more... )

damnit, jordan.
damnit.

i am not a hypochondriac, but i googled clinical depression to look at all of the signs, i exhibit every single fucking one of them. i am making an appointment to go see a doctor about all of this nonsense. i hate it. i can no longer have fun doing things i used to love doing. i just sit around and wallow in my own, stupid fucking misery. its not ( Read more... )