What you got under your shirt (A cog in the murder-machine) 3/5
Title: What you got under your shirt (A cog in the murder-machine)(3/5)
Author: marlowe78
Rating: R for later-occurring violence
Characters: Jared, Jensen, OCs
Word count: This part ~7.200, ~21.000 the whole story.
Warnings: Violence in later chapters. Crude language. Mentions of *gosh* heterosexual relationships and underage kissing.
Summary: Highschool-AU.
Jared Padalecki is one of the Golden Boys of Hilldale. He has all you need to be sixteen and is a nice guy on top. If there wouldn't be the mystery of his former best-friend Jensen, who transformed into some kind of Grim Reaper, his life would be boring in its' perfection.
Title is taken from "Teenagers", by My Chemical Romance
a/n: This one is even longer! O_o Sorry.
Thanks goes, as always, to my beta and my brother, who is my only source for the LARP-stuff I wrote. So if you are a LARPer and you spot terrible, terrible errors, please tell me!
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-*-
Jared was bored. Not that watching pretty girls jump up and down, waving bushy, colorful … things was a real hardship, but his head ached and the show kept repeating itself. If he’d had to listen to one more Katie Perry song he’d go and find something pointy and sharp to puncture his eardrums.
He, Kevin, Mark and Lucas stood in the crowd - not really a huge one either - and tried their best to forget the uncoolness of seeing cheerleaders whirl and twirl. Most of ‘em weren’t bad but not really good, thought Jared in a detached sort of way. Sure, he was morally obligated to support Mel, Sally and Haley and their team, but the truth was that the competition wasn’t that hard to beat. Apart from the girls - and guys, sprinkled through the groups, there were some boys brave enough to withstand teenage-mockery - of Lorneville, the others had stuck to simple songs with a heavy beat to make sure even the last moron could recognize the rhythm. Lorneville’s bouncing folk had impressed Jay and Mike and maybe even Kevin with a smart combination done to Madcon’s Glow.
Jay was pretty sure they’d win. He hadn’t really paid much attention after them, but now Mel and her team was at the start. They’d changed their usual attire to something that was still in their school’s black and white but now the skirts and shirts sported vertical, broad stripes on a white background. They stood still before the music started, backs to the spectators and only when Mel gave a sign with her hand when the noise-level had died to near silence did the music start.
Two beats before John Belushi’s rough voice growled over the speakers and the girls twisted around in perfect synchrony, swinging the wide skirts with their hips.
The warden threw a party in the county jail
The prisonband was there and they began to wail
The joint was jumping and the place began to swing
You should have heard those knocked out jailbirds sing
Let's rock
Even Kevin couldn’t help shaking his leg to the swing that the Blues Brothers magiced into the field. God damn, they were good. The choreography was amazing, lots of jumping-figures and rolls and throws and pompom-waving, smartly timed and glitchlessly executed. The jailhouse attire they wore fit perfectly and the rock ’n’ roll left most spectators moving along in the rhythm. It was fast, funny and perfect. When they finished and stood, chests heaving and faces alight with glee, Jared knew they’d kicked every competition’s ass and a glow of pride warmed his chest.
That was his girlfriend, out there. His!
He took a billion pictures and even when he later went through them there were amazingly many which turned out awesome. He was sure getting good with his Nicon, he allowed to praise himself.
-*-
“Did you see us, did you see us?” Mel kept bouncing around him, even after they’d long won, long been given the trophy, long been praised by the jury. Even now, that they were at the celebration-party. And yes, she deserved this, but it was a bit annoying. Jay’d told her that he had seen it and kissed her and hugged her and bought her chocolate, after all. So why was she still going on about it?
“Sure, sweets. I did. You did wonderful. Kicked their asses” he said, for, like, the hundredths time today. And of course, this time she’d listen to his bored voice and not his actually words and started pouting.
He was used to that. She often acted like this after some great accomplishment. He wasn’t sure if he did similar after a big game they’d won, but he didn’t really feel like analyzing himself anyway. So he let her pout and show him her back and not look at him. He turned to Sally instead, who was a bit silly and giggly, but not really bad or anything.
“So, how’s things with Mark?” He’d expected this to be an easy subject, since everyone knew that they both had a crush on each other so he was surprised by her heavy sigh and sad look across the room, where Mark was leaning on the wall, gesturing and already a bit too deep into his beer.
“Ah well. It’s… complicated” Huh. ‘Complicated’ was usually used as a way to describe ‘not going anywhere’. And Jay’d been so sure these two would be kissing and making out and maybe even fucking by November.
“Complicated? He’s all over you! How complicated can it be?” Girls. Seriously, what the fuck? Sally sighed again and her eyes were a bit sad, if dull.
“I dunno. He’s just… so shy”
“Shy?” Jared bellowed out a laugh. Shy… Mark wasn’t shy, not at all.
“Yes, asshole. Shy. I mean, we were out and to the movies and all, but he never even takes my hand in public or kisses me. I mean, he, like, tried to kiss me, but … I was so on board with that; I swear, Jay, but he gets all weird and red-faced and all. It’s just… I dunno.” She trailed off and Jared looked over again at his pal. Shy. Mark was not as bold as Kevin, but a fucking 747 wasn’t as bold as Kevin, so that didn’t mean anything. Proved to him only that girls were weird, most of the times. Sally probably just fancied some other bloke now, fluttery as she was. He hoped she wouldn’t cheat on Mark, even though they technically weren’t even together. He waved over to the tall teen and grinned when Mark just slipped on the floor and sat on his butt.
He suddenly thought about Jensen and what he was up to. He had planned on googling larp, but never really did. Maybe tonight. He just hoped that it didn’t involve explosives or guns or stuff. Did Jensen go to parties? He’d never seen him at any school-party lately, but he hadn’t really paid attention.
“Heyyyyy….Paddylicko. You a’right there? Hee, oh, I shink there’sh a … a… uh. What?”
“Mark, you’re drunk, man. Come on, don’t breath on my neck, dude.” Jared shoved at his friend. Somehow, the guy’d gotten off the floor and behind him, leaning heavily against his shoulders.
“You should really stop drinking so much, man. Your dad’s gonna have your hide.”
“No’ gonnanana care. Noteven shere… Butd you are, righ’? You care, ‘cause you my … my… my buddy, yeah!” Mark grinned sloppily and hugged him, nearly toppling over the backrest of the couch and onto the floor. Jared laughed and shoved at him some more.
“Yes, man. I’m your buddy. I am. Common, I think you’re ready to go home, ok? Farland! Hey, Kev, I’m getting’ Marky home, all right?”
“Awwww, party’s just getting interestin’! Come on, just dump him at the couch, let him sleep some an’ get’im back lader, ‘kay?” Jared took in his surroundings. There were teenagers slowly getting tipsy, some were making out. Some just munched potato-chips and M&Ms. Music was blaring - Katie Perry - and Mel was god-knew-where. He couldn’t even drink the party better, ‘cause he was designated driver tonight. There wasn’t actually anything that’d keep him here.
He shook his head. “Nope. Go hitch a ride with your sister and tell her to get off her high horse. I’m off. Common, buddy” he hitched Mark’s pliable body over his shoulder “let’s getcha in bed.”
“Cooooooooool” Mark drooled. Yeah. Great. What an excellent night that was.
-*-
“Mark. Hey, Bud. Come on, we’re there.” The big, white house was close to Jensen’s and Jared glanced over to that. Maybe Jens was home already? It wasn’t too late to drop in, was it?
“Hummmm?”
“Mark, common. Off ya go. We’re home”
“Home. Righ’.” Mark lolled his head over and looked at Jared with liquid, drunken eyes. Fantastic. He was gonna be all emo again. Mark was that kind of guy. “Shay?”
“Yeah, man. ’m here. Common, Bud, I get you out, right?”
“Shay, you’r sooooooo good. Such a grrreat fr…friend” he hiccupped. “Wanna tell you. You’re good man. Real good.” Jared had rounded the car and grabbed Mark from the passenger seat, trying to keep him balanced enough to move him to his door. Mark affectionately patted Jared’s chest, getting a bit off-course and slapped his cheek and nose.
“Ouch. Careful. Come, dude, not far.”
“Comein wish me? Nob’dy s’here. Varny-… Venny… Versinage… You know. Exshibi… Exhibly…”
“Stop,” Jared laughed “I get ya. Don’t break your tongue, man.” Mark gave him a happy smile and vomited on his front-porch. On Jared’s shoes.
“AW, man! Fuck, that’s… Ugh, Mark…” He really wanted to drop him but couldn’t really bring himself to let his friend fall into his own recycled Pizza. Grossed-out, he dug into Mark’s pockets to get out the keys.
“Dude, stop struggling. Need the keys, man.”
“Lemme, lemme. S’fine, gottit. S’fine. S’fine.”
“Dude, you are so wasted” Jay sighed and opened the door. “Hello?” he called, even though the car wasn’t in the driveway. “Man, you reek. Yak. Come, I (I’ll) get ya to bed.”
After dumping Mark in his room, he dropped the keys on the counter and left. For a minute, he thought again about going to Jensen but then his wet socks reminded him that there were more important things to do. Or, well, not more important but more immediately pressing matters. Like cleaning his shoes and feet.
Grumpy, he slipped out of the sneakers, rolled his socks off with care and drove home barefoot. It was too late to switch on the computer and he just dropped on his bed and fell asleep.
-*-
Sunday started boring, got better over midday and ended with real fun.
After breakfast at eleven - the whole Padalecki family believed wholeheartedly in the ‘Sunday is the day of rest’-quotes from the Bible and dogmatically followed that holy rule - they decided that this rainy, sucky day could only be improved by a visit of The Aqua-Splash. Jared agreed and didn’t even mind his bratty sister climbing all over him in the warm water or stealing his rubber-ring for the Giant Slide. While his parents spent lazy hours in the hot tub and under the solarium, only moving for lunch in the cafeteria and a short visit in the sauna, Jay and Meg slid, slippered and swam through tunnels, fake canyons and wild-water chutes. After their skin’d pruned so much that they were worried of never getting it smooth again, they went to Pizza Hut and ate so much that each and every calorie they’d burned that day was back on them.
Full and satisfied, Jay went to bed and only fleetingly cursed himself for not even thinking about Jensen and impending doom. He was sure, though, that Jens wouldn’t start shooting tomorrow.
-*-
He didn’t. Instead, Jensen walked into the hall on Monday with a long - Jared did a double-take, along with Kevin and Lucas - skirt and sporting a black eye. Not the kohl-kind either, but a full-on shiner in vivid red-blue-blackish purple.
“Holy fuck! What’s gotten into Freak-o now?” Though he hated to admit it, Kevin pretty much summoned up Jared’s thoughts. “He crossdressing now? What’s next, he’s gonna wear a bra?”
“Shuddup, Kev. Hey, Jensen!” He ran over, a bit scared that he’d somehow done something wrong, or that the weekend had messed Jens up even more. Once again, his friend didn’t hear him over the music in his ears, but he noticed him coming and took the buds out.
“Jay? Whassup?”
“What’s up? Man, you look…” he took in the skirt. It was black denim, reached to his ankles and had buckles and snaps and chains and stuff on it. It was the least-girly skirt Jay’d ever seen. “Uh… “ he looked up into the expectant gaze - had Jensen always had green eyes? - and stuttered “Hurt. Uh, I mean, your eye?”
“Oh, that. Yeah, ran into a fist. Literally.” Jensen grinned. “Cool, huh?”
“Cool? Uh… yeah. Cool.” He couldn’t think of anything more to that and so he just stood and watched Jensen put his music back on and wave and leave. He stood a while until a caring friend grabbed him and dragged him off to class.
What the Hell?
Was Jensen being abused? No, couldn’t be. You don’t go around all happy and proud if your parents clock you one. Also, by whom? Mrs. Ackles was nearly a head shorter than her son and he couldn’t imagine her not raising hell if somebody hit her boy. So where did that shiner come from? Did he fight? Or maybe he was beaten up, for looking weird?
He’d find out. He could take him back in his car after school, their schedules ended at the same time today, he checked.
For now, though, Jared let himself be distracted by mocking Mark over his hangover and trying to placate Mel, who was still miffed about last night.
-*-
“Sorry, guys. I have to run.” He told his teammates, slapped Oliver on the back, fist-bumped Joe and rushed away. He’d spotted Jensen leaving the building, which had been the main purpose for staying so long chatting with his mates. Not that he didn’t enjoy that, the guys were pretty cool. But they’d finished practice early today and the Arts and Drama-class had still been busy when he’d showered.
“Hey, Jens!”
“Jay? What, are you stalking me?” Jared hoped his embarrassment could be taken as flush from the exercise.
“No, man. Don’t flatter yourself. I just… got the car back. Thought you might wanna catcha ride?”
“Uh…” Jensen looked uncertain, then shrugged. “Sure, why not.”
“Awesome! Come on, then.”
-*-
They were driving; a different route than they’d take if they’d walked. The shortcuts weren’t for driving; they had to go around to avoid some one-way streets. Jared kept scrunching his forehead, trying to catch the funny scent he kept noticing. Surreptitiously he tried to take a whiff of his clothes and under his armpits, pretty sure it wasn’t him. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Dude, do you smell that?” He wasn’t prepared for the glare he got. “What?”
“That’s me!”
“Uh…oh. Uh… sure. Sorry. Uh… what’s it?”
“Patchouli.”
“Oh. That’s… uh, a great smell.” Holy, he reeked like his grandma’s closet.
“Shut up. If it bothers you, just let me out here!” Jensen glared at him some more.
“Nonono!” Jared tried to placate. “No, it’s just… I never noticed, ya know? I mean… did you smell like it Friday?”
Jensen shook his head. “No. Just in school.”
“Huh” They kept silent for a while.
“So, how’d this cheerleader-stuff go?” It was Jensen, this time, who broke the silence.
“Oh, Mel won. And her team, of course.”
“Good. Congrats”
“Yeah. Thanks.” This was ridiculous. This felt like talking to his cousin Malcolm, a boring tax-accountant who seemed to have no idea what to do with Jay or Megan. Jared decided to just go with the flow, see where it took them. “She’s pissed at me for something, but dude, I have no clue about what. What about your weekend. How was Fairfield?”
“Awesome! Hey, if you wanna drop me off, you have to turn left here.” Jared took the turn just about, nearly knocking a biker from his bike. “Dude! No need to kill people!” Jared winced a bit at the choice of words.
“Sorry.” He opened the window, stuck his head out. “Sorry!” he yelled to the biker, who flipped him off.
“What’s larking anyway?”
“LARPing. L. A. R. P. Life action role play.”
Jared’s eyebrows rose to his hair. “Dude, seriously? You play fairy and dragons and that sh… stuff?”
“Shut up” Jensen crossed his arms over his chest, slid deeper in the seat. And Jared was pretty sure that mocking a potential killer’s choice of hobby was so not cool.
“Sorry. It’s just… Well, I ‘s surprised. A bit.”
“Man, stuff it. You go to your girlfriend’s hoola-group and let me do what I wanna. I don’t give a shit anyway.” And with that, Jensen grabbed the door-handle and jumped out when the car had to stop at a red light.
“Jensen! Fuck!” Jared hit the wheel in exasperation, drove to the side and ran after his friend, grabbed his shoulder. He had done this before, should have known what to expect. But he didn’t, and Jared landed on his back on the sidewalk, dizzily staring into the clouds above.
“Jesses - Jared, sorry! I didn’t… sorry. You ok?” In his line of vision, one cloud looked deceptively like a Goth with one wide, black-framed eye and a big bruise covering the other.
“Uh…ouch?” He accepted the hand that pulled him to his feet and shook his head. Nothing broken, nothing dented - except his pride. Seemed to become a common experience around Jensen. “Wow. What was that?”
“Aikido. Sorry. It tends to get reflexive when I’m pissed. Sanjy says I’ve gotta watch it. You ok?”
“Yeah, fine. No, it’s ok. Look, I’m sorry. I don’t really know anything ‘bout larpsing”
“Larping”
“Uh…yeah. So… Explain?”
“Hum. Well… I could show you. It’s easier. Come on.”
-*-
Right. LARPing - capital letters, Jens had explained, the fantasy-version - is kinda dressing up as knights and bashing on fellow-LARPers with swords and throw balls at them, scream curses - ‘real’ ones, not just swearing, though Jensen had said that there was definitely a lot of cussing involved - and try to conquer or defend a treasure, a fort, a king or queen or a lake. Whatever seemed worthy of defending. There were Masters who observed the rules, all kinds of weird creatures that had to behave according to their ‘nature’ and you could gain points and scores and maybe, if you were lucky, a page could one day become a knight. If he survived that long, because apparently you could die in ‘the field’ anytime.
Jensen was hoping to get more score-points for one day being able to do real sorcery - he’d explained that he was a dark elf and even though Jared had no clue what he was talking about, he could easily imagine his friend in a robe, throwing balls that were marked with runes at other players. Which was how he got his black eye: someone threw a ball while Jens was sneaking up on him and his fist smacked into Jensen's face on the backswing. Ouch, but Jensen was oddly proud of his shiner.
Jared was holding one of them in his hand now. It was one of those soft tennis-balls, painted dark and had white marks - runes - on it. Pretty simple. He was sitting on Jensen’s bed, taking in the room while Jens was downstairs, trying to weasel some cookies from his mom.
The room had changed and hadn’t at the same time. It was still painted light-blue, probably had been that color since Jens was born, but instead of the racing-cars and stuffed toys from the last time Jay had been here, there were skulls on the cupboard and fiery dragons hung from the ceiling. The huge amount of books was still as large as Jared’s, but the free walls were covered in Metal-group posters, mainly Metallica and Iron Maiden, but some Marilyn Manson and something that Jared had never heard of but looked creepy and dark were among them. It gave the room a dark tinge, seemed to suck the light out right out of it.
He went to the boards, checking out the books. Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit - oh, The Silmarillon! Cool.
He kept looking and grinned when he realized that Jens was still a Pratchett-fan, like himself, and also had some Gaiman in his reading-stock. Then there were names Jay’d never really heard of, like Glen Cook or Robert Crais. He pulled a thick book out, with a reddish cover. Huh. A Game of Thrones. He turned it around, read the back. Ah. This was the ‘Song of Ice and Fire’-verse Kevin had talked about. Huh. Maybe he could borrow it? Jared put it back and returned to taking in Jensen’s room.
On the closet hung a robe, streaked with dirt. Underneath stood boots, less buckle-loaded than the ones for school, but mud-caked, placed on old newspapers. Leather-pants, just as dirty, hung over a chair. Everything smelled of sweat, mud and smoke. Jens’ ‘school-boots’ stood in another corner and Jay walked over, curious to see how the hell you buckled them - oh. The laces and buckles just stayed closed; there was a zipper on the inner side of the boots. Sneaky!
Jared wandered around some more and picked up one of the swords that leaned against the wall. They were clean, looked well-cared for, and definitely nothing to run amok with. Not if you didn’t want to kill people by having them laugh themselves to death.
The swords, if you could actually call them that, were made of a long, thin core - Jay couldn’t find out what it was - surrounded by firm foam, formed like… well, like a blade, painted gray-ish brown with something that felt suspiciously like latex. The whole thing was light and easy to swing, and Jared made some moves just as Jensen stepped in.
“Hey, couldn’t get any cookies. Mom said you can eat dinner here, if ya wanna, but no cookies before a real meal” Jensen burst back in, pitching his voice high and imitating his mother’s lecturing tone. He gripped a different sword and held it up.
“Try it. It’s easy, really.” Jared looked a bit doubtful, but attacked anyway. For a while, the boys batted the sword together, getting more and more aggressive as the adrenaline and combative feelings in them grew. Suddenly, Jensen feinted right and slapped the blade against Jared’s back with force. It hurt much more than foam should, at least in Jared’s opinion, and he countered hard.
When they were sitting on the bed, panting and wincing in pain, Jay looked up. “Dude, this LARP-stuff sounds so dumb - but I think I’d love to come with one day.”
“Why not? There’s usually place enough for NPCs - Non-Player-Characters. What you’d call ‘extras’ for movies.”
Jared grinned. Yeah, not really cool, and he might have a secret agenda, trying to connect with Jensen and all. But still, this? Sounded actually loads of fun.
It also didn’t sound like Jensen was a loaner. Not really. LARPing was something you did in groups, and Jens had gone on and on about guys named Billy and Orin and a chick named Jaimie, with whom Jensen was apparently playing D&D every Thursday.
This was getting more and more confusing for Jay. Aikido, LARP… and yeah, Jens drew comics all the time in school and listened to dark music. But when he was sitting on his bed, Izzy’s head on his thighs, scratching his dog’s nose and talking animatedly about his group of friends… Jared started to doubt himself.
Maybe the kid in the chat room wasn’t actually trying to kill somebody? There were lotsa guys trying to mess with others, right? Maybe… maybe it wasn’t Jensen? He tried to think about something the guy had said, something that he could use to verify his suspicions.
“So, uh… you use that thing for games?” he pointed at the computer on the cluttered desk.
“Yeah, sometimes.” Jensen shrugged.
“Whatcha play?”
“Hmmm. WoW, and some shooter-games. Counter-Strike and of course Resident Evil.”
“Oh. Any good?” So far, the chatter had the same games on his profile, but that didn’t mean anything, right?
“Naa. Too impatient. I mean, Counter Strike is cool and all, and blasting stuff is pretty awesome, after school. But I don’t play much. Mom doesn’t really like it.”
Jared swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. Nearly word-for-word what that guy online had written. Too impatient, mother doesn’t like it. Blasting stuff after school, to vent some anger, which didn’t help anymore. He scratched his neck and his eyes fell on the clock made out of grinning skulls on the wall.
“Oh, damn. Need to get home. Mom needs the car tonight. I nearly forgot. I’m sorry” he stood and tried to ignore the slightly confused and disappointed look Jensen threw him.
“Na, ‘s fine. See ya tomorrow, right?”
“Sure” Jared grabbed his car-keys and left. “Chemistry, right?”
“Yupp. And Home Economics.”
“Ohhh, right. Who wouldn’t want to cook eggs after working with sulfur, right?” they grinned and Jared left, yelling “Bye” into the kitchen on his way out. He wasn’t sure if he heard a reply, the door closed fast behind him.
He didn’t really want to leave so soon, it had been fun. And if the scents from downstairs had been any indication, there would have been something delicious for dinner tonight. But he hadn’t lied. His mom needed the car.
Jay’d check online tonight, he resolved. There might be more clues and maybe a hint how to convince Jensen to think about his plans. Maybe they hadn’t been plans at all, just some rambling. Could be, right?
-*-
Friday, third week after he’d come up with his plan to stop Jensen from going berserk, Jared was anxious. After the last failed attempts at catching Jensen and either driving or walking together, he had surrendered and just picked him up along the way, mostly shortly before his friend reached the school by himself. But Jay was hopeful that it was the gesture that counted. Jensen at least seemed fine and happy to see him, no matter when that was.
At first, Jared had planned to spend any possible moment with Jens, in the cafeteria, in the hall, between classes.
That hadn’t really worked, though. For once, Jared’s other friends’d demanded their pound of him and he didn’t really want to give them up - they were friends, dammit! Mel had finally gotten over her bitch-fest and Jay was pretty sure it had been the famous ‘time of the month’ and not his fault. She was once again kissing and talking with him and he admitted to himself that he’d kinda’d missed her - even if it was only for a few days. Now everything was peachy between them, and he tried to spend as much time with her as he did with Jens.
Kevin was still loud and demanding and first he’d kept insulting Jensen until Jay had put an end to it. Firmly, so there’d be no misunderstanding. Steven and Mark had looked a bit astonished at his declaration that Jensen was his friend and therefore off-limits for mockery, and please, could they maybe keep it down when he’d invite Jens to their table. But the girls had only giggled and nodded so the guys’d ducked their heads and gone with the flow.
If Jared had been someone else, he might have marveled about the power a girl could have over a guy, but he wasn’t, so he was just glad that his friends didn’t drive his other friend into a killing-spree. Mark and Lucas had their own problems anyway, with one girlfriend who had to divide her weekends and sometimes even weeks between her dad and her mom and one… well, and Sally.
Sally had broken up with Mark. Jared didn’t really know all about it, just that Mel told him that Sally’d told her that Mark had been too weird and Sally had decided to maybe find someone else.
Not that Jared minded much. Sally had been a chatterbox and pretty superfluous, if anyone was interested in his opinion. Mark seemed to take it a bit hard, but his game had been as good as ever and even though Jay’d really planned to talk to him about it, Kev had said Mark was fine. In fact, Farland had been pretty specific as to what ‘fine’ included: Sheila Rose Himmelberg and her ‘assets’. Everyone knew Sheila banged everything that wasn’t fast enough to duck, so Jared was glad he’d stopped listening after her name was mentioned.
Jay’d tried to fuse his friends together. After all, they were all of the same age, right? Shouldn’t have been too hard.
Problem that had arisen, though? After one meal with Jay’s friends, Jensen had declined any more offers to sit with them. He claimed it was too loud for him and Jared wasn’t sure if that was the true reason or if the constant giggles from Mel, Molly and Haley and the infrequent heavy blushes that spread over Molly’s face whenever she looked at Jens had made him too awkward.
So, that was the second problem with the ‘spend all your waking moments with Jensen’-plan: Jensen seemed to like his loneliness.
Was this bad? Jared wasn’t sure, because really, could anyone be homicidal because he himself refused company when it was freely offered? Jay didn’t think so. Still, he tried to give his friend some attention; at least once a break he’d saunter over, sit next to him and peek at his drawings, which were pretty damn cool, if Jay was any judge.
Harsh lines, bare-chested girls with swords and knights in full armor, but mostly it was dragons. Fire-breathing, flying, attacking, virgin-chewing, claw-wielding, huge-ass dragons. They decorated Jensen’s college-blocks, his notebook, his work-sheets. And they all looked so alive and so full of anger and fury that Jay had to suppress a shiver, looking at some of ‘em.
Did they mean something? Or was it the same thing that had Haley drawing horses on every flat surface she could find? Jared couldn’t tell, and he started to believe that maybe he was in over his head.
The chatroom-guy - Jensen? - had been quiet the last week. Nothing at all, and when he’d asked Miguel if he’d heard something from somewhere else, his friend hadn’t been able to help. Jared felt like he was standing on a landslide, his feet being slowly but inevitably dragged downhill while his upper body tried to keep the balance.
Today, though, he wanted to and dreaded to talk to Jens. Sure, it all was pretty much a ruse to keep Jensen from killing, but he could admit to himself that the new-found bond he had with his old friend was something good. He liked spending time with Jens. Liked watching M*A*S*H and BSG, liked talking about nothing and everything. He loved to hear what Jensen thought about recent topics that didn’t circle around American Idol or basketball and sports. He even kinda liked hanging out with him and getting suspicious looks and sometimes even open disgust from total strangers. It seemed that Jens either liked the evil glances he evoked or he didn’t even see them. Instead, he usually did everything to prove his image wrong, picking up trash that wasn’t from him, tipping street-musicians, vacating seats for elderly people and helping mothers getting the pram into the bus. He especially loved that one. Both boys had started to live for the moment you could read the mother’s shock in her face when she found out that the dark, dangerous individual wasn’t trying to steal her baby but instead help her. Most women were completely thrown, their world turned upside down so much that they didn’t know how to react. Jared usually took a picture of those faces. They were priceless.
Jens was interesting, smart and had a startlingly biting sense of humor. Ok, his music kinda sucked, but Jared kept a straight face assuring Mel that no, really, Katie Perry was an awesome musician, so he was pretty sure his ears could tolerate bass-heavy screaming.
And Jensen was considerate enough to not play it too often, usually only when they played PS3. Jay didn’t even have to ask for mercy, music-wise.
It was no hardship to spend time with Jensen. But he dreaded it nonetheless.
Today was Friday, and he had a game to play. He’d nearly forgotten, even though he’d had to go to training basically every afternoon, had in fact complained to Jensen a lot about that. Fuck.
Problem was that he and Jens’d made plans for the weekend. He’d said he’d go on one of the LARPs with him, a small one, but he’d been looking forward. How he could just forget his game against Clarkstown was beyond him. He’d been hearing about it from his friends and his coach and his girlfriend, who showed him her moves for the cheerleading her team was preparing.
Shit. Shitshitshit-double-shit.
“Hey, Jay.”
“Gah - FUCK” He accidentally pressed the horn when Jensen opened the passenger-door and climbed in, like he often did when they met at the light at Fleeway-and-Grand-Street. “Fuck, man. I think my heart stopped beating for a second.”
Jensen chuckled, not even pitying him a minute. “Dude, why so jumpy? You been up in pink-frilly-lala-girlfriend-land again?”
Jared swallowed. “Yeah. Somethin’ like it.”
He drove on, graciously restraining from raising a finger at the guy behind him in the Honda Accord who’d been flashing his lights for a while now.
“So? Whassup?”
“Uh… Jens… I kinda. I think I messed up”
“Oh? How?”
“Well, I swear, I have no clue how it coulda happened, but I… I can’t go with you Saturday.” Jared refused to meet Jensen’s eyes, didn’t want to see the hurt in them.
“Why?” Jensen sounded pretty calm. Still.
“I…I forgot. We have a game. Clarkstown?”
“Oh. Right, that’s Saturday. Huh.” Now Jay did glance over. Just a peek. Jensen sat still, looked through the windshield and didn’t really show much. His face, still hidden behind layers of kohl, didn’t give much away on a good day, but now he was practically blank. Just when Jay decided to say something, a frown and then an angry glare crossed his friend’s face, aimed to something on the street apparently but could have been meant for Jay just as well.
Jared looked out, didn’t see much to glare at except some teachers and some of the Hummingbirds.
“Jens?” Jensen startled a bit, like being woken from a dream.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Naw, it’s fine. Maybe I can get a refund of the payment. Think there’ll be tickets for the game still?”
“I dunno. Probably.” He glanced over when they exited the car, trying to see something certain in Jensen’s face when he locked the doors. But he couldn’t spot anything. “Ok. Well, we could always go next time, ok?”
“Sure. No prob.”
“What about tonight, though? Any plans?”
“Jay, I toldya. I have Aikido on Fridays now. You complained two times about it already” this time, it was clear exasperation in Jensen’s voice and face.
“Right, right. Ok… uh. See ya this afternoon, then? Oh, no, right. You go to your kickboxing straight after, I know that!”
Jensen grinned. “Dude, you’re horrible with plans.” He turned and walked in the direction if his classroom, turning around and walking backwards a second to yell “And it’s aikido, assmunch!”
-*-
Jared was pretty sure he’d be fretting about Jensen’s attitude the whole Friday, but truth was, he was too busy. Mrs. Allen had them doing a surprise-quiz, which needed bitching over afterwards, Mr. Hayami yelled at Jared and Kevin because they were bitching - during Spanish, which was probably why he’d used some pretty strong Spanish words that Jay hadn’t previously known and had them both staying longer to clean the classroom. When they’d finally done that to his satisfaction, the cafeteria only had some chewy roles with cheese left and some soggy blades of lettuce. After school, Coach Cocker chewed Jay and Mark out for being somewhere ‘over the pretty, pretty rainbows’ and not in the game where they were desperately needed - his words - and Mark chewed Jay out for standing on his toe. Seriously, what was wrong with that dude? You should think finally getting laid would mellow him up some, but noooo. Marky Mark was still a prickly ass. It wasn’t really surprising that, when Jay told him so, Mark clocked him one.
Cocker was fuming at them after training, calling their parents - well, Jared’s parents because lucky for Mark, his family was off visiting grandma - and having them run laps until they nearly collapsed. Then the coach called the family again and had them picked up. Jared’s mom drove both of them home, being silent and glaring at them through the mirror, because ‘if you behaved like kindergarteners, you don’t get to ride in the front, and be glad I don’t make you sit on the kiddy-seats!’
Great day.
-*-
The game had sucked. Well, honestly, the game had been ok, but Jared had sucked and Mark had sucked and Kevin wasn’t that good a player on a regular day and Lucas and the rest of the team hadn’t been able to rescue the poor performance. Even the cheerleaders had been subdued in their cheering.
Shit.
After they got their asses handed to them by Cocker - and rightly so after a 48:16 loss - Jay had been bitchy, moody and sullen for the rest of the evening. His dad had been nice and all but he’d brooded in his room, sure that the world was ending and he’d never be allowed to play ball ever again.
That didn’t happen, of course. Instead, the coach called on Sunday morning, ordering Jared to school for extra-practice. He wasn’t alone, Mark and some of the team were with him, but he knew Cocker had him doing more than the others and he hated him for it.
Exhausted like never before, he got home, dropped on the couch and slept until dinner. His parents had been nice enough to let him rest and now he was feeling riled-up and moody and wide-awake.
After he’d shoved Megan, his dad grabbed him and took him out, running with him in the park. He hated his dad, even more than Coach Cocker.
“Jared, what’s up with you?” Gerald asked when they stopped to catch a breather. “I know you didn’t play like you can, yesterday, and it was… well, it was a pretty horrible game, honestly. But that’s no reason to be that much of an ass towards us, and certainly not to your sister. Is everything alright? Did you have a fight with Mel?”
“No” Jay sulked.
“That’s not good enough, buster. We can run some more, if you want?” It was a challenge, and Jared felt just bratty enough to take it on, but he couldn’t even walk without huffing. So he hung his head and shrugged, the usual answer any grownup will get from his kid during the time-span between thirteen and twenty. He heard his dad sigh and felt like an ass. But he couldn’t even say what was wrong with him to himself, certainly not to his dad.
It wasn’t just Jensen. He liked Jensen, more than he’d ever really remembered. His friend was much more witty and fun to hang out with than Kevin and Mark and Lucas. And maybe that was it? He felt his friends slip away from him, like Jensen had done before. Only this time, he noticed it and it hurt.
Jay watched his teammates thinking about girls, sex and girls, driving and drinking legally. They played basketball, swam and talked big, just like they’d always done. But now he felt apart, detached. He felt closer to Jensen than he ever did before, and this was so fucked-up because he believed his friend was capable of killing people and the whole scheme had been just that - a scheme. He’d wanted to pretend to be Jens’ friend - no, not true, he really wanted to be Jens’ friend, just not to the extend it was now.
Jay felt ripped apart. What if he couldn’t prevent him running amok? What if all was for nothing? If Jensen didn’t consider their friendship worth abandoning his plans - what if Jensen was simply crazy? Maybe Jay wasn’t helping at all?
Truth was, he knew he was betraying his friend by not being honest, and every day made it worse. Every minute they spent together made him feel more like crap, and he wanted to talk to the one person he knew would listen, except that that one person was Jensen himself. Which was why he’d just run off after the game, even though he’d seen Jensen sitting in the crowd and come down after to cheer him up.
And that he’d turned away and pretended to not see him made him feel like the dog-shit under his soles.
“I don’t really know, Dad. I swear.”
A heavy sigh. “Okay. But Jay?” Jared looked up “If there ever is something you need to talk about, please… remember that me and your mom, we will listen. We might not like it, we might not agree. We might yell at you, but we will listen. And we are your parents: you don’t ever doubt that we love you. Hear me?”
Jared blushed “I know, dad”
“Good. Now, let’s get home. I feel like my own father right now. Shower and bed, it’s already ten and there’s school tomorrow.”
Back home, Jay turned on his computer. He’d check for messages after the shower, only once. He didn’t want to, really, but he’d been a dick yesterday and maybe Jens wanted to talk about it. He could send a message, tell him he was sorry. Maybe his friend would get it before school.
When he came back from the bathroom, wet and warm and sleepy, he only wanted his bed. Still, he opened his mail-account, just to be sure. Wouldn’t even take a second, right?
Nothing from Jens, but Mig had sent an e-mail.
”Dude! Check that chatroom! The crazy is on again!”
With a heartbeat double its usual speed, he clicked on the bookmarked chatroom. Found ‘ace-blue’ right away, not difficult with the tons of exclamation-marks behind his posts. Paling, Jay read things like ‘kill’, ‘show ‘em’, ‘as many as I can’. And the word that kept burning itself into his eyeballs was ‘tomorrow’.
When he looked at his clock, at nearly two, he was hyper and scared and twisted inside like he’d never been. This was dangerous, madness. He’d tried to reason with the guy - Jensen - without exposing his identity. He’d followed as much as he could of the chat’s history, trying to find the trigger. The guy - Jensen - kept talking about Saturday, how everything was wrong, how much Saturday had taken the cake to every insult, every hurt, every time he’d been overlooked, ignored. How the whole week had been horrible but it’d been Saturday that did it, that showed him the truth. And that he was gonna end everything tomorrow.
Jared leaned back in his chair, ran a hand through his damp hair. He’d call Bill, he resolved. Or maybe Jensen. Yes, he’d do that. He’d go and tell his dad, his mom, they’d know what to do. They’d…
Jared fell asleep on his keyboard at a quarter to three and didn’t wake until his sister slammed the bathroom-door at half eight the next morning.
Part 4
Author: marlowe78
Rating: R for later-occurring violence
Characters: Jared, Jensen, OCs
Word count: This part ~7.200, ~21.000 the whole story.
Warnings: Violence in later chapters. Crude language. Mentions of *gosh* heterosexual relationships and underage kissing.
Summary: Highschool-AU.
Jared Padalecki is one of the Golden Boys of Hilldale. He has all you need to be sixteen and is a nice guy on top. If there wouldn't be the mystery of his former best-friend Jensen, who transformed into some kind of Grim Reaper, his life would be boring in its' perfection.
Title is taken from "Teenagers", by My Chemical Romance
a/n: This one is even longer! O_o Sorry.
Thanks goes, as always, to my beta and my brother, who is my only source for the LARP-stuff I wrote. So if you are a LARPer and you spot terrible, terrible errors, please tell me!
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-*-
Jared was bored. Not that watching pretty girls jump up and down, waving bushy, colorful … things was a real hardship, but his head ached and the show kept repeating itself. If he’d had to listen to one more Katie Perry song he’d go and find something pointy and sharp to puncture his eardrums.
He, Kevin, Mark and Lucas stood in the crowd - not really a huge one either - and tried their best to forget the uncoolness of seeing cheerleaders whirl and twirl. Most of ‘em weren’t bad but not really good, thought Jared in a detached sort of way. Sure, he was morally obligated to support Mel, Sally and Haley and their team, but the truth was that the competition wasn’t that hard to beat. Apart from the girls - and guys, sprinkled through the groups, there were some boys brave enough to withstand teenage-mockery - of Lorneville, the others had stuck to simple songs with a heavy beat to make sure even the last moron could recognize the rhythm. Lorneville’s bouncing folk had impressed Jay and Mike and maybe even Kevin with a smart combination done to Madcon’s Glow.
Jay was pretty sure they’d win. He hadn’t really paid much attention after them, but now Mel and her team was at the start. They’d changed their usual attire to something that was still in their school’s black and white but now the skirts and shirts sported vertical, broad stripes on a white background. They stood still before the music started, backs to the spectators and only when Mel gave a sign with her hand when the noise-level had died to near silence did the music start.
Two beats before John Belushi’s rough voice growled over the speakers and the girls twisted around in perfect synchrony, swinging the wide skirts with their hips.
The warden threw a party in the county jail
The prisonband was there and they began to wail
The joint was jumping and the place began to swing
You should have heard those knocked out jailbirds sing
Let's rock
Even Kevin couldn’t help shaking his leg to the swing that the Blues Brothers magiced into the field. God damn, they were good. The choreography was amazing, lots of jumping-figures and rolls and throws and pompom-waving, smartly timed and glitchlessly executed. The jailhouse attire they wore fit perfectly and the rock ’n’ roll left most spectators moving along in the rhythm. It was fast, funny and perfect. When they finished and stood, chests heaving and faces alight with glee, Jared knew they’d kicked every competition’s ass and a glow of pride warmed his chest.
