I have never felt so helpless when it comes to my body as I did in labor with K. and afterwards so angry like a light switch turned on right away, I KNEW something was wrong, but I was shushed by "baby blues" and being told I should be grateful she was healthy.
It makes so mad to even write.
And all this? The dr. has no idea she impacted my life so negatively, I know where she works, she moved to the OB I was seeing with Addison's birth and I freely admitted to the OB and MWs there why I did not feel comfortable coming there anymore even after they assured me I wouldn't see her ever (she's just in the office when they aren't, another practice) but it was so bad that my BP was outrageous the day I saw her on the wall I almost turned around and left.
I wish I knew then what I know now. Megan's labor/birth wasn't what I wanted. Who knows what could have been different. Maybe my cervix wouldn't have been damaged, Patrick would be here. But then Abby and Lily wouldn't be here. A whole other set of kids. Life would be different!
I appreciated you telling me to stand up for myself, even when people in my journal were questioning why I'd even question a doctor or a midwife. It amazes me how people are just so willing to go along with anything they are told, but then it gets scary when you are pregnant and don't know what to do.
It's been harder being in the USA where I have to constantly ask "Is this necessary or is this just fear of being sued", and so far it seems like every bump has been fear of litigation.
Sorry to make this about me, but it was good to read this as a reminder to stand up for myself in my upcoming birth.
I had something to say but can't put word to it. huhr. Stupid birth. In a way it's nice to know I'm not completely psycho when it comes to Harvey's birthday and freaking out. :/
Comments 32
(The comment has been removed)
It makes so mad to even write.
And all this? The dr. has no idea she impacted my life so negatively, I know where she works, she moved to the OB I was seeing with Addison's birth and I freely admitted to the OB and MWs there why I did not feel comfortable coming there anymore even after they assured me I wouldn't see her ever (she's just in the office when they aren't, another practice) but it was so bad that my BP was outrageous the day I saw her on the wall I almost turned around and left.
Reply
Reply
<3 you.
If K's birth was different I'm not sure I'd have the other 2 so it is what it is<3
Reply
Reply
Reply
It's been harder being in the USA where I have to constantly ask "Is this necessary or is this just fear of being sued", and so far it seems like every bump has been fear of litigation.
Sorry to make this about me, but it was good to read this as a reminder to stand up for myself in my upcoming birth.
Reply
Make it about yourself all you'd like! You are the reason I don't keep it inside, you and all the other first time moms.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment