So there I found myself, signing into the psychiatric ward - a thing I was convinced could only serve to amplify the depression. I was fitted with my straight-jacket which I was pleasantly surprised to find was a stunning replica of Xena's attire and fit quite snugly. The staff had planned ahead and outfitted mine with a strap which, when ( Read more... )

From the hood of a car i watched the clouds avalanche across the sky. A sudden breeze set the branches of trees to chattering like a thousand polygraphs, their nimbic styli scratching out every one of my lies across the heavens.

i'm glad i didn't go back to sleep that night

All in all, a better new year's than expected.

I was drifting off to sleep the other night and on the cusp of unconsciousness I heard the screech of truck brakes on 3rd street. I could have sworn it was whalesong and I had the best dreams about whales. Whales playing in the ocean. Whales cruising past my window. Squirrely whales.

So i'm not one to put out updates regularly but today was a momentous occasion deserving of one. By some stroke of luck - and very detailed instructions - i made 4 perfect hard-boiled eggs. The first one seems to have a questionably raw part but as soon as my stomach settles i'll try another which is sure to be THE PERFECT HARD-BOILED EGG ( Read more... )

I get the feeling that altered states of conciousness tend to undermine my credibility. My motor skills may be impaired but my emotions are not. Maybe i come across strong. Maybe i look unfocused. But i love you ali, and perhaps for tonight this was the best way to say it. This summer will not doubt be different, but we haven't had time to ( Read more... )

Strange to think it was just this morning I buried my cat.  It feels like it was a few days ago or maybe it shouldn't happen for a few but it was fifteen and one-half hours ago that the first shovel of dirt scattered across the roof of his printer-paper box.  I like to think that electronics boxes are something of a step up from shoeboxes.  I ( Read more... )

it's the day you understand all the thoughts running through a cancer patient's mind. having a problem with no cure, absolutely helpless. outside everything is normal while inside you're slowly tearing yourself apart. you can treat it but it's a hopeless battle and its destruction is concomitant with your own. and in the end regardless of how ( Read more... )

thanks a lot emo kids. thanks a fucking lot for existing. you assholes ruined livejournal. now if i say "i've got that sick burning fire in my heart that only alcohol can come close to putting out" i'm fucking one of you. fuck. fuck fuck fuck. friday, 2:15pm...classes end, therapy begins.

fuck

nothing makes me feel sick and empty like bloomington. there's no other place i'd rather be though.

Books: $656.15
Food: 1,080.00
Classes: $3,044.40
Butt-puckering fear of failure: priceless

fall semester, 2005