That was his girlfriend, out there. His!
He took a billion pictures and even when he later went through them there were amazingly many which turned out awesome. He was sure getting good with his Nicon, he allowed to praise himself.
-*-
“Did you see us, did you see us?” Mel kept bouncing around him, even after they’d long won, long been given the trophy, long been praised by the jury. Even now, that they were at the celebration-party. And yes, she deserved this, but it was a bit annoying. Jay’d told her that he had seen it and kissed her and hugged her and bought her chocolate, after all. So why was she still going on about it?
“Sure, sweets. I did. You did wonderful. Kicked their asses” he said, for, like, the hundredths time today. And of course, this time she’d listen to his bored voice and not his actually words and started pouting.
He was used to that. She often acted like this after some great accomplishment. He wasn’t sure if he did similar after a big game they’d won, but he didn’t really feel like analyzing himself anyway. So he let her pout and show him her back and not look at him. He turned to Sally instead, who was a bit silly and giggly, but not really bad or anything.
“So, how’s things with Mark?” He’d expected this to be an easy subject, since everyone knew that they both had a crush on each other so he was surprised by her heavy sigh and sad look across the room, where Mark was leaning on the wall, gesturing and already a bit too deep into his beer.
“Ah well. It’s… complicated” Huh. ‘Complicated’ was usually used as a way to describe ‘not going anywhere’. And Jay’d been so sure these two would be kissing and making out and maybe even fucking by November.
“Complicated? He’s all over you! How complicated can it be?” Girls. Seriously, what the fuck? Sally sighed again and her eyes were a bit sad, if dull.
“I dunno. He’s just… so shy”
“Shy?” Jared bellowed out a laugh. Shy… Mark wasn’t shy, not at all.
“Yes, asshole. Shy. I mean, we were out and to the movies and all, but he never even takes my hand in public or kisses me. I mean, he, like, tried to kiss me, but … I was so on board with that; I swear, Jay, but he gets all weird and red-faced and all. It’s just… I dunno.” She trailed off and Jared looked over again at his pal. Shy. Mark was not as bold as Kevin, but a fucking 747 wasn’t as bold as Kevin, so that didn’t mean anything. Proved to him only that girls were weird, most of the times. Sally probably just fancied some other bloke now, fluttery as she was. He hoped she wouldn’t cheat on Mark, even though they technically weren’t even together. He waved over to the tall teen and grinned when Mark just slipped on the floor and sat on his butt.
He suddenly thought about Jensen and what he was up to. He had planned on googling larp, but never really did. Maybe tonight. He just hoped that it didn’t involve explosives or guns or stuff. Did Jensen go to parties? He’d never seen him at any school-party lately, but he hadn’t really paid attention.
“Heyyyyy….Paddylicko. You a’right there? Hee, oh, I shink there’sh a … a… uh. What?”
“Mark, you’re drunk, man. Come on, don’t breath on my neck, dude.” Jared shoved at his friend. Somehow, the guy’d gotten off the floor and behind him, leaning heavily against his shoulders.
“You should really stop drinking so much, man. Your dad’s gonna have your hide.”
“No’ gonnanana care. Noteven shere… Butd you are, righ’? You care, ‘cause you my … my… my buddy, yeah!” Mark grinned sloppily and hugged him, nearly toppling over the backrest of the couch and onto the floor. Jared laughed and shoved at him some more.
“Yes, man. I’m your buddy. I am. Common, I think you’re ready to go home, ok? Farland! Hey, Kev, I’m getting’ Marky home, all right?”
“Awwww, party’s just getting interestin’! Come on, just dump him at the couch, let him sleep some an’ get’im back lader, ‘kay?” Jared took in his surroundings. There were teenagers slowly getting tipsy, some were making out. Some just munched potato-chips and M&Ms. Music was blaring - Katie Perry - and Mel was god-knew-where. He couldn’t even drink the party better, ‘cause he was designated driver tonight. There wasn’t actually anything that’d keep him here.
He shook his head. “Nope. Go hitch a ride with your sister and tell her to get off her high horse. I’m off. Common, buddy” he hitched Mark’s pliable body over his shoulder “let’s getcha in bed.”
“Cooooooooool” Mark drooled. Yeah. Great. What an excellent night that was.
-*-
“Mark. Hey, Bud. Come on, we’re there.” The big, white house was close to Jensen’s and Jared glanced over to that. Maybe Jens was home already? It wasn’t too late to drop in, was it?
“Hummmm?”
“Mark, common. Off ya go. We’re home”
“Home. Righ’.” Mark lolled his head over and looked at Jared with liquid, drunken eyes. Fantastic. He was gonna be all emo again. Mark was that kind of guy. “Shay?”
“Yeah, man. ’m here. Common, Bud, I get you out, right?”
“Shay, you’r sooooooo good. Such a grrreat fr…friend” he hiccupped. “Wanna tell you. You’re good man. Real good.” Jared had rounded the car and grabbed Mark from the passenger seat, trying to keep him balanced enough to move him to his door. Mark affectionately patted Jared’s chest, getting a bit off-course and slapped his cheek and nose.
“Ouch. Careful. Come, dude, not far.”
“Comein wish me? Nob’dy s’here. Varny-… Venny… Versinage… You know. Exshibi… Exhibly…”
“Stop,” Jared laughed “I get ya. Don’t break your tongue, man.” Mark gave him a happy smile and vomited on his front-porch. On Jared’s shoes.
“AW, man! Fuck, that’s… Ugh, Mark…” He really wanted to drop him but couldn’t really bring himself to let his friend fall into his own recycled Pizza. Grossed-out, he dug into Mark’s pockets to get out the keys.
“Dude, stop struggling. Need the keys, man.”
“Lemme, lemme. S’fine, gottit. S’fine. S’fine.”
“Dude, you are so wasted” Jay sighed and opened the door. “Hello?” he called, even though the car wasn’t in the driveway. “Man, you reek. Yak. Come, I (I’ll) get ya to bed.”
After dumping Mark in his room, he dropped the keys on the counter and left. For a minute, he thought again about going to Jensen but then his wet socks reminded him that there were more important things to do. Or, well, not more important but more immediately pressing matters. Like cleaning his shoes and feet.
Grumpy, he slipped out of the sneakers, rolled his socks off with care and drove home barefoot. It was too late to switch on the computer and he just dropped on his bed and fell asleep.
-*-
Sunday started boring, got better over midday and ended with real fun.
After breakfast at eleven - the whole Padalecki family believed wholeheartedly in the ‘Sunday is the day of rest’-quotes from the Bible and dogmatically followed that holy rule - they decided that this rainy, sucky day could only be improved by a visit of The Aqua-Splash. Jared agreed and didn’t even mind his bratty sister climbing all over him in the warm water or stealing his rubber-ring for the Giant Slide. While his parents spent lazy hours in the hot tub and under the solarium, only moving for lunch in the cafeteria and a short visit in the sauna, Jay and Meg slid, slippered and swam through tunnels, fake canyons and wild-water chutes. After their skin’d pruned so much that they were worried of never getting it smooth again, they went to Pizza Hut and ate so much that each and every calorie they’d burned that day was back on them.
Full and satisfied, Jay went to bed and only fleetingly cursed himself for not even thinking about Jensen and impending doom. He was sure, though, that Jens wouldn’t start shooting tomorrow.
-*-
He didn’t. Instead, Jensen walked into the hall on Monday with a long - Jared did a double-take, along with Kevin and Lucas - skirt and sporting a black eye. Not the kohl-kind either, but a full-on shiner in vivid red-blue-blackish purple.
“Holy fuck! What’s gotten into Freak-o now?” Though he hated to admit it, Kevin pretty much summoned up Jared’s thoughts. “He crossdressing now? What’s next, he’s gonna wear a bra?”
“Shuddup, Kev. Hey, Jensen!” He ran over, a bit scared that he’d somehow done something wrong, or that the weekend had messed Jens up even more. Once again, his friend didn’t hear him over the music in his ears, but he noticed him coming and took the buds out.
