What you got under your shirt (A cog in the murder-machine) 2/5
Title: What you got under your shirt (A cog in the murder-machine)(2/5)
Author: marlowe78
Rating: R for later-occurring violence
Characters: Jared, Jensen, OCs
Word count: This part ~6.200, ~21.000 the whole story.
Warnings: Violence in later chapters. Crude language. Mentions of *gosh* heterosexual relationships and underage kissing.
Summary: Highschool-AU.
Jared Padalecki is one of the Golden Boys of Hilldale. He has all you need to be sixteen and is a nice guy on top. If there wouldn't be the mystery of his former best-friend Jensen, who transformed into some kind of Grim Reaper, his life would be boring in its' perfection.
Title is taken from "Teenagers", by My Chemical Romance
a/n: This one got a bit longer. Many,many thanks to my little brother (who is kinda not-so-little, with round about 6'3" now). He may (hopefully) never know, but it's him who inspired Jensen's fashion-sense. Ah, you just have to love goth-brothers, right?
Again, thanks to soncnica, who is amazing (and writes damn good stories herself, if I may pimp so)
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Jared was tired beyond tired. But he had a standing deal with his parents: he got to use the Mazda when his mom didn’t need it and in exchange played chauffeur for his sister, who was fourteen-three-quarters and a freshman at Hilldale High. So he drove. Even though he felt like his eyes were filled with sand.
While he was trying to listen to 30 Seconds to Mars and at the same time blocking out the constant chatter from the passenger-seat, he spotted a lonely, black-clad figure on the sidewalk.
Huh. Right. Jensen lived only two streets over from him. He’d kinda forgotten. They’d once shared the schoolbus, sometimes been driven together by one of their parents. He waved and watched, without being stalker-ish, as the boy trudged through the crisp morning, sometimes kicking up leaves with his boots. He wasn’t sure if Jensen didn’t see him or if he ignored him, but he didn’t wave back.
Man, those boots must weight a ton, Jared wondered, and those clasps and buckles…. He contemplated if Jensen stood up hours earlier, just so he could buckle his feet. Who’d do that, just to look like … just to look weird? And what kid nowadays wore a leather-coat? He looked like a vampire, but not the silly, glittering emo-vamps Mel kept cooing over. He looked Underworld-vamp.
Just not half as sexy as Kate Beckinsale.
Still, that was no reason to kill anyone, right? If you dressed like that in a world of blue-jeans and sneakers, you had to be prepared for drawing attention. Didn’t ya?
But then again, wasn’t that what the chatter had said? That nobody listened? So how would he feel if he played the role of the strange kid and still nobody would listen to you, talk to you, care?
“Hey, stupid. How long’re you gonna sit here?”
“Shut up, Megs” he replied automatically, when in truth he hadn’t even noticed that they‘d arrived at school. Great, another day in teenage-hell.
-*-
“Boy, you look like shit.” Jared’s uncle wasn’t anyone who believed in sugarcoating truths. At least not for his nephew. And he was probably right to say that, considering the glance Jared’d had at his own face just minutes ago in the bathroom-mirror. He was exhausted, but at the same time wired like he was before a big game.
School had been horrible, and horribly boring. He had tried to pay more attention to Jensen, but they didn’t have that many classes together. Chemistry was only on Tuesdays, and instead of participating in any sport, Jensen was in Arts and Drama. Not that that was any indication of madness, but it lend a certain emo-factor to the whole Ackles-affair.
What he had glimpsed, the few times he’d been able to, was more of the same he saw in the cafeteria: Jensen was alone. Strolling through the halls alone, sitting alone, listening to his I-Pod alone. He sat in the yard alone, sometimes with, sometimes without a notebook and a pencil. He didn’t speak to others, and nobody spoke to him.
Man, what a sucky life.
“Yeah, thanks a lot, Bill.”
“Ah, you’re welcome, kid.” Bill ruffled his hair, then slapped the back of Jared’s head playfully. “How’s school?”
And there it was. The big opener. The great chance to tell somebody about his misgivings. Not just anybody, but his uncle, who was actually Officer William Thompson, Hilldale PD. Jared took a deep breath.
“Hey, you still friends with that Ackles-kid?” Oh. What?
Jay exhaled. “Huh?”
“Yeah, you know. Jason.”
“Jensen”
“S what I said. Strange boy. Just booked him last week.”
“What?” Jared squeaked “Why?”
“Ah, shop-owner called, said this kid was stealing. Held him until we came. Man, what a dick”
“Jensen?”
“No, kid was cool. Didn’t say a nasty thing, polite and all. Claimed it was a misunderstanding.” Bill took a sip of his beer, scratching his head. “Misunderstanding my ass.”
“William!”
“Sorry, Sherry.”
“Why not? I mean, why wasn’t it a misunderstanding?”
“Well, your buddy didn’t do nothing. Didn’t steal shit. Owner just grabbed him ‘cause of how he looks, all black and moody and all. He nearly told us when we asked him where his proof was. Said ‘Just look at him, off’cers! He’da have done it, ya just see it in his eyes. Evil, he’s all evil!’” Bill chuckled mirthlessly. Jared was impressed, had always been, in his uncle’s ability to imitate people. Bill sighed, sauntered over to his big sister and peered into the pot on the stove, stealing a sliced carrot. Sherry smacked him at his head and he grinned devilishly. “Sherry-Tarry, plum and sherry” he teased and only turned back to the subject Jared was interested in when the siblings were done with their foolery. “I tell ya what, though, Jay. That kid? Never took a dime. But tell that to my partner” disgusted, the man screwed up his nose and burped, which earned him a grin from Jared and a very disapproving look from his sister. “M sorry”, he said, but he wasn’t.
“So, what happened?” Jay interrupted the newly starting round of swats and chuckles. He knew it would be some time if he didn’t.
“Couldn’t keep him, even though Murph tried real hard to get the kid confess. Man, sometimes he’s such a di… dimwit, Murphy. I’m not sure how the kid didn’t start bawling. Murph has a mean streak, sometimes. Owner dropped the charges when we didn’t get evidence, told Jamie - Jason? Jensen! wasn’t welcome there anymore and that was that. Poor kid. So what, he still your friend?”
Jared dropped his eyes. Shook his head, stopped, shrugged. “I guess”
“Yeah. Well. Tell him he might wanna look less like a psycho-killer in the future. Wasn’t the first time he was with us. Gets pulled in every other week, different charges. Stalking, lurking, stealing - all from narrow-headed assholes - sorry, Sher - people who are too insecure to believe in the actual meaning of “land of the free”. I mean, if he wants to look like that dude from The Matrix, who cares?”
“Well, obviously you do, Billy. You just told Jared he should tell him to dress differently.” Jared’s mom spoke up, not once taking her gaze from the onions she was cutting.
“That wasn’t… I didn’t… Look. ‘S just not very healthy for a teenager to be with the police so often, ‘s all I’m sayin’. Kid gets into trouble without getting into trouble, one day he might not get out of it.” He smirked, a little bitterly and changed the subject. “So, what’s for dinner, sissy?”
“Who says you’re invited? You can cook; I know that for a fact.”
“Aww, Sherry. Common… Puhlease? Linda is with her folks and I am soooo hungry. You wouldn’t make me starve, wouldya?”
Jared went and set one more plate on the table. His mom couldn’t withstand her younger brother longer than five minutes. And actually, the whole Padalecki-clan liked having Bill over. Bill was fun. Even though Jared would have liked the day to end without the added confirmation of Jensen’s problems.
-*-
The evening turned out to be as much fun as those visits of his uncle usually were. They talked and laughed and played some silly game that Megan’d gotten for her birthday last month. It was with laughter in his heart that Jared went up to his room, changed into a bath-towel and went to have a shower. Only when he came back and his eyes fell on the computer did he remember the predicament he was in.
Turn Jensen in? Tell Bill? What would happen?
Well, if it turned out that Jensen was serious, he would probably get some shrink to look him over, maybe he even needed to be sent into a mental institute. Locked up, like some criminal. Or maybe not, but he would certainly forever be the crazy kid that wanted to run amuck in the highschool. And given how much the public hated kids that did that, not to mention their families… Jensen’s life would be over. Even if he moved away, there would always stay that stain.
Jensen didn’t deserve that. Jared remembered the times they’d spent together. Laughing so hard that coke ran out of their noses; building a trebuchet in Jensen’s backyard, nearly taking out the neighbor’s cat on the trial run. He remembered Jensen at twelve, close to tears when his dog‘d died, how they’d buried the ugly mutt in the woods behind the little creek that ran close to the border of the Padaleckis’ property. How Jensen’d cried so hard when they dropped the damp earth over his old friend’s fur that he hadn’t been able to stop sobbing and Jay’d been scared he’d suffocate.
He remembered the weeks after, Jensen so sad and lonely that Jared’d gone over and asked Mrs Ackles if she wouldn’t consider buying a new dog - he would even pay one half for it. Mrs Ackles smiled and patted his head, told him that it was Jensen who was refusing to get a new dog. And Jared’d told her to just go and get a puppy, because his friend would certainly not refuse a dog that was already there.
It had taken two more weeks until Jens’d come over to Jared, proudly presenting a mangy three months-old dog with sad eyes and only half a tail, just picked up from the shelter two towns over.
Man, that beast had been one ugly little critter, but Jensen had loved him and the last time Jay had seen it, Izzy - short for Ignatius - had been a proud, well-kept hip-high dog with a shine in his coat and a twinkle in his eyes. He wondered if Izzy was still alive. Should be… five? Yeah, around five years now. He would have heard if Izz had died, wouldn’t he?
Jared tried to recall if he’d seen Jensen and his dog lately, but couldn’t. He’d been so busy with training, his friends and Mel and school. He hadn’t been in the park or the woods for ages. Maybe Izzy was dead and that had tipped Jens over?
No. He couldn’t just let Jensen fall. Not like this, not when the police had him listed as the usual suspect already for half the crimes in this city.
But he couldn’t do nothing either. Couldn’t let Jens run rampant in the school, killing people and shooting stuff. No. Not an option.
Sighing into his pillow, Jared turned in his bed, trying to get his over-tired brain to shut-the-fuck-up already. But it wouldn’t.
In the wee hours of the misty September-night, Jared put together a plan that would take care of both problems; that would make Jensen change his mind about going berserk, that would show him that people cared - or at least one person did.
He’d get his friend back.
-*-
Jared’s Big Plan had to be delayed a bit. He’d planned to walk today, like Jensen, and ‘accidentally’ meet him on their way to school. But after Jared’d waited till a quarter to eight and no Jensen in sight, he had to give up and run. Literally run.
When he arrived, he was still twenty minutes too late and sweating like a pig. He was disheveled and probably smelled like he did after Coach Cocker felt the need to punish them for something. Worst of all, though, was spotting Jensen sitting in his classroom when Jay ran past. Shit. How did he manage that?
After a day spent in anxiety - Jensen never said when he planned to ‘make them listen’, did he? - and stressed with pretending to be interested in what Mark and Kevin had to tell, Jared prepared his exit meticulously. He watched Jensen leave, waited only a few minutes and followed. It didn’t take him long to close in on the other boy.
“Jensen, hey, wait up!” He jogged the last few feet, grabbed his shoulder when Jensen wouldn’t stop. When he did, Jensen spun and nearly snapped his wrist in a move so fast Jared wasn’t sure he even had moved.
“Jesus Christ, Jared! What the fuck? You tryin’ to give me a heart-attack?”
“Ow, fuck. You should talk, man. Nearly broke my arm.” Jared moved his hand a little, hissing when the motion caused a sting. “I called, you didn’t stop.”
“Sorry. “ Jensen pointed to the ear-buds that were hanging on his neck. “Didn’t hear ya.”
“Oh.”
They walked a few steps, until Jensen stopped and turned to him. “Did you want something?”
“Uh. No. I just… uhm, I got car-ban, for…” Now what could he have done? Oh, yes! “For getting drunk. Or better, for getting caught while dunk. So... I thought we could walk together? I mean, if you don’t mind?”
Jensen shrugged. “Why not. What about Farland, can’t he give you a ride?”
“Uh, he needs to go with Mel. Shopping.” What a lame excuse. There was no way Kev would consider shopping with his sister. But Jensen probably didn’t know that.
“Yak. Poor guy.” They trudged along, not saying anything. It did feel a bit awkward. They used to be friends, for god’s sake!
“So… whaddaya lisnin’?”
“Huh?”
“The music? Iron Maiden?”
“Oh”. Jensen actually grinned. “Nope. Dire Straits.” His grin turned into a real laugh when he saw Jared’s face. “I have metal on my playlist, but Knopfler is perfect for walking.”
“Man, you’e certainly full of surprises” Jared smiled as well, but remembered that Jensen’d always had uncommon taste in music, even as a child. After that short show of good humor, though, the conversation ran flat again. Jared couldn’t for the life of him find a subject to talk about. Basketball? Even when Jensen had been his friend, he hadn’t been interested in it. Baseball? Yeah, maybe. But Jens probably didn’t play anymore, and maybe that was a touchy subject?
Jared peered at the boy next to him, taking in his appearance more thoroughly. The hair that had been black from afar had a blue hue to it, making it shine when you were actually paying attention. Jensen’s fingernails were painted black and the thump-nails where dark crimson. The coat he wore was fake leather, hung over his knees and his boots were even bigger and clunkier than Jared had thought. The kohl was quite a bit more than Mel and Haley used, but it really did interesting things to Jensen’s eyes. Made them shine out from the darkness that surrounded them.
Jared tried to imagine Jensen like he used to be, blondish and mostly mud-smudged, as had been his most common appearance at thirteen. That had been the time their lives took on different routes. Jared had started to notice girls and girls’ legs and ‘assets’ while Jensen had stayed the wild child that ran around in the mud and played with wooden swords out in the forest. Jared hadn’t disliked that, not really. But there had been Rosalyn McAdams with her red hair and her sweet laugh, there had been fun at Kevin’s garage with Mario Kart and Coke and chips. There had been basketball, with pizza afterwards and ice-cream with his teammates. He had been busy growing up.
Jensen’d just slipped under his busy schedule, and Jared felt bad that he hadn’t even missed him, hadn’t even really noticed that his friend wasn’t among his pals until one day, Jensen had turned up with screaming-green hair and wide, baggy jeans. After that, he hadn’t been able to not notice anymore. That Jensen had dropped out of the Hilldale Hobnuggets and the swim-team. That he had sat alone rather than with others, never really looked at any of the girls or actually seemed interested in anything but his notebooks. Kevin joked that he wrote emo-poetry, but Jared was pretty sure he was drawing. Jensen had always been pretty good with a pencil.
It had taken a while until Jens had settled on an outfit. Screaming green turned into ugly pink and into white-blond. His clothes turned from wide and baggy to old, second-hand-store to stuff his grandpa wore - sweaters, old-fashioned shirts worn open over silly t-shirts and strange hats. Jensen often changed his outfits in the matter of days. This one seemed to stick, though - he’d worn it or similar attire for the whole last year.
“How’s Izzy?” Jared blurted after the silence and the wallowing in the past got too much for him. And he wanted to kick himself after that, because what if Izzy was indeed dead?
“Hm? Oh, good. He’s been first in that agility-tournament last month. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Agility? You do agility with him?” Jared was stunned. The last thing he would’ve expected Jensen to do was run around with his dog and let him jump over hurdles and stuff. But then again… the old Jensen would‘ve had a blast.
“No, mom does. I do the day-to-day-stuff, she the fun-part.” That made sense. Donna loved dogs, had always liked them. She was one of those moms that did as much with their canines as she did with her kids. If not more. It was kinda cool, how she managed a family, a dog and a job. If he remembered right, Jensen’d helped a lot in the house to keep them going, and his sister was much less bratty than Meg. Or maybe not.
Maybe the lack of a father made Jensen consider homicide? But then again, his dad had died when he was pretty little, just after his sister’d been born - he hadn’t really known him anyway, had he? Mrs. Ackles had always been a single-mom, and as far as Jared could tell was pretty good at it.
“Hey, where’re you going? Home is that way!” Jared pointed to the right when Jensen veered left, into the park that didn’t even come close to their homes.
“Short-cut. Comes out next to Walker’s garden.” The old Walkers lived two houses away from the Ackles. Jared hadn’t known, but he now understood how Jensen had walked by him without actually walking past, this morning.
They trudged through the park, cutting through some bushes that were certainly not on any path that was intended to be used and shortly after, they were in the woods. Here, Jared actually felt familiarity. This was what he remembered doing as a kid, walking on some narrow footpath through the trees next to Jensen, always looking for treasures.
“Huh”
“What?”
“Man, I kinda expect to find our fort every second now.”
Jensen laughed again.
“It’s on the other side of the forest. But yeah, that was cool. How many days did we spend there, huh?”
“Weeks, man. Don’t ya remember - Mom asked when we’d finally move out for good” Jared grinned with him. He nearly forgot his Plan, watching Jensen laugh like this.
But not really.
“Hey… whatcha doin’ tonight?”
“Uh… nothing. Why?”
“Nothing? Man, it’s Friday. You should do something. Hey, did ya watch Resident Evil: Afterlife already? I wanted to go, but the others already went and if you maybe… You wanna come with?”
“Uh, Jay, man. I dunno…”
“What? Come on, we could hang out, have some fun. I miss you, man.”
“Miss me, huh?” An impish smile tugged at Jensen’s mouth. “That a fact?”
“Absolutely!” Jared said with conviction, and really, he didn’t have to fake anything.
“Ok. Since I don’t have anything better to do…”
“Awesome! Pick you up at seven?”
“You wanna pick me up? I thought you aren’t allowed to drive?”
Dammit. Jared had forgotten.
“Shit. Maybe my mom…” he didn’t finish that sentence. Apart from the horribly embarrassing experience to be driven by his mom to the movies he couldn’t very well tell her why he couldn’t drive himself. And his mom was extremely nosy. She certainly wouldn’t just let it go that suddenly, just after Bill talked about Jensen, Jared wanted to hang out with him, after two years of near-silence. Shit.
Jensen smiled, which looked a bit spooky with his dark attire and bumped his shoulder.
“Don’t worry. I can drive. I’ll pick you up, then. Your house’s on the way anyway.”
“Cool.” Maybe he could avoid his mom knowing after all. And if not, he could certainly find a suitable lie to explain their re-forging friendship later that night, when Jensen wasn’t around.
-*-
I miss you, man
That’d been said to convince Jens. It hadn’t been a lie, but only after they’d parted at the Ackles’ house did Jared realize how true it actually was. He missed his friend, now that he’d seen him again, talked to him again.
When he came home, he clunked upstairs in his boots, not even bothering to take off his jacket either. His Mom called after him that dinner would be at six and he just yelled “Ok” before he grabbed the phone and called the Farlands.
“Yo.”
“Kevin?” his friend had a very unique way of greeting a caller, no matter who it was. “Can you get me Mel?”
“Aw, J-Man. She’s out shopping. Wants to be pretty for you.” Jared heard the smile in Kevin’s voice, but he groaned internally. This was going to be really sucky.
“Right. I’ll call her cell. Sorry.”
“No bother. See ya Saturday?”
“Definitely!” He’d be dead otherwise.
“Awesome, assbug. Later.” And the line clicked. Jared wiped his face and took the time to take off his boots and jacket. He might as well be comfortable while getting chewed out by his girlfriend. He dug out his cell and picked Mel out of his contacts, hoping that maybe some miracle happened and he didn’t have to upset her. He‘d actually been looking forward to their date tonight. But it wasn’t that big a deal. He could do that tomorrow, right? Or Sunday.
“Jay, hi.”
“Uh, hi, Mel.”
“Oh no. What’s up?” She was smart, that girl. Three words, if you counted the ‘uh’ as one and she already knew that something wasn’t fine.
“Uh… I kinda…”
“You’re cancelling tonight?” Jared cringed. They‘d had plans to go for pizza and maybe to the fair, or hang out and watch a DVD at her place. Make out, for sure. But he’d grabbed the opportunity with Jensen, and Mel would understand, wouldn’t she?
“Uhm… Yes?” He heard a sigh.
“Well. Fine. Your loss.” She sounded a bit cold now.
“Mel, I’m sorry. Really. But…”
“No, it’s not so bad.” Melanie sighed and she really didn’t sound that mad. Not like she could’ve been. Weirdly enough, it miffed Jay a bit. “Molly and Haley are going to the fair, asked me if we’d hook up later with them. So now I can join them right away. No biggy. But you better have a damn fine reason to stand me up, bugger.”
“I do, I swear.” Silence.
“Well? You’ gonna tell me, or should I guess?”
“Mel… You know Jensen?”
“Of course I know Jensen. Everyone knows Jensen. What about him?” For a few seconds, she was silent. Then “You’re hanging out with him?”
Jared winced at the incredulous sound of her voice. Was it really that hard to imagine? No wonder Jensen felt mad enough to kill, if everyone thought that way about him.
“Yeah. We used to be friends, maybe you remember? When we were kids?”
“Jared… that was ages ago. Why now, all of a sudden? I mean, fine, if you wanna, I can’t stop you. But why?”
“I missed him.” And again it astounded him how much that was true. Mel sighed into his ear, the slight rumble of the busy mall she was in a steady soundtrack to their conversation.
“All right. Have fun. But you better be there Saturday, or I’ll kill you!”
“’Course, baby!”
“And don’t call me baby, you asshole! Saturday. Three o’clock. You better buy me something chocolaty after, Mister P, or I’ll tell how tiny your dick is!”
She would do that, even if it wasn’t true. Mel wasn’t shy of using teenage-rumors to her benefit, though, and it was hard to prove differently short of dropping your pants in the hall. Some called her ruthless, but Jared admired her fire. She was tough, smart and beautiful, with her honey-colored hair and the trim body. And he was the one who got her, even though half the school wanted into her pants.
“Saturday at three. I’ll be there, I swear. Go and practice the pompom-waving” he teased, even though he knew how long she’d had to practice to be as good a cheerleader as she was. He heard the outraged cry just before he disconnected. Mel’d eat him alive for that remark.
He was counting on it.
-*-
At seven, pretty much precisely, the doorbell rang at the Padaleckis. Despite her son yelling that he’d get it, Sharon opened the door. To her honor, she wasn’t shocked for longer than a few second to see a black-clad, black-haired, black-eyed boy with boots up to his knees and a whole assortment of wristbands. Narrow leather-bands, silver chains with skulls and one wide leather-cuff with spikes. Small spikes, but spikes. Metal spikes.
A chain was fixed on his black jeans, looping from his belt and disappearing into his back-pocket. The chain was probably harmlessly connected with his purse, but all the metal and leather took her by surprise. When the kid smiled, a little awkwardly, she recognized him at once, though.
“Jensen! My, what a surprise. Boy you have… grown” She caught herself, but the slight smirk Jensen was sporting told her the teenager had understood quite well what she’d just prevented from spilling out. Boy, you have changed
“Hi, Mrs. P. Long time no see.” He stood in the doorway, shifting a little now that the first greeting was done with. He clinked.
“Oh, where are my manners. Come in. Jared’ll be here right away. JARED!” she yelled upstairs, like she’d always done. “Jensen is here. Get your ass down. Sorry” Sherry turned back to Jensen. “You want a drink? I might even still got some root beer somewhere. Or don’t you drink that anymore?”
“I sure do, Mrs. P. Thanks. I’m not sure, we wanted to hit the movies, so…”
“Ah, it’s fine. I have some in the fridge. Jared thinks he’s too grown-up now to drink it, but Megan likes it and when nobody’s looking, I’ve seen my son steal a bottle still.”
“Awww, Mom….” Jared groaned behind her. “You know it’s not true. That’s Dad.”
Sharon only snickered, patted Jensen’s shoulder - that little boy really had grown - and gave her own, struggling kid a kiss on the cheek.
“Have fun. Don’t come too late. Take the key and drive safe. Bye.” And with that, she was gone and left a red-faced Jared and his guest in the kitchen.
“Uh… You wanna drink? Or should we go right away?”
“Na, let’s go. Maybe there’ll be a crowd. Don’t want crappy seats. C’mon.”
Jared grabbed his jacket and followed his friend out, murmuring “Dad drinks the root-beer, I swear” under his breath. Jens only laughed.
-*-
“The kitchen’s different.” They‘d been driving, listening to Metallica on low. Jensen swore it was the mellowest music he had in the car and Jared actually liked them.
“Yeah. We took the old one out last year. Mom got it for Christmas. She always wanted a lighter one, with a cooking-center and all that. Best thing though? We got to eat out for the whole week the crew needed to install it.”
“Cool. My ‘rents did a do-over with the living-room. New couch, new tables, new color on the walls - the whole shebang. Only thing that stayed? The TV. You believe that shit? I mean, they spent so much money on stuff but they didn’t think about buying some new TV? Who does that?”
Jared laughed and just like that, they were at their old banter and joking. To Jared’s surprise, Jens hadn’t really changed that much. He was still funny, still talked a lot and laughed often. Hard to believe that this was the silent, lonely boy in school. But maybe this was an act? Trying to show Jared how all-right he was, to make him like him? He was sure that there were a lot of cases of people who hid their true feelings so well that nobody noticed. He’d seen something like that on Criminal Intent.
-*-
“Well…”
“Yeah.” The movie wasn’t what they’d expected. It hadn’t sucked, exactly, but it hadn’t really blown their minds either.
“The 3D was awesome, though. And Mila’s always worth to look at”
Jared laughed.
“Yeah, right. She’s definitely still hot. Man, those pants…” Both boys contemplated the fine body of Mila Jovovich in tight pants for a while, before Jensen spoke again.
“Still prefer the game.”
Jared let out a relieved puff of air at that. “Man, I’m so glad you said that. The story was a bit low, wasn’t it?”
They started walking, taking their time. Jared tried to find a subject to talk about, other than his doubts about the wisdom of taking an amuck-candidate into a movie about killing people, even if it were infected people, zombies. Jens’ boots thud-thudded next to him and the clink-clink of the clasps and buckles and chains were distracting him from thinking. He spotted a mother moving protectively in front of her toddler when they passed. Kid should be in bed, what did she get all worked up over, bad mom that she was?
“There hasn’t been that much good stuff on screen recently, I think” was what he came up with. Jensen nodded, turning to him and walking backwards for a while.
“Yeah. Dark Knight was pretty good, though.”
“Hell yes! Man, Bale is really fucking good as Batman!”
“Well, after the Batman’s before him, that’s not much of a competition. Apart from Keaton, the rest was horrible. And the early Batman-movies were a bit lame, action-wise.”
“Absolutely. But I tell ya one thing: Michelle Pfeiffer was the world hottest Catwoman. Screw Halle Berry!”
Jensen laughed at that. “I so would, if she was available.”
Jared’s ears got crimson and both really laughed harder than the slip merited. But that’s what teenagers did.
They talked about Batman, The Joker, Heath Ledger and other important stuff some more before they reached McDonalds to get some greasy, delightful food into their stomachs.
“So, what’s your favorite screen-hero, then?”
“Mine?” Jared had to think about that a bit. “Dunno. Maybe Spiderman.”
“Really? Why?”
“Hm. He’s kinda cool, you know? He can swipe through the air, fights crime and even manages to have a career at a newspaper.” Secretly, that’s what Jared wanted to do himself. He took pictures of nearly everything and everyone; whenever possible he took his SLR - a present from his Grandpa - and found something worth freezing in time.
“Betcha having MJ doesn’t hurt.”
Jared grinned devilishly. “Certainly not. It’s cool, cause Mel kinda digs Tobey McGuire, so we can both watch it. I don’t have to watch schmoopy chick-flicks with her.”
“Really? What’s she doing with you, then? McGuire is what? 5’7’’?”
“Yeah, well. He also gets a shitload of money and is a vegetarian, so that might help with his vertical problems, but we all know that I’m way hotter” Jared smirked and ran into the closed glass-door.
After he’d retrieved some of his dignity from the giggling girls in the McD’s and Jensen, who was doubling over from laughing, they ordered and sat at one of the tables.
“Dude, shut up!” he growled when Jens still couldn’t look at him without snorting. “It’s not even that funny”
“Jay, man, that was priceless. Absolutely made my day!”
“Yeah, yeah. So, who’s your hero, then?” the change of topic was obvious but successful. Jensen swallowed his burger together with some coke - yak! - and answered at once.
“Benjamin Franklin Pierce.”
“Who?”
Jens stared at him like he’d just announced not to know who Barack Obama was. “Dude! How can you forget Hawkeye? We spent days watching …”
“Ah, oh! M*A*S*H! Sorry, of course. Guy’s great. But. Dunno... Strange choice.”
“No no!” Jensen hastened to say, his mouth full. Again, yak. ”He’s a true hero! He’s not pretending to be someone he isn’t, or hides behind a mask. He don’t has no superpowers, yet still saves people, has a conscience and snark and drinks too much and gets every girl he wants and most of all, nobody can make him dress the way they want him to. And he gets away with almost anything. Also? Best sidekicks ever.” From that perspective, it made some sense. But man, Jensen was odd. A fucking surgeon as a hero? Might as well choose Dr. Whatsisname, from Grey’s Anatomy.
“You’re still watching that show?”
“I’ve got the whole set of DVDs. Whenever I can, I watch. You can switch off the laughter, man, that is so much better.”
Jared remembered them sitting on Jensen’s mom’s ratty couch, going through the episodes, speaking the dialogue word-by-word together. Odd, how things change and stay the same at the same time. Jens was still geeking out about that shit.
-*-
“Uh, whatcha doing this weekend?” They were on their way back to the parking lot, stuffed full with fries and burgers and milkshakes.
“Jay.” Jensen stood still and Jared looked over, finding him a little hard to read with all the black in his face.
“What?”
Jensen shook his head and sighed.
“Nothing”.
“No, tell me. What’s wrong with that question?”
“Look, it was fun. Okay? I’ve missed you and all, but you don’t need to be all over me. My life is fine and you have your own friends. It was cool but you’re a …. Well, you play basketball. I’m the weird guy. You don’t owe me anything.”
“No, of course not! This isn’t a pity-date, man. We had fun, right? Why’s it have to be either-or? Can’t I have you and the others? Can’t I be a basketball-player with a cheerleader-girlfriend and a weird friend? Is it so impossible?” For a second, Jay forgot that it had been a pity-date, sort of. It hadn’t felt like it even for a minute.
“Yeah, no. But why now? Why this suddenly? I mean, two years nearly nothing - and I didn’t exactly jump over to you either - and now, out of the blue, you decide you wanna be friends again? I don’t get it. What brought this on?” Yeah. What brought this on? Jared couldn’t very well tell him that he’d read the chat and wanted to prevent Jensen from blasting away in their school. It would kinda defeat the purpose, he was sure.
“Not sudden. I told ya, I missed you. I just… there wasn’t the right time.” Thinking back, he’d thought about going to him, at least twice a week. But something would always come up or he couldn’t think about what to say. “…‘s just… I felt bad. I mean, we were friends, real friends, and I had loads of fun with you. And now we should ignore each other, just because you dress weird?”
“I don’t dress weird!”
Jared stared at him, his eyebrows up nearly under his hairline. He took a second to look around them, noticing the hidden glances people threw their way. Suspicious, like Jens would start sacrificing babies on the sidewalk any minute now. One woman even crossed herself and switched to the other side of the street. He looked back. The outrage on his friend’s face was so funny, with how dark and strange he appeared that Jay snickered.
“Dude… Have you looked at yourself recently?”
Jensen glanced down at his black pants, his boots, his coat. He scowled, shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was kinda cute, Jared thought.
“Yeah, whatever. Come on, asswipe. Car’s waiting.”
The Ackles’ drove a very responsible, silver Toyota, which looked ridiculous combined with the teenage-Goth at the wheel. But better than walking, he’d told Jay when he’d snickered at first. They pulled out of the lot and made their way back home.
“So, now that that’s out of the way - what about the weekend?” He couldn’t very well let Jensen be all moody and depressed for two days, right? Who knew what kind of inferno he’d come up with.
“Dude…”
“Cause, Mel has this tournament tomorrow, but Sunday’s free. I mean, or I suppose you could come with, watch Mel and her girls kick some ass?” He was pretty doubtful that this would be a good idea, but better than leaving Jens alone at home.
“Tournament?”
“Yeah, cheerleading-competition. State-wide, or county, I forgot. But they’re pretty good.” He heard Jensen cough “No, really!” he added when he spotted the horrified expression on his friend.
“Dude! Cheerleading? You’re kidding me, right?”
“Well…” he looked over again. Yeah. Jensen would stand out like a pink elephant in the mall and would probably feel even stranger than one, in between the all-American-dream-teens. He furiously thought of a reason he could cancel that didn’t leave him castrated by a seething Melanie Farland. Whose brother would happily hold him down for abandoning him with the chicks.
“Doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not here this weekend.”
“Oh.” Relief? Or disappointment? “Where’re you going?” he asked, just as Jensen stopped the car in Jared’s driveway.
“Fairfield, till Sunday night” Jared stepped out.
“What’s in Fairfield?” he asked before he closed the passenger-door. Jensen wound down the window and stuck his head out.
“LARP” he threw out, grinning like a madman, pretty close to the Ledger-Joker, and drove off, waving his silver-adorned hand in the night-air.
Chapter 3
Author: marlowe78
Rating: R for later-occurring violence
Characters: Jared, Jensen, OCs
Word count: This part ~6.200, ~21.000 the whole story.
Warnings: Violence in later chapters. Crude language. Mentions of *gosh* heterosexual relationships and underage kissing.
Summary: Highschool-AU.
Jared Padalecki is one of the Golden Boys of Hilldale. He has all you need to be sixteen and is a nice guy on top. If there wouldn't be the mystery of his former best-friend Jensen, who transformed into some kind of Grim Reaper, his life would be boring in its' perfection.
Title is taken from "Teenagers", by My Chemical Romance
a/n: This one got a bit longer. Many,many thanks to my little brother (who is kinda not-so-little, with round about 6'3" now). He may (hopefully) never know, but it's him who inspired Jensen's fashion-sense. Ah, you just have to love goth-brothers, right?
Again, thanks to soncnica, who is amazing (and writes damn good stories herself, if I may pimp so)
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Jared was tired beyond tired. But he had a standing deal with his parents: he got to use the Mazda when his mom didn’t need it and in exchange played chauffeur for his sister, who was fourteen-three-quarters and a freshman at Hilldale High. So he drove. Even though he felt like his eyes were filled with sand.
While he was trying to listen to 30 Seconds to Mars and at the same time blocking out the constant chatter from the passenger-seat, he spotted a lonely, black-clad figure on the sidewalk.
Huh. Right. Jensen lived only two streets over from him. He’d kinda forgotten. They’d once shared the schoolbus, sometimes been driven together by one of their parents. He waved and watched, without being stalker-ish, as the boy trudged through the crisp morning, sometimes kicking up leaves with his boots. He wasn’t sure if Jensen didn’t see him or if he ignored him, but he didn’t wave back.
Man, those boots must weight a ton, Jared wondered, and those clasps and buckles…. He contemplated if Jensen stood up hours earlier, just so he could buckle his feet. Who’d do that, just to look like … just to look weird? And what kid nowadays wore a leather-coat? He looked like a vampire, but not the silly, glittering emo-vamps Mel kept cooing over. He looked Underworld-vamp.
Just not half as sexy as Kate Beckinsale.
Still, that was no reason to kill anyone, right? If you dressed like that in a world of blue-jeans and sneakers, you had to be prepared for drawing attention. Didn’t ya?
But then again, wasn’t that what the chatter had said? That nobody listened? So how would he feel if he played the role of the strange kid and still nobody would listen to you, talk to you, care?
“Hey, stupid. How long’re you gonna sit here?”
“Shut up, Megs” he replied automatically, when in truth he hadn’t even noticed that they‘d arrived at school. Great, another day in teenage-hell.
-*-
“Boy, you look like shit.” Jared’s uncle wasn’t anyone who believed in sugarcoating truths. At least not for his nephew. And he was probably right to say that, considering the glance Jared’d had at his own face just minutes ago in the bathroom-mirror. He was exhausted, but at the same time wired like he was before a big game.
School had been horrible, and horribly boring. He had tried to pay more attention to Jensen, but they didn’t have that many classes together. Chemistry was only on Tuesdays, and instead of participating in any sport, Jensen was in Arts and Drama. Not that that was any indication of madness, but it lend a certain emo-factor to the whole Ackles-affair.
What he had glimpsed, the few times he’d been able to, was more of the same he saw in the cafeteria: Jensen was alone. Strolling through the halls alone, sitting alone, listening to his I-Pod alone. He sat in the yard alone, sometimes with, sometimes without a notebook and a pencil. He didn’t speak to others, and nobody spoke to him.
Man, what a sucky life.
“Yeah, thanks a lot, Bill.”
“Ah, you’re welcome, kid.” Bill ruffled his hair, then slapped the back of Jared’s head playfully. “How’s school?”
And there it was. The big opener. The great chance to tell somebody about his misgivings. Not just anybody, but his uncle, who was actually Officer William Thompson, Hilldale PD. Jared took a deep breath.
“Hey, you still friends with that Ackles-kid?” Oh. What?
Jay exhaled. “Huh?”
“Yeah, you know. Jason.”
“Jensen”
“S what I said. Strange boy. Just booked him last week.”
“What?” Jared squeaked “Why?”
“Ah, shop-owner called, said this kid was stealing. Held him until we came. Man, what a dick”
“Jensen?”
“No, kid was cool. Didn’t say a nasty thing, polite and all. Claimed it was a misunderstanding.” Bill took a sip of his beer, scratching his head. “Misunderstanding my ass.”
“William!”
“Sorry, Sherry.”
“Why not? I mean, why wasn’t it a misunderstanding?”
“Well, your buddy didn’t do nothing. Didn’t steal shit. Owner just grabbed him ‘cause of how he looks, all black and moody and all. He nearly told us when we asked him where his proof was. Said ‘Just look at him, off’cers! He’da have done it, ya just see it in his eyes. Evil, he’s all evil!’” Bill chuckled mirthlessly. Jared was impressed, had always been, in his uncle’s ability to imitate people. Bill sighed, sauntered over to his big sister and peered into the pot on the stove, stealing a sliced carrot. Sherry smacked him at his head and he grinned devilishly. “Sherry-Tarry, plum and sherry” he teased and only turned back to the subject Jared was interested in when the siblings were done with their foolery. “I tell ya what, though, Jay. That kid? Never took a dime. But tell that to my partner” disgusted, the man screwed up his nose and burped, which earned him a grin from Jared and a very disapproving look from his sister. “M sorry”, he said, but he wasn’t.
“So, what happened?” Jay interrupted the newly starting round of swats and chuckles. He knew it would be some time if he didn’t.
“Couldn’t keep him, even though Murph tried real hard to get the kid confess. Man, sometimes he’s such a di… dimwit, Murphy. I’m not sure how the kid didn’t start bawling. Murph has a mean streak, sometimes. Owner dropped the charges when we didn’t get evidence, told Jamie - Jason? Jensen! wasn’t welcome there anymore and that was that. Poor kid. So what, he still your friend?”
Jared dropped his eyes. Shook his head, stopped, shrugged. “I guess”
“Yeah. Well. Tell him he might wanna look less like a psycho-killer in the future. Wasn’t the first time he was with us. Gets pulled in every other week, different charges. Stalking, lurking, stealing - all from narrow-headed assholes - sorry, Sher - people who are too insecure to believe in the actual meaning of “land of the free”. I mean, if he wants to look like that dude from The Matrix, who cares?”
“Well, obviously you do, Billy. You just told Jared he should tell him to dress differently.” Jared’s mom spoke up, not once taking her gaze from the onions she was cutting.
“That wasn’t… I didn’t… Look. ‘S just not very healthy for a teenager to be with the police so often, ‘s all I’m sayin’. Kid gets into trouble without getting into trouble, one day he might not get out of it.” He smirked, a little bitterly and changed the subject. “So, what’s for dinner, sissy?”
“Who says you’re invited? You can cook; I know that for a fact.”
“Aww, Sherry. Common… Puhlease? Linda is with her folks and I am soooo hungry. You wouldn’t make me starve, wouldya?”
Jared went and set one more plate on the table. His mom couldn’t withstand her younger brother longer than five minutes. And actually, the whole Padalecki-clan liked having Bill over. Bill was fun. Even though Jared would have liked the day to end without the added confirmation of Jensen’s problems.
-*-
The evening turned out to be as much fun as those visits of his uncle usually were. They talked and laughed and played some silly game that Megan’d gotten for her birthday last month. It was with laughter in his heart that Jared went up to his room, changed into a bath-towel and went to have a shower. Only when he came back and his eyes fell on the computer did he remember the predicament he was in.
Turn Jensen in? Tell Bill? What would happen?
Well, if it turned out that Jensen was serious, he would probably get some shrink to look him over, maybe he even needed to be sent into a mental institute. Locked up, like some criminal. Or maybe not, but he would certainly forever be the crazy kid that wanted to run amuck in the highschool. And given how much the public hated kids that did that, not to mention their families… Jensen’s life would be over. Even if he moved away, there would always stay that stain.
Jensen didn’t deserve that. Jared remembered the times they’d spent together. Laughing so hard that coke ran out of their noses; building a trebuchet in Jensen’s backyard, nearly taking out the neighbor’s cat on the trial run. He remembered Jensen at twelve, close to tears when his dog‘d died, how they’d buried the ugly mutt in the woods behind the little creek that ran close to the border of the Padaleckis’ property. How Jensen’d cried so hard when they dropped the damp earth over his old friend’s fur that he hadn’t been able to stop sobbing and Jay’d been scared he’d suffocate.
