My girlfriend of the last 2 1/2 years and I broke up 5 weeks ago. I hurt her terribly... I lied, mostly through omission. I cheated on her as well... even though we were in an open relationship, I ended up having sex with the one person I was forbidden to do so with. I never wanted it to have to come to this, and I really wish now that I would have ( Read more... )

I went bowling tonight. I'm not that good, but in our first game, I got 4 strikes in a row! I scored 149; that's the best one I've ever had. It was a lot of fun, and I hope Jill and I will go back again soon. Yay for bowling!

I was in a fuck of a lot of pain.

Happy Birthday Dylan!
I can't believe he's 10 years old.

It's one of those days today, one where I wish I was dead, not because I want to die, but because I'm just so fucking tired of feeling like this. There are a lot of reasons...most pressing, I'm sure, is the fact that I haven't had my proper dose of Prozac since Saturday. The pharmacy hasn't been able to contact my doctor so that she can authorize ( Read more... )

Happy birthday Sunny...I miss you.

We had to get up bright and early on Monday, cause Andrew's funeral was at 9:30...a very un-Andrew like hour. Kenji, Amy, and I were his only friends there, the rest were family. We sat towards the back of the group. I liked the church alright; it had a pretty blue stained glass window over the altar, and I spent a lot of time staring at it. Before ( Read more... )

I'd never been to a traditional funeral that wasn't for a relative, or for some other person who wasn't a close friend...now I have ( Read more... )

It's so fucking unfair that just as you were getting your life together, it's over. I can't believe it...it was only just last Saturday that we were hanging out together at the Eagle. It felt good, cause it had been so long since we'd been there, and it was just like old times (minus the spectacle that was the drunken Lisa). I didn't get to see you ( Read more... )

I just got up and got showered and all that and now I'm gazing out the window, looking at the trees and hearing all the birds, and I feel good. Today J and I are going into SF. First, we have a four hour slot at Black and Blue...I'm going to (hopefully) get my mandala tattoo finished, and J's gonna get a pheonix. After that, we're going to head ( Read more... )

If/when my ex-wife makes it into recovery, she's gonna have one hell of a fourth step waiting for her.