“Jay? Whassup?”
“What’s up? Man, you look…” he took in the skirt. It was black denim, reached to his ankles and had buckles and snaps and chains and stuff on it. It was the least-girly skirt Jay’d ever seen. “Uh… “ he looked up into the expectant gaze - had Jensen always had green eyes? - and stuttered “Hurt. Uh, I mean, your eye?”
“Oh, that. Yeah, ran into a fist. Literally.” Jensen grinned. “Cool, huh?”
“Cool? Uh… yeah. Cool.” He couldn’t think of anything more to that and so he just stood and watched Jensen put his music back on and wave and leave. He stood a while until a caring friend grabbed him and dragged him off to class.
What the Hell?
Was Jensen being abused? No, couldn’t be. You don’t go around all happy and proud if your parents clock you one. Also, by whom? Mrs. Ackles was nearly a head shorter than her son and he couldn’t imagine her not raising hell if somebody hit her boy. So where did that shiner come from? Did he fight? Or maybe he was beaten up, for looking weird?
He’d find out. He could take him back in his car after school, their schedules ended at the same time today, he checked.
For now, though, Jared let himself be distracted by mocking Mark over his hangover and trying to placate Mel, who was still miffed about last night.
-*-
“Sorry, guys. I have to run.” He told his teammates, slapped Oliver on the back, fist-bumped Joe and rushed away. He’d spotted Jensen leaving the building, which had been the main purpose for staying so long chatting with his mates. Not that he didn’t enjoy that, the guys were pretty cool. But they’d finished practice early today and the Arts and Drama-class had still been busy when he’d showered.
“Hey, Jens!”
“Jay? What, are you stalking me?” Jared hoped his embarrassment could be taken as flush from the exercise.
“No, man. Don’t flatter yourself. I just… got the car back. Thought you might wanna catcha ride?”
“Uh…” Jensen looked uncertain, then shrugged. “Sure, why not.”
“Awesome! Come on, then.”
-*-
They were driving; a different route than they’d take if they’d walked. The shortcuts weren’t for driving; they had to go around to avoid some one-way streets. Jared kept scrunching his forehead, trying to catch the funny scent he kept noticing. Surreptitiously he tried to take a whiff of his clothes and under his armpits, pretty sure it wasn’t him. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Dude, do you smell that?” He wasn’t prepared for the glare he got. “What?”
“That’s me!”
“Uh…oh. Uh… sure. Sorry. Uh… what’s it?”
“Patchouli.”
“Oh. That’s… uh, a great smell.” Holy, he reeked like his grandma’s closet.
“Shut up. If it bothers you, just let me out here!” Jensen glared at him some more.
“Nonono!” Jared tried to placate. “No, it’s just… I never noticed, ya know? I mean… did you smell like it Friday?”
Jensen shook his head. “No. Just in school.”
“Huh” They kept silent for a while.
“So, how’d this cheerleader-stuff go?” It was Jensen, this time, who broke the silence.
“Oh, Mel won. And her team, of course.”
“Good. Congrats”
“Yeah. Thanks.” This was ridiculous. This felt like talking to his cousin Malcolm, a boring tax-accountant who seemed to have no idea what to do with Jay or Megan. Jared decided to just go with the flow, see where it took them. “She’s pissed at me for something, but dude, I have no clue about what. What about your weekend. How was Fairfield?”
“Awesome! Hey, if you wanna drop me off, you have to turn left here.” Jared took the turn just about, nearly knocking a biker from his bike. “Dude! No need to kill people!” Jared winced a bit at the choice of words.
“Sorry.” He opened the window, stuck his head out. “Sorry!” he yelled to the biker, who flipped him off.
“What’s larking anyway?”
“LARPing. L. A. R. P. Life action role play.”
Jared’s eyebrows rose to his hair. “Dude, seriously? You play fairy and dragons and that sh… stuff?”
“Shut up” Jensen crossed his arms over his chest, slid deeper in the seat. And Jared was pretty sure that mocking a potential killer’s choice of hobby was so not cool.
“Sorry. It’s just… Well, I ‘s surprised. A bit.”
“Man, stuff it. You go to your girlfriend’s hoola-group and let me do what I wanna. I don’t give a shit anyway.” And with that, Jensen grabbed the door-handle and jumped out when the car had to stop at a red light.
“Jensen! Fuck!” Jared hit the wheel in exasperation, drove to the side and ran after his friend, grabbed his shoulder. He had done this before, should have known what to expect. But he didn’t, and Jared landed on his back on the sidewalk, dizzily staring into the clouds above.
“Jesses - Jared, sorry! I didn’t… sorry. You ok?” In his line of vision, one cloud looked deceptively like a Goth with one wide, black-framed eye and a big bruise covering the other.
“Uh…ouch?” He accepted the hand that pulled him to his feet and shook his head. Nothing broken, nothing dented - except his pride. Seemed to become a common experience around Jensen. “Wow. What was that?”
“Aikido. Sorry. It tends to get reflexive when I’m pissed. Sanjy says I’ve gotta watch it. You ok?”
“Yeah, fine. No, it’s ok. Look, I’m sorry. I don’t really know anything ‘bout larpsing”
“Larping”
“Uh…yeah. So… Explain?”
“Hum. Well… I could show you. It’s easier. Come on.”
-*-
Right. LARPing - capital letters, Jens had explained, the fantasy-version - is kinda dressing up as knights and bashing on fellow-LARPers with swords and throw balls at them, scream curses - ‘real’ ones, not just swearing, though Jensen had said that there was definitely a lot of cussing involved - and try to conquer or defend a treasure, a fort, a king or queen or a lake. Whatever seemed worthy of defending. There were Masters who observed the rules, all kinds of weird creatures that had to behave according to their ‘nature’ and you could gain points and scores and maybe, if you were lucky, a page could one day become a knight. If he survived that long, because apparently you could die in ‘the field’ anytime.
Jensen was hoping to get more score-points for one day being able to do real sorcery - he’d explained that he was a dark elf and even though Jared had no clue what he was talking about, he could easily imagine his friend in a robe, throwing balls that were marked with runes at other players. Which was how he got his black eye: someone threw a ball while Jens was sneaking up on him and his fist smacked into Jensen's face on the backswing. Ouch, but Jensen was oddly proud of his shiner.
Jared was holding one of them in his hand now. It was one of those soft tennis-balls, painted dark and had white marks - runes - on it. Pretty simple. He was sitting on Jensen’s bed, taking in the room while Jens was downstairs, trying to weasel some cookies from his mom.
The room had changed and hadn’t at the same time. It was still painted light-blue, probably had been that color since Jens was born, but instead of the racing-cars and stuffed toys from the last time Jay had been here, there were skulls on the cupboard and fiery dragons hung from the ceiling. The huge amount of books was still as large as Jared’s, but the free walls were covered in Metal-group posters, mainly Metallica and Iron Maiden, but some Marilyn Manson and something that Jared had never heard of but looked creepy and dark were among them. It gave the room a dark tinge, seemed to suck the light out right out of it.
He went to the boards, checking out the books. Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit - oh, The Silmarillon! Cool.
He kept looking and grinned when he realized that Jens was still a Pratchett-fan, like himself, and also had some Gaiman in his reading-stock. Then there were names Jay’d never really heard of, like Glen Cook or Robert Crais. He pulled a thick book out, with a reddish cover. Huh. A Game of Thrones. He turned it around, read the back. Ah. This was the ‘Song of Ice and Fire’-verse Kevin had talked about. Huh. Maybe he could borrow it? Jared put it back and returned to taking in Jensen’s room.
On the closet hung a robe, streaked with dirt. Underneath stood boots, less buckle-loaded than the ones for school, but mud-caked, placed on old newspapers. Leather-pants, just as dirty, hung over a chair. Everything smelled of sweat, mud and smoke. Jens’ ‘school-boots’ stood in another corner and Jay walked over, curious to see how the hell you buckled them - oh. The laces and buckles just stayed closed; there was a zipper on the inner side of the boots. Sneaky!
Jared wandered around some more and picked up one of the swords that leaned against the wall. They were clean, looked well-cared for, and definitely nothing to run amok with. Not if you didn’t want to kill people by having them laugh themselves to death.
