It's funny to be so drunk and to read my drunk ravings from the last year or so. At one vantage point it sounds insane but from another it sounds like I have a good outlook on things. It's kind of funny when I'm drunk, I can sort of let the real me out in the fact of how I write, more poetic and intelligent words. Makes me hate the fact that I've ( Read more... )

Hey. I'm at a point where I just want to talk to someone. I can talk to my mom, I know she'll listen. But thats not really what I want. I don't even want to really talk about my problems or anything. I just want to talk to someone who's really my friend or a decent person. Just to bullshit about whatever. Just to feel like there's decent people out ( Read more... )

This is a new low for me. I've got a black eye and my face and hands are bloody. Its becoming harder and harder to cover up shit to my friends and family. Lies just aren't going to cut it anymore, Scars on my body are easy to cover up but this is going to fucking suck tommorrow morning. It's gonna be hell covering this up at work tomorrow. I'll ( Read more... )

Anyway, an update to my last entry. I ended up not quitting my job. I got a raise so I now just work on weekends. I started off good trying to train for what i wanted to do, but then I got off course. Started wasting my time on inefectual objectives. This has caused the problem of still having to have contact with the same people. My ideal ( Read more... )

Well after years and years of bitching how I wanted a normal life, I have succeeded in acquiring one. Even without realizing it at first. I got a job, a car, I went to school, I made lots of friends that I have lots in common with, that I hang out with. I became more outgoing and personable. But then I realized, that kind of life wasn't all it was ( Read more... )

You know... after all these years. things seem to bee getting darker and darker. People seem to getting darker and darker. Since I turned 18 I don't think I've met anyone that wasn't deep down a violent or cruel person. It's horrible. It's getting harder and harder to deal with life and people. Trying to look for a light to find my way out of the ( Read more... )

I can barely read. I am drunk. LJ Warrior is an asshole. I'm glad I have good friends. I need to drinkmore water now Have a good night. laters.

Fuck following the rules. In essence I said fuck off, if you really need me let me know and you can use me for whatever shit you want. This will probably turn out bad. but i dont give a shit. I'm tired of having to limit my life and lifestyle because i'm waiting for their bullshit. I want to have a normal life. for a while at least.Fuck their plans ( Read more... )

So i got my direction back on what route to take. I usually do when i bitch enough. Usually when i break the rules and fuck up enough i get screwed over though, like i did this weekend. But after suffering enough i agreed to go back to following the rules and now i'm all good again. Now i just have to make sure i stick to them ( Read more... )

Long time no post, I can't believe its been two months since my last post. Not too much new. Been getting out of the house alot and hanging out with friends, making some new friends. I guess i'm still not happy though. I mean while i'm hanging out with people i'm all good and happy. But i guess when i come home and I'm alone I realize i'm not happy ( Read more... )