New year, new journal [moleskin: soft, light, for all occasions ( Read more... )

last night I took a walk at around eleven. I found a little spot, the start of a road that doesn't actually lead anywhere, to sit down, and then lay down, and think. the wind in the trees and grass is incredibly loud when there are no other sounds. I stared at the stars and smelled the dead animal smell of the pavement and thought about lighting ( Read more... )

I sit down to write and the blank page mocks me. My mind, so active all the time, turning the events of my boring days into a narrative that my inner voice reads to me, is quiet. I force a few words onto the page, then delete them in disgust. again. and again.

Just back from seeing Thank You For Smoking with Alex Lambert, an absolute doll whom I am completely in love with, nonsexually. Also, completely in love with the movie. Tres bien. Alex and I made plans to someday travel in France together, and study together in England. She teased me about my fixation on having a boy with a British accent love me. ( Read more... )

...in the midst of a massive term paper that only seems to get harder the more i work on it. also in the midst of a serious attempt to rediscover myself and get back to who i was before i came here. i'm having something of an identity crisis. so yeah, i'm pretty busy. plus i'm getting an awful head cold. the first time i've been sick in a long time ( Read more... )

Things that i buy and things that i think ( Read more... )

(to you ( Read more... )

it's raining. i love it ( Read more... )

...I lie in bed at night with music lying behind me. It fills my ears and head and eases the tension in my neck. Whispered words become a hand that smoothes down my spine and slides around to cup my stomach, then it fades into me and drifts up to hold my heart in a grip that’s just slightly too tight to be comfortable. Songs to go to sleep to ( Read more... )

i have a statue of an owl on my desk that stares at me with empty eye sockets. he comes apart into two pieces that fit together along a jagged line. the inside of him is rusted over. my mother thinks it's creepy. my dad likes that i've adopted it and keep it on display because it was his mother's. i like to think that i am like she used to be ( Read more... )