Using a sperm bank in the first place is a far bigger issue than negiah. i guess whichever posek gave them the heter to do that should be consulted about all the issues. if they didnt use a posek, then why would they have a shaila about something a lot more minor than having a baby with someone youre not married to? It's a huge shailah.
The thing is though that the negiah issue is not even shyich because a couple who is so frum that this would be an issue, wouldnt use donor sperm in the first place. you can post that if you want.
As usual I completely agree with Mindy: didn't realize any Orthodox Jews use sperm donors anymore. Almost all men can have immature sperm extracted via TESE. Or they can adopt. But no way I'mVgoing to post on that thread!
LOL, I understand not going over there and commenting. Thanks for the updated information.
Actually, my understanding is that a non-jewish sperm donor may be permitted in certain situations but one needs proof that the donor cannot possibly be a Jew. But that knowledge is what I learned more than 5 years ago and there have been many advances since then.
I wouldn't touch that community with a 10 foot pole.
The Lubav Rebbe has gone on record as saying that he finds adoption "problematic" and that it should be avoided when at all possible. I'm assuming that is is also true for other chassidic sects.
Rav Moshe Feinstein has ruled more leniently.
My daughter is adopted, and I tend to go with the yeshivish poskim who allow moderate contact.
I like the community because for a change it is a place that I'm NOT a moderator and I'm not well known so I have a bit more leeway in what I say. Plus they are entertaining and when they get too offensive I just stop reading the thread.
I'm with the more lenient opinions also. I find the reasoning behind not touching an adopted or step-child a bit absurd but that may be because I know biological parents are more likely to abuse their children then adopted parents are.
Even in the chasidishe world there are poskim who say that a child who is adopted as a baby has the din of your own child (youre so attached to them you wouldn thave a 'yetzer horah' to do anyuthing with them) and there has been at least one case that I know of where a stepfather had a mitzvah tantz with his daughter (holding hands), they were closer than a father/daughter could ever be, he had married her mother when she was a baby.
You can check out this link for a fairly comprehensive overview of yichud, negiah and adoption. Basically Rav Feinstein and Rav Waldenberg were lenient regarding this for children adopted at an early age. I understand that the Lubabavitch Rebbe disagreed
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Thanks for the great link and your comments. It is good to see you around.
Very few teenage boys are into hugs & kisses with their parents. It is important to know that option exists. I cannot imagine raising kids and never touching them except in times of illness or emergencies.
Yeah, I've seen stuff that says that biological siblings should not touch. I've also seen stuff that says once a woman is married she should no longer sing in front of her brothers (over age 13 I think), let them see her hair, touch them, or be in yichud with them. But I have no idea how many people follow those rulings.
Among the MO I have noticed much more touching between kids and their parents, at an older age, then I was used to in my secular world. I have not spent enough time in haredi communities to have picked up on any trends.
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The OP then became fascinated by various issues related to such a situation.
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Actually, my understanding is that a non-jewish sperm donor may be permitted in certain situations but one needs proof that the donor cannot possibly be a Jew. But that knowledge is what I learned more than 5 years ago and there have been many advances since then.
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The Lubav Rebbe has gone on record as saying that he finds adoption "problematic" and that it should be avoided when at all possible. I'm assuming that is is also true for other chassidic sects.
Rav Moshe Feinstein has ruled more leniently.
My daughter is adopted, and I tend to go with the yeshivish poskim who allow moderate contact.
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I'm with the more lenient opinions also. I find the reasoning behind not touching an adopted or step-child a bit absurd but that may be because I know biological parents are more likely to abuse their children then adopted parents are.
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Hope all is well with you. I don't think I ever ended up being added to your email list or wherever it is that you post nowadays.
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Very few teenage boys are into hugs & kisses with their parents. It is important to know that option exists. I cannot imagine raising kids and never touching them except in times of illness or emergencies.
Yeah, I've seen stuff that says that biological siblings should not touch. I've also seen stuff that says once a woman is married she should no longer sing in front of her brothers (over age 13 I think), let them see her hair, touch them, or be in yichud with them. But I have no idea how many people follow those rulings.
Among the MO I have noticed much more touching between kids and their parents, at an older age, then I was used to in my secular world. I have not spent enough time in haredi communities to have picked up on any trends.
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