He remembered the weeks after, Jensen so sad and lonely that Jared’d gone over and asked Mrs Ackles if she wouldn’t consider buying a new dog - he would even pay one half for it. Mrs Ackles smiled and patted his head, told him that it was Jensen who was refusing to get a new dog. And Jared’d told her to just go and get a puppy, because his friend would certainly not refuse a dog that was already there.
It had taken two more weeks until Jens’d come over to Jared, proudly presenting a mangy three months-old dog with sad eyes and only half a tail, just picked up from the shelter two towns over.
Man, that beast had been one ugly little critter, but Jensen had loved him and the last time Jay had seen it, Izzy - short for Ignatius - had been a proud, well-kept hip-high dog with a shine in his coat and a twinkle in his eyes. He wondered if Izzy was still alive. Should be… five? Yeah, around five years now. He would have heard if Izz had died, wouldn’t he?
Jared tried to recall if he’d seen Jensen and his dog lately, but couldn’t. He’d been so busy with training, his friends and Mel and school. He hadn’t been in the park or the woods for ages. Maybe Izzy was dead and that had tipped Jens over?
No. He couldn’t just let Jensen fall. Not like this, not when the police had him listed as the usual suspect already for half the crimes in this city.
But he couldn’t do nothing either. Couldn’t let Jens run rampant in the school, killing people and shooting stuff. No. Not an option.
Sighing into his pillow, Jared turned in his bed, trying to get his over-tired brain to shut-the-fuck-up already. But it wouldn’t.
In the wee hours of the misty September-night, Jared put together a plan that would take care of both problems; that would make Jensen change his mind about going berserk, that would show him that people cared - or at least one person did.
He’d get his friend back.
-*-
Jared’s Big Plan had to be delayed a bit. He’d planned to walk today, like Jensen, and ‘accidentally’ meet him on their way to school. But after Jared’d waited till a quarter to eight and no Jensen in sight, he had to give up and run. Literally run.
When he arrived, he was still twenty minutes too late and sweating like a pig. He was disheveled and probably smelled like he did after Coach Cocker felt the need to punish them for something. Worst of all, though, was spotting Jensen sitting in his classroom when Jay ran past. Shit. How did he manage that?
After a day spent in anxiety - Jensen never said when he planned to ‘make them listen’, did he? - and stressed with pretending to be interested in what Mark and Kevin had to tell, Jared prepared his exit meticulously. He watched Jensen leave, waited only a few minutes and followed. It didn’t take him long to close in on the other boy.
“Jensen, hey, wait up!” He jogged the last few feet, grabbed his shoulder when Jensen wouldn’t stop. When he did, Jensen spun and nearly snapped his wrist in a move so fast Jared wasn’t sure he even had moved.
“Jesus Christ, Jared! What the fuck? You tryin’ to give me a heart-attack?”
“Ow, fuck. You should talk, man. Nearly broke my arm.” Jared moved his hand a little, hissing when the motion caused a sting. “I called, you didn’t stop.”
“Sorry. “ Jensen pointed to the ear-buds that were hanging on his neck. “Didn’t hear ya.”
“Oh.”
They walked a few steps, until Jensen stopped and turned to him. “Did you want something?”
“Uh. No. I just… uhm, I got car-ban, for…” Now what could he have done? Oh, yes! “For getting drunk. Or better, for getting caught while dunk. So... I thought we could walk together? I mean, if you don’t mind?”
Jensen shrugged. “Why not. What about Farland, can’t he give you a ride?”
“Uh, he needs to go with Mel. Shopping.” What a lame excuse. There was no way Kev would consider shopping with his sister. But Jensen probably didn’t know that.
“Yak. Poor guy.” They trudged along, not saying anything. It did feel a bit awkward. They used to be friends, for god’s sake!
“So… whaddaya lisnin’?”
“Huh?”
“The music? Iron Maiden?”
“Oh”. Jensen actually grinned. “Nope. Dire Straits.” His grin turned into a real laugh when he saw Jared’s face. “I have metal on my playlist, but Knopfler is perfect for walking.”
“Man, you’e certainly full of surprises” Jared smiled as well, but remembered that Jensen’d always had uncommon taste in music, even as a child. After that short show of good humor, though, the conversation ran flat again. Jared couldn’t for the life of him find a subject to talk about. Basketball? Even when Jensen had been his friend, he hadn’t been interested in it. Baseball? Yeah, maybe. But Jens probably didn’t play anymore, and maybe that was a touchy subject?
Jared peered at the boy next to him, taking in his appearance more thoroughly. The hair that had been black from afar had a blue hue to it, making it shine when you were actually paying attention. Jensen’s fingernails were painted black and the thump-nails where dark crimson. The coat he wore was fake leather, hung over his knees and his boots were even bigger and clunkier than Jared had thought. The kohl was quite a bit more than Mel and Haley used, but it really did interesting things to Jensen’s eyes. Made them shine out from the darkness that surrounded them.
Jared tried to imagine Jensen like he used to be, blondish and mostly mud-smudged, as had been his most common appearance at thirteen. That had been the time their lives took on different routes. Jared had started to notice girls and girls’ legs and ‘assets’ while Jensen had stayed the wild child that ran around in the mud and played with wooden swords out in the forest. Jared hadn’t disliked that, not really. But there had been Rosalyn McAdams with her red hair and her sweet laugh, there had been fun at Kevin’s garage with Mario Kart and Coke and chips. There had been basketball, with pizza afterwards and ice-cream with his teammates. He had been busy growing up.
Jensen’d just slipped under his busy schedule, and Jared felt bad that he hadn’t even missed him, hadn’t even really noticed that his friend wasn’t among his pals until one day, Jensen had turned up with screaming-green hair and wide, baggy jeans. After that, he hadn’t been able to not notice anymore. That Jensen had dropped out of the Hilldale Hobnuggets and the swim-team. That he had sat alone rather than with others, never really looked at any of the girls or actually seemed interested in anything but his notebooks. Kevin joked that he wrote emo-poetry, but Jared was pretty sure he was drawing. Jensen had always been pretty good with a pencil.
It had taken a while until Jens had settled on an outfit. Screaming green turned into ugly pink and into white-blond. His clothes turned from wide and baggy to old, second-hand-store to stuff his grandpa wore - sweaters, old-fashioned shirts worn open over silly t-shirts and strange hats. Jensen often changed his outfits in the matter of days. This one seemed to stick, though - he’d worn it or similar attire for the whole last year.
“How’s Izzy?” Jared blurted after the silence and the wallowing in the past got too much for him. And he wanted to kick himself after that, because what if Izzy was indeed dead?
“Hm? Oh, good. He’s been first in that agility-tournament last month. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Agility? You do agility with him?” Jared was stunned. The last thing he would’ve expected Jensen to do was run around with his dog and let him jump over hurdles and stuff. But then again… the old Jensen would‘ve had a blast.
“No, mom does. I do the day-to-day-stuff, she the fun-part.” That made sense. Donna loved dogs, had always liked them. She was one of those moms that did as much with their canines as she did with her kids. If not more. It was kinda cool, how she managed a family, a dog and a job. If he remembered right, Jensen’d helped a lot in the house to keep them going, and his sister was much less bratty than Meg. Or maybe not.
Maybe the lack of a father made Jensen consider homicide? But then again, his dad had died when he was pretty little, just after his sister’d been born - he hadn’t really known him anyway, had he? Mrs. Ackles had always been a single-mom, and as far as Jared could tell was pretty good at it.
“Hey, where’re you going? Home is that way!” Jared pointed to the right when Jensen veered left, into the park that didn’t even come close to their homes.
“Short-cut. Comes out next to Walker’s garden.” The old Walkers lived two houses away from the Ackles. Jared hadn’t known, but he now understood how Jensen had walked by him without actually walking past, this morning.
They trudged through the park, cutting through some bushes that were certainly not on any path that was intended to be used and shortly after, they were in the woods. Here, Jared actually felt familiarity. This was what he remembered doing as a kid, walking on some narrow footpath through the trees next to Jensen, always looking for treasures.
“Huh”
“What?”
“Man, I kinda expect to find our fort every second now.”
Jensen laughed again.
“It’s on the other side of the forest. But yeah, that was cool. How many days did we spend there, huh?”
