V. - I'll end up winning and I won't know why.

[maleficentia]

Comments

[hatesbears]

Coffee.

[maleficentia]

Are you volunteering?

[hatesbears]

To have coffe obtained for me? Fuck yes. To do your bitch work? Fuck no.

Rose.

[maleficentia]

Yes, well, I've been up all night critiquing fourth-rate sex narratives disguised as "fiction" by people that have clearly never done the deed in their lives.

In other words, if you pick up scones, I'll make you coffee.

[maleficentia]

Is that so? You sound as though you speak from experience.

[hatesbears]

Yadda fucking yadda you're not a TA bitch, protect your masculine pride, blah fucking blah; crux of the fucking matter: what would it take for you to get me coffee on a regular basis?

[strucktwelve]

Kicking people in the face always works for me. You must be doing it wrong.

[maleficentia]

I was referring to the would-be houseguest you sent me, you idiot.

[strucktwelve]

Oh, that. I thought you might appreciate the sentiment?

[maleficentia]

Which was? Get laid and all your problems will be solved? Christ.

Asher.

[invisibyron]

...don't bring Rose?

Hale

[maleficentia]

I'm surprised by the sudden percentage of the Tale community that thinks I have any control whatsoever over Rose Bloom.

I certainly won't bring her. She may be there nonetheless.

Asher.

[invisibyron]

Thank you. You see, the last time we threw a party, a friend of ours brought The Emperor from our Tale, and he punched Watts in the face. So despite your... apparent rapport with her, I'm hoping you'll agree that a violent, homophobic young woman who can't for even a moment abide the idea that something in the universe is centered on someone other than her, would be a poor fit for our little shindig.

And if we excluded her from the invitation, she would find out, and then she would come.

Hale.

[maleficentia]

The suggestive ellipsis and gentle propriety are entirely unnecessary, Byron. I haven't the slightest rapport with the girl, save for a sort of amused respect for her lack of tact and apparent allergy to kindness. Don't you ever feel like you're choking on the That, and she's rather counter-intuitively well-read.

I really don't make a habit of bringing guests to anything.

As you say, it's the choice she'd want. Given that, I somehow doubt she'd enjoy spending the evening with us Joyce aficionados.

[scheherazading]

Creative Writing Idol? Because workshops alone aren't terrifying enough!

[maleficentia]

Lyon, stop hiding under the covers.

[scheherazading]

I've been busy.

[maleficentia]

Art is a privilege you must be willing to pay for it. Clearly, you are not.