Original fiction: Outlands. Sons of the Path arc, part 6

[maldoror_gw]

I managed to squeeze this out, go me. Being on holiday undoubtedly helped. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews and typo-spotting!

Link to all chapters

Comments

[harlyn]

Another vote for instant gratification! Honestly, even if it leaves off at another cliff-jumper, sooner is always better :-)
This was a nice conclusion to the arc-- I was giggling outloud through most of Leyam's conversation with Ryou at the end. And poor Darius, sitting still for a whole hour; that must have been very difficult for him! I also liked the background on how Haaskoning ended up in the Outlands, and the idea of him politically being stuck in the 80s.

Possible typos:
"True, I could have given you much more in the way of knowledge. But then again, what power I would have been handing them if you'd joined them."
the what power I would have been handing them only works if it's a rhetorical question (which it could be)

"I’m going to consider I have some latitude over what I can and cannot defend with my magian abilities"
maybe "I'm going to assume that I have some latitude..."?

[maldoror_gw]

Aye aye, Cap'n, I'll try to get them out as soon as I'm happy with them :) And also have an idea of where that final chapter is going, so I don't accidentally write myself into a corner. I hate that...

I really liked the idea of Haaskoning being a Cold War refugee, and the differnece in mentality that would mean between his world view and Ryou's.

That 'what power' is indeed a rhetorical question. Maybe it could be formulated better...*ponders*

Assume may work better than 'consider' there, I htink consider is a Frenchism....*Ponders some more and fixes* Thanks!

[toshirodragon]

"Come to our side----- We have TEA!"

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[maldoror_gw]

Lol! But then again, if I ever end up as tea-deprived as Ryou, I'D probably join some shadowy religious organisation that promised me my brew + basic knowledge of water safety as a bonus (I'm easy that way)

[theos99]

:) i really like leyman as a character. i feel that if i actually knew him in real life i would stay far, far away from him and look on from a distance, though. really liked how you balanced out ryou's calm with his human tendency to get nervous, etc.

for the question: perhaps stagger it a bit? (like post every 1 1/2 weeks or something?) whatever's fine :) i'm going to keep reading this series no matter what :) :)

[maldoror_gw]

'in real life i would stay far, far away from him'
That's probably a good instinct to have. Leyam is funny and all sorts of dangerous and scary at the same time. Glad you like the series :) I have a feeling it's going to be 1 and a half months between chapters rather than weeks - some of these are long chapters, and I have little time and inspiration these days. But hopefully I will get them out sooner or later! Thanks for the support :)

[kysk]

Lots of info in this chapter, and it was nice that you lightened it up a bit in the end with Ryou talking to Leyam and concluding what he would do.

Post the chapters when they are done, that way it will feel like more. I am like a dog that way, I count the number of times I get something rather then how much ;)

[maldoror_gw]

Yeah, I had to break up this chapter a bit and liven up the information given. I'm glad it came across as fairly lively! Leyam does seem to light up the scene wherever he goes...

[kysk]

"Leyam does seem to light up the scene wherever he goes..."

Absolutely. As long as you are not the one talking to him...

[anonymous]

Mmmm, this is definitely a chapter to be chewed over, intellect-wise. Loved it! As for chapters, my preferences would be to see the first chapters as soon as they're done. I'm greedy that way! Plus I don't mind the wait for the rest. ♥

[maldoror_gw]

Glad you loved it :) It's certainly got a lot of information, but with dialogue and various tidbits added, I'm glad it was readable as well as chewy.