“Weeks, man. Don’t ya remember - Mom asked when we’d finally move out for good” Jared grinned with him. He nearly forgot his Plan, watching Jensen laugh like this.
But not really.
“Hey… whatcha doin’ tonight?”
“Uh… nothing. Why?”
“Nothing? Man, it’s Friday. You should do something. Hey, did ya watch Resident Evil: Afterlife already? I wanted to go, but the others already went and if you maybe… You wanna come with?”
“Uh, Jay, man. I dunno…”
“What? Come on, we could hang out, have some fun. I miss you, man.”
“Miss me, huh?” An impish smile tugged at Jensen’s mouth. “That a fact?”
“Absolutely!” Jared said with conviction, and really, he didn’t have to fake anything.
“Ok. Since I don’t have anything better to do…”
“Awesome! Pick you up at seven?”
“You wanna pick me up? I thought you aren’t allowed to drive?”
Dammit. Jared had forgotten.
“Shit. Maybe my mom…” he didn’t finish that sentence. Apart from the horribly embarrassing experience to be driven by his mom to the movies he couldn’t very well tell her why he couldn’t drive himself. And his mom was extremely nosy. She certainly wouldn’t just let it go that suddenly, just after Bill talked about Jensen, Jared wanted to hang out with him, after two years of near-silence. Shit.
Jensen smiled, which looked a bit spooky with his dark attire and bumped his shoulder.
“Don’t worry. I can drive. I’ll pick you up, then. Your house’s on the way anyway.”
“Cool.” Maybe he could avoid his mom knowing after all. And if not, he could certainly find a suitable lie to explain their re-forging friendship later that night, when Jensen wasn’t around.
-*-
I miss you, man
That’d been said to convince Jens. It hadn’t been a lie, but only after they’d parted at the Ackles’ house did Jared realize how true it actually was. He missed his friend, now that he’d seen him again, talked to him again.
When he came home, he clunked upstairs in his boots, not even bothering to take off his jacket either. His Mom called after him that dinner would be at six and he just yelled “Ok” before he grabbed the phone and called the Farlands.
“Yo.”
“Kevin?” his friend had a very unique way of greeting a caller, no matter who it was. “Can you get me Mel?”
“Aw, J-Man. She’s out shopping. Wants to be pretty for you.” Jared heard the smile in Kevin’s voice, but he groaned internally. This was going to be really sucky.
“Right. I’ll call her cell. Sorry.”
“No bother. See ya Saturday?”
“Definitely!” He’d be dead otherwise.
“Awesome, assbug. Later.” And the line clicked. Jared wiped his face and took the time to take off his boots and jacket. He might as well be comfortable while getting chewed out by his girlfriend. He dug out his cell and picked Mel out of his contacts, hoping that maybe some miracle happened and he didn’t have to upset her. He‘d actually been looking forward to their date tonight. But it wasn’t that big a deal. He could do that tomorrow, right? Or Sunday.
“Jay, hi.”
“Uh, hi, Mel.”
“Oh no. What’s up?” She was smart, that girl. Three words, if you counted the ‘uh’ as one and she already knew that something wasn’t fine.
“Uh… I kinda…”
“You’re cancelling tonight?” Jared cringed. They‘d had plans to go for pizza and maybe to the fair, or hang out and watch a DVD at her place. Make out, for sure. But he’d grabbed the opportunity with Jensen, and Mel would understand, wouldn’t she?
“Uhm… Yes?” He heard a sigh.
“Well. Fine. Your loss.” She sounded a bit cold now.
“Mel, I’m sorry. Really. But…”
“No, it’s not so bad.” Melanie sighed and she really didn’t sound that mad. Not like she could’ve been. Weirdly enough, it miffed Jay a bit. “Molly and Haley are going to the fair, asked me if we’d hook up later with them. So now I can join them right away. No biggy. But you better have a damn fine reason to stand me up, bugger.”
“I do, I swear.” Silence.
“Well? You’ gonna tell me, or should I guess?”
“Mel… You know Jensen?”
“Of course I know Jensen. Everyone knows Jensen. What about him?” For a few seconds, she was silent. Then “You’re hanging out with him?”
Jared winced at the incredulous sound of her voice. Was it really that hard to imagine? No wonder Jensen felt mad enough to kill, if everyone thought that way about him.
“Yeah. We used to be friends, maybe you remember? When we were kids?”
“Jared… that was ages ago. Why now, all of a sudden? I mean, fine, if you wanna, I can’t stop you. But why?”
“I missed him.” And again it astounded him how much that was true. Mel sighed into his ear, the slight rumble of the busy mall she was in a steady soundtrack to their conversation.
“All right. Have fun. But you better be there Saturday, or I’ll kill you!”
“’Course, baby!”
“And don’t call me baby, you asshole! Saturday. Three o’clock. You better buy me something chocolaty after, Mister P, or I’ll tell how tiny your dick is!”
She would do that, even if it wasn’t true. Mel wasn’t shy of using teenage-rumors to her benefit, though, and it was hard to prove differently short of dropping your pants in the hall. Some called her ruthless, but Jared admired her fire. She was tough, smart and beautiful, with her honey-colored hair and the trim body. And he was the one who got her, even though half the school wanted into her pants.
“Saturday at three. I’ll be there, I swear. Go and practice the pompom-waving” he teased, even though he knew how long she’d had to practice to be as good a cheerleader as she was. He heard the outraged cry just before he disconnected. Mel’d eat him alive for that remark.
He was counting on it.
-*-
At seven, pretty much precisely, the doorbell rang at the Padaleckis. Despite her son yelling that he’d get it, Sharon opened the door. To her honor, she wasn’t shocked for longer than a few second to see a black-clad, black-haired, black-eyed boy with boots up to his knees and a whole assortment of wristbands. Narrow leather-bands, silver chains with skulls and one wide leather-cuff with spikes. Small spikes, but spikes. Metal spikes.
A chain was fixed on his black jeans, looping from his belt and disappearing into his back-pocket. The chain was probably harmlessly connected with his purse, but all the metal and leather took her by surprise. When the kid smiled, a little awkwardly, she recognized him at once, though.
“Jensen! My, what a surprise. Boy you have… grown” She caught herself, but the slight smirk Jensen was sporting told her the teenager had understood quite well what she’d just prevented from spilling out. Boy, you have changed
“Hi, Mrs. P. Long time no see.” He stood in the doorway, shifting a little now that the first greeting was done with. He clinked.
“Oh, where are my manners. Come in. Jared’ll be here right away. JARED!” she yelled upstairs, like she’d always done. “Jensen is here. Get your ass down. Sorry” Sherry turned back to Jensen. “You want a drink? I might even still got some root beer somewhere. Or don’t you drink that anymore?”
“I sure do, Mrs. P. Thanks. I’m not sure, we wanted to hit the movies, so…”
“Ah, it’s fine. I have some in the fridge. Jared thinks he’s too grown-up now to drink it, but Megan likes it and when nobody’s looking, I’ve seen my son steal a bottle still.”
“Awww, Mom….” Jared groaned behind her. “You know it’s not true. That’s Dad.”
Sharon only snickered, patted Jensen’s shoulder - that little boy really had grown - and gave her own, struggling kid a kiss on the cheek.
“Have fun. Don’t come too late. Take the key and drive safe. Bye.” And with that, she was gone and left a red-faced Jared and his guest in the kitchen.
“Uh… You wanna drink? Or should we go right away?”
“Na, let’s go. Maybe there’ll be a crowd. Don’t want crappy seats. C’mon.”
Jared grabbed his jacket and followed his friend out, murmuring “Dad drinks the root-beer, I swear” under his breath. Jens only laughed.
-*-
“The kitchen’s different.” They‘d been driving, listening to Metallica on low. Jensen swore it was the mellowest music he had in the car and Jared actually liked them.
“Yeah. We took the old one out last year. Mom got it for Christmas. She always wanted a lighter one, with a cooking-center and all that. Best thing though? We got to eat out for the whole week the crew needed to install it.”
“Cool. My ‘rents did a do-over with the living-room. New couch, new tables, new color on the walls - the whole shebang. Only thing that stayed? The TV. You believe that shit? I mean, they spent so much money on stuff but they didn’t think about buying some new TV? Who does that?”
Jared laughed and just like that, they were at their old banter and joking. To Jared’s surprise, Jens hadn’t really changed that much. He was still funny, still talked a lot and laughed often. Hard to believe that this was the silent, lonely boy in school. But maybe this was an act? Trying to show Jared how all-right he was, to make him like him? He was sure that there were a lot of cases of people who hid their true feelings so well that nobody noticed. He’d seen something like that on Criminal Intent.
