The Real LJ Idol * 3 Strikes * Week 5: Kuchisabishii

Apr 08, 2022 22:58

A yearning ache pulled at her day and night ( Read more... )

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Comments 14

drippedonpaper April 10 2022, 01:16:59 UTC
Wow, this is very intriguing. I can't say I understand all of it, but that happens to me with poetry. The imagery is just lovely. I like the theme about wanting to try everything, every adventure.

You speak truth: "How small we are and how short our life is."

Great job!

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marlawentmad April 28 2022, 11:51:56 UTC

I appreciate the kind words. I may have been more vague than typical since I wrote this deep in the throes of a second round with Covid.

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engarian April 10 2022, 18:06:31 UTC
This provided an interesting image. I'm a bit divided on it - it fits the prompt beautifully, but as with much poetry, it has levels of obscurity. Nonetheless, well done.

- Erulisse (one L)

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marlawentmad April 28 2022, 11:53:11 UTC

I adore poetry for it's ability to be transformed by the reader. I'll admit this might read more difficult than others I've written since I was under the weather when I crafted it.

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roina_arwen April 11 2022, 18:09:46 UTC
Very creative!

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viagra April 15 2022, 16:27:16 UTC
Oh, man - you know I'm a big fan of yours so I'm sure it gets old hearing me sing your praises, but I really like where you went the prompt this time. The first five stanzas really felt very dream-like to me, and that final stanza continues that feeling but is just a little more concrete. It feels like when you are dreaming about a fight with your significant other, and wake up next to them and are still angry, that half-dreaming state. Her mind is filled with images of teeth ripping things apart, she wants to know what that's like... will she follow through or not, I find myself wondering. It's all just a little unsettling and I really enjoy that.

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marlawentmad April 28 2022, 11:54:19 UTC

I will never get tired of your generous and enthusiastic feedback! I appreciate it more than you know. I love your interpretation on this one.

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beautyofgrey April 17 2022, 23:05:29 UTC
I do adore the imagery of this, the dream-like quality, and the way you capture her curious desires.

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