nothing new except im 21 and i couldn't buy beer at the cubs game because my id still had that red strip on it. I could drink it... but i couldn't buy it. how stupid. plus we lost. fuckin cubs.

it's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus...  all year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched t.v...  but then the winter came and the grasshopper died and the octopus ate all his acorns and he also got a race car.  is any of this getting through to you???

today this fuckin lady calls me at nine in the morning so im lookin around all over for my phone and as soon as i find it my voicemail picks up.  so I call her back and she tells me that my voicemail just caused me a job interview and hung up on me.  I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!!  It isn't even offensive.  this fucking bitch won't give me a job interview ( Read more... )

i find the most erotic part of a woman is...... the boobies