i had a really rough weekend. GK's husband died. she was a babysitter of mine when i was little. a good family friend. it was at her house that my little brother died. her daughter, K, was on the phone with the 911 operator when he died ( Read more... )

been sleeping with CP semi-regularly since the hotel weekend. i feel like a whore. like i don't own my body. it's not about me; it's about her. i've fucked her about 8 times now. twice tonight. she's a rabbit. i hate it. she's using me. lying to me. lying to people about me. i'm not attracted to her at all. have no desire to pursue a ( Read more... )

i am a whore.
i have lost ten pounds in a week.
i am very down.
i have an appointment with ken at 1pm.
i have a paper due tomorrow i haven't even thought about.
i'm not sure if i've ever been really love
by a hand that's touched me.
(matchbox twenty)
truly yours,
xX. the girl.

i haven't eaten in three days. it feels good to have my stomach empty. i remember now why i used to fast in high school so often. i should do this more often. my fasting now combined with the fact that i've been purging basically every meal i've eaten in weeks prompted paul to say that he thinks i have ed-nos. i do NOT have an eating disorder ( Read more... )

Small, simple, safe price ( Read more... )

left ______ ____ on friday evening to return to my hometown. stayed with Mah Sistah on friday night, but then on saturday, E asked me about 8 or 9 times when i was leaving because he wanted "alone time" with Mah Sistah. basically, he wanted to fuck & was pissed because they hadn't been able to all week. so i had to stay at my parents house. ( Read more... )

i am presently located in the world's only _______ ____. well, technically, i'm in _________ at a junior college waiting for the paul to get done with class ( Read more... )

grampa nick died this weekend. he wasn't really my grampa, but he was the closest thing i had to one, & one of the two decent people on my dad's side of the family. i'm not sure even now how exactly i'm related to him, & Mah Sistah says that because of that, i can't possibly be effected by it. but i am. because it's sad. he's was a wise old ( Read more... )

i bought new sharps today because i've been down for days & days. & i have sharps, but they aren't as good... they weren't doing their job ( Read more... )

self-injury awareness day.
i'm not wearing a ribbon. because i don't have one.
or anything orange for that matter.

truly yours,
xX. the girl.