-*-
“Well…”
“Yeah.” The movie wasn’t what they’d expected. It hadn’t sucked, exactly, but it hadn’t really blown their minds either.
“The 3D was awesome, though. And Mila’s always worth to look at”
Jared laughed.
“Yeah, right. She’s definitely still hot. Man, those pants…” Both boys contemplated the fine body of Mila Jovovich in tight pants for a while, before Jensen spoke again.
“Still prefer the game.”
Jared let out a relieved puff of air at that. “Man, I’m so glad you said that. The story was a bit low, wasn’t it?”
They started walking, taking their time. Jared tried to find a subject to talk about, other than his doubts about the wisdom of taking an amuck-candidate into a movie about killing people, even if it were infected people, zombies. Jens’ boots thud-thudded next to him and the clink-clink of the clasps and buckles and chains were distracting him from thinking. He spotted a mother moving protectively in front of her toddler when they passed. Kid should be in bed, what did she get all worked up over, bad mom that she was?
“There hasn’t been that much good stuff on screen recently, I think” was what he came up with. Jensen nodded, turning to him and walking backwards for a while.
“Yeah. Dark Knight was pretty good, though.”
“Hell yes! Man, Bale is really fucking good as Batman!”
“Well, after the Batman’s before him, that’s not much of a competition. Apart from Keaton, the rest was horrible. And the early Batman-movies were a bit lame, action-wise.”
“Absolutely. But I tell ya one thing: Michelle Pfeiffer was the world hottest Catwoman. Screw Halle Berry!”
Jensen laughed at that. “I so would, if she was available.”
Jared’s ears got crimson and both really laughed harder than the slip merited. But that’s what teenagers did.
They talked about Batman, The Joker, Heath Ledger and other important stuff some more before they reached McDonalds to get some greasy, delightful food into their stomachs.
“So, what’s your favorite screen-hero, then?”
“Mine?” Jared had to think about that a bit. “Dunno. Maybe Spiderman.”
“Really? Why?”
“Hm. He’s kinda cool, you know? He can swipe through the air, fights crime and even manages to have a career at a newspaper.” Secretly, that’s what Jared wanted to do himself. He took pictures of nearly everything and everyone; whenever possible he took his SLR - a present from his Grandpa - and found something worth freezing in time.
“Betcha having MJ doesn’t hurt.”
Jared grinned devilishly. “Certainly not. It’s cool, cause Mel kinda digs Tobey McGuire, so we can both watch it. I don’t have to watch schmoopy chick-flicks with her.”
“Really? What’s she doing with you, then? McGuire is what? 5’7’’?”
“Yeah, well. He also gets a shitload of money and is a vegetarian, so that might help with his vertical problems, but we all know that I’m way hotter” Jared smirked and ran into the closed glass-door.
After he’d retrieved some of his dignity from the giggling girls in the McD’s and Jensen, who was doubling over from laughing, they ordered and sat at one of the tables.
“Dude, shut up!” he growled when Jens still couldn’t look at him without snorting. “It’s not even that funny”
“Jay, man, that was priceless. Absolutely made my day!”
“Yeah, yeah. So, who’s your hero, then?” the change of topic was obvious but successful. Jensen swallowed his burger together with some coke - yak! - and answered at once.
“Benjamin Franklin Pierce.”
“Who?”
Jens stared at him like he’d just announced not to know who Barack Obama was. “Dude! How can you forget Hawkeye? We spent days watching …”
“Ah, oh! M*A*S*H! Sorry, of course. Guy’s great. But. Dunno... Strange choice.”
“No no!” Jensen hastened to say, his mouth full. Again, yak. ”He’s a true hero! He’s not pretending to be someone he isn’t, or hides behind a mask. He don’t has no superpowers, yet still saves people, has a conscience and snark and drinks too much and gets every girl he wants and most of all, nobody can make him dress the way they want him to. And he gets away with almost anything. Also? Best sidekicks ever.” From that perspective, it made some sense. But man, Jensen was odd. A fucking surgeon as a hero? Might as well choose Dr. Whatsisname, from Grey’s Anatomy.
“You’re still watching that show?”
“I’ve got the whole set of DVDs. Whenever I can, I watch. You can switch off the laughter, man, that is so much better.”
Jared remembered them sitting on Jensen’s mom’s ratty couch, going through the episodes, speaking the dialogue word-by-word together. Odd, how things change and stay the same at the same time. Jens was still geeking out about that shit.
-*-
“Uh, whatcha doing this weekend?” They were on their way back to the parking lot, stuffed full with fries and burgers and milkshakes.
“Jay.” Jensen stood still and Jared looked over, finding him a little hard to read with all the black in his face.
“What?”
Jensen shook his head and sighed.
“Nothing”.
“No, tell me. What’s wrong with that question?”
“Look, it was fun. Okay? I’ve missed you and all, but you don’t need to be all over me. My life is fine and you have your own friends. It was cool but you’re a …. Well, you play basketball. I’m the weird guy. You don’t owe me anything.”
“No, of course not! This isn’t a pity-date, man. We had fun, right? Why’s it have to be either-or? Can’t I have you and the others? Can’t I be a basketball-player with a cheerleader-girlfriend and a weird friend? Is it so impossible?” For a second, Jay forgot that it had been a pity-date, sort of. It hadn’t felt like it even for a minute.
“Yeah, no. But why now? Why this suddenly? I mean, two years nearly nothing - and I didn’t exactly jump over to you either - and now, out of the blue, you decide you wanna be friends again? I don’t get it. What brought this on?” Yeah. What brought this on? Jared couldn’t very well tell him that he’d read the chat and wanted to prevent Jensen from blasting away in their school. It would kinda defeat the purpose, he was sure.
“Not sudden. I told ya, I missed you. I just… there wasn’t the right time.” Thinking back, he’d thought about going to him, at least twice a week. But something would always come up or he couldn’t think about what to say. “…‘s just… I felt bad. I mean, we were friends, real friends, and I had loads of fun with you. And now we should ignore each other, just because you dress weird?”
“I don’t dress weird!”
Jared stared at him, his eyebrows up nearly under his hairline. He took a second to look around them, noticing the hidden glances people threw their way. Suspicious, like Jens would start sacrificing babies on the sidewalk any minute now. One woman even crossed herself and switched to the other side of the street. He looked back. The outrage on his friend’s face was so funny, with how dark and strange he appeared that Jay snickered.
“Dude… Have you looked at yourself recently?”
Jensen glanced down at his black pants, his boots, his coat. He scowled, shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was kinda cute, Jared thought.
“Yeah, whatever. Come on, asswipe. Car’s waiting.”
The Ackles’ drove a very responsible, silver Toyota, which looked ridiculous combined with the teenage-Goth at the wheel. But better than walking, he’d told Jay when he’d snickered at first. They pulled out of the lot and made their way back home.
“So, now that that’s out of the way - what about the weekend?” He couldn’t very well let Jensen be all moody and depressed for two days, right? Who knew what kind of inferno he’d come up with.
“Dude…”
“Cause, Mel has this tournament tomorrow, but Sunday’s free. I mean, or I suppose you could come with, watch Mel and her girls kick some ass?” He was pretty doubtful that this would be a good idea, but better than leaving Jens alone at home.
“Tournament?”
“Yeah, cheerleading-competition. State-wide, or county, I forgot. But they’re pretty good.” He heard Jensen cough “No, really!” he added when he spotted the horrified expression on his friend.
“Dude! Cheerleading? You’re kidding me, right?”
“Well…” he looked over again. Yeah. Jensen would stand out like a pink elephant in the mall and would probably feel even stranger than one, in between the all-American-dream-teens. He furiously thought of a reason he could cancel that didn’t leave him castrated by a seething Melanie Farland. Whose brother would happily hold him down for abandoning him with the chicks.
“Doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not here this weekend.”
“Oh.” Relief? Or disappointment? “Where’re you going?” he asked, just as Jensen stopped the car in Jared’s driveway.
“Fairfield, till Sunday night” Jared stepped out.
“What’s in Fairfield?” he asked before he closed the passenger-door. Jensen wound down the window and stuck his head out.
“LARP” he threw out, grinning like a madman, pretty close to the Ledger-Joker, and drove off, waving his silver-adorned hand in the night-air.
Chapter 3