I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I am so unhappy. I think I just wish Stephen would talk to me more. Or that my friends would talk to me more. Or something. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW UGHHH WHY AM I SO CRAZY?! Why can't I just understand myself. if I can't understand myself, then how the fuck am I going to understand anything else? How can I ( Read more... )

I'm no closer to solving all of my problems. I feel tired today. I think I need a rest...just a little nap. Then I'm gonna work on my to do list.

Today, Stephen, Lucius, Harley and I went to Stephen's parents house in NH for a cookout. We went swimming and stuff. I dove over a chair, which I didn't know was possible. haha. Oh, btw to clarify, the last entry was not written today it was written about a week ago but i never published it, the draft was saved ( Read more... )

I am incredibly angry. All the time. For no reason ( Read more... )

Okay so now it's the next day. Amie came over yesterday and saved my life by taking me for a walk through sheepfold ( Read more... )

I can't get out of bed. The most I can do is go on my computer and sit in bed, looking at plastic surgery before and after photos, wishing to be perfect. i read things on how to be healthy and how to get motivated and how to schedule my time. Meanwhile, my house is a mess, I'm eating pizza, my son is left to play by himself, and I'm laying in bed ( Read more... )

As usual, it's been a long time since my last journal entry. I haven't been writing in any of my actual journals either. I got my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday (It's now Sunday). Today is the first day of 2012. I'm on painkillers in my bed downloading classical music to listen to on the train ride into Boston tomorrow to see Tatro. I bought a bunch ( Read more... )

I'm having a hard time. I'm hAVING A HARD TIME. im always alone. okay no im really not. i just never touch base with my own mind in a private way anymore. im never alone with my own thoughts. im always looking at shit, taking in information. reblogging quotes ( Read more... )

I love Stephen James Cushman ( Read more... )

stephen and i are trying to be just friends. i just want to be alone and focus on school. i emailed him a link to ninja turle turtle noses lollll. i hope he finds it funny.