Nothing is ever good enough. Whatever I do there is something that is wrong with it. I'll never be able to please him. Why can't I just give up and stop trying and stop caring. Why is his approval and acceptance so desperately needed and pursued...

I really like that it is starting to feel like fall. I burned a pumpkin pie candle yesterday and made me feel all happy. Things have been really good. Me and Travis have had an amazing couple of days. I really hope we stay this way.

I feel like getting all pretty and going somewhere nice...

I've been noticing that I always look for flaws. Reading anything, listening to anything/anyone, or looking at anything/anyone. Always judging. Always looking for ways to improve things. Never taking the time to just admire the good and leave it at that. I think I'm gonna work on that. Like an early new years resolution.

I want to do something but i'm tired.

I want to sleep but i'm not tired enough.

What a predicament.

I miss having my own place. Even if it was a shitty studio without cable or internet or sometimes even food, I miss it a lot. I miss being able to do WHATEVER I wanted. If I didn't want to wash a pot or pan right away I didn't have to. If I wanted to walk around in my underwear or even naked, I could. If I didnt keep the apartment spotless it was ( Read more... )

Looking through everyones myspace profiles makes me feel so boring and blah. Which is something I hate in people

The only time I feel pretty is when i'm under the influence of alcohol or drugs

It's inevitable I fuck up every good thing that comes my way

I want new clothes