The swords, if you could actually call them that, were made of a long, thin core - Jay couldn’t find out what it was - surrounded by firm foam, formed like… well, like a blade, painted gray-ish brown with something that felt suspiciously like latex. The whole thing was light and easy to swing, and Jared made some moves just as Jensen stepped in.
“Hey, couldn’t get any cookies. Mom said you can eat dinner here, if ya wanna, but no cookies before a real meal” Jensen burst back in, pitching his voice high and imitating his mother’s lecturing tone. He gripped a different sword and held it up.
“Try it. It’s easy, really.” Jared looked a bit doubtful, but attacked anyway. For a while, the boys batted the sword together, getting more and more aggressive as the adrenaline and combative feelings in them grew. Suddenly, Jensen feinted right and slapped the blade against Jared’s back with force. It hurt much more than foam should, at least in Jared’s opinion, and he countered hard.
When they were sitting on the bed, panting and wincing in pain, Jay looked up. “Dude, this LARP-stuff sounds so dumb - but I think I’d love to come with one day.”
“Why not? There’s usually place enough for NPCs - Non-Player-Characters. What you’d call ‘extras’ for movies.”
Jared grinned. Yeah, not really cool, and he might have a secret agenda, trying to connect with Jensen and all. But still, this? Sounded actually loads of fun.
It also didn’t sound like Jensen was a loaner. Not really. LARPing was something you did in groups, and Jens had gone on and on about guys named Billy and Orin and a chick named Jaimie, with whom Jensen was apparently playing D&D every Thursday.
This was getting more and more confusing for Jay. Aikido, LARP… and yeah, Jens drew comics all the time in school and listened to dark music. But when he was sitting on his bed, Izzy’s head on his thighs, scratching his dog’s nose and talking animatedly about his group of friends… Jared started to doubt himself.
Maybe the kid in the chat room wasn’t actually trying to kill somebody? There were lotsa guys trying to mess with others, right? Maybe… maybe it wasn’t Jensen? He tried to think about something the guy had said, something that he could use to verify his suspicions.
“So, uh… you use that thing for games?” he pointed at the computer on the cluttered desk.
“Yeah, sometimes.” Jensen shrugged.
“Whatcha play?”
“Hmmm. WoW, and some shooter-games. Counter-Strike and of course Resident Evil.”
“Oh. Any good?” So far, the chatter had the same games on his profile, but that didn’t mean anything, right?
“Naa. Too impatient. I mean, Counter Strike is cool and all, and blasting stuff is pretty awesome, after school. But I don’t play much. Mom doesn’t really like it.”
Jared swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. Nearly word-for-word what that guy online had written. Too impatient, mother doesn’t like it. Blasting stuff after school, to vent some anger, which didn’t help anymore. He scratched his neck and his eyes fell on the clock made out of grinning skulls on the wall.
“Oh, damn. Need to get home. Mom needs the car tonight. I nearly forgot. I’m sorry” he stood and tried to ignore the slightly confused and disappointed look Jensen threw him.
“Na, ‘s fine. See ya tomorrow, right?”
“Sure” Jared grabbed his car-keys and left. “Chemistry, right?”
“Yupp. And Home Economics.”
“Ohhh, right. Who wouldn’t want to cook eggs after working with sulfur, right?” they grinned and Jared left, yelling “Bye” into the kitchen on his way out. He wasn’t sure if he heard a reply, the door closed fast behind him.
He didn’t really want to leave so soon, it had been fun. And if the scents from downstairs had been any indication, there would have been something delicious for dinner tonight. But he hadn’t lied. His mom needed the car.
Jay’d check online tonight, he resolved. There might be more clues and maybe a hint how to convince Jensen to think about his plans. Maybe they hadn’t been plans at all, just some rambling. Could be, right?
-*-
Friday, third week after he’d come up with his plan to stop Jensen from going berserk, Jared was anxious. After the last failed attempts at catching Jensen and either driving or walking together, he had surrendered and just picked him up along the way, mostly shortly before his friend reached the school by himself. But Jay was hopeful that it was the gesture that counted. Jensen at least seemed fine and happy to see him, no matter when that was.
At first, Jared had planned to spend any possible moment with Jens, in the cafeteria, in the hall, between classes.
That hadn’t really worked, though. For once, Jared’s other friends’d demanded their pound of him and he didn’t really want to give them up - they were friends, dammit! Mel had finally gotten over her bitch-fest and Jay was pretty sure it had been the famous ‘time of the month’ and not his fault. She was once again kissing and talking with him and he admitted to himself that he’d kinda’d missed her - even if it was only for a few days. Now everything was peachy between them, and he tried to spend as much time with her as he did with Jens.
Kevin was still loud and demanding and first he’d kept insulting Jensen until Jay had put an end to it. Firmly, so there’d be no misunderstanding. Steven and Mark had looked a bit astonished at his declaration that Jensen was his friend and therefore off-limits for mockery, and please, could they maybe keep it down when he’d invite Jens to their table. But the girls had only giggled and nodded so the guys’d ducked their heads and gone with the flow.
If Jared had been someone else, he might have marveled about the power a girl could have over a guy, but he wasn’t, so he was just glad that his friends didn’t drive his other friend into a killing-spree. Mark and Lucas had their own problems anyway, with one girlfriend who had to divide her weekends and sometimes even weeks between her dad and her mom and one… well, and Sally.
Sally had broken up with Mark. Jared didn’t really know all about it, just that Mel told him that Sally’d told her that Mark had been too weird and Sally had decided to maybe find someone else.
Not that Jared minded much. Sally had been a chatterbox and pretty superfluous, if anyone was interested in his opinion. Mark seemed to take it a bit hard, but his game had been as good as ever and even though Jay’d really planned to talk to him about it, Kev had said Mark was fine. In fact, Farland had been pretty specific as to what ‘fine’ included: Sheila Rose Himmelberg and her ‘assets’. Everyone knew Sheila banged everything that wasn’t fast enough to duck, so Jared was glad he’d stopped listening after her name was mentioned.
Jay’d tried to fuse his friends together. After all, they were all of the same age, right? Shouldn’t have been too hard.
Problem that had arisen, though? After one meal with Jay’s friends, Jensen had declined any more offers to sit with them. He claimed it was too loud for him and Jared wasn’t sure if that was the true reason or if the constant giggles from Mel, Molly and Haley and the infrequent heavy blushes that spread over Molly’s face whenever she looked at Jens had made him too awkward.
So, that was the second problem with the ‘spend all your waking moments with Jensen’-plan: Jensen seemed to like his loneliness.
Was this bad? Jared wasn’t sure, because really, could anyone be homicidal because he himself refused company when it was freely offered? Jay didn’t think so. Still, he tried to give his friend some attention; at least once a break he’d saunter over, sit next to him and peek at his drawings, which were pretty damn cool, if Jay was any judge.
Harsh lines, bare-chested girls with swords and knights in full armor, but mostly it was dragons. Fire-breathing, flying, attacking, virgin-chewing, claw-wielding, huge-ass dragons. They decorated Jensen’s college-blocks, his notebook, his work-sheets. And they all looked so alive and so full of anger and fury that Jay had to suppress a shiver, looking at some of ‘em.
Did they mean something? Or was it the same thing that had Haley drawing horses on every flat surface she could find? Jared couldn’t tell, and he started to believe that maybe he was in over his head.
The chatroom-guy - Jensen? - had been quiet the last week. Nothing at all, and when he’d asked Miguel if he’d heard something from somewhere else, his friend hadn’t been able to help. Jared felt like he was standing on a landslide, his feet being slowly but inevitably dragged downhill while his upper body tried to keep the balance.
Today, though, he wanted to and dreaded to talk to Jens. Sure, it all was pretty much a ruse to keep Jensen from killing, but he could admit to himself that the new-found bond he had with his old friend was something good. He liked spending time with Jens. Liked watching M*A*S*H and BSG, liked talking about nothing and everything. He loved to hear what Jensen thought about recent topics that didn’t circle around American Idol or basketball and sports. He even kinda liked hanging out with him and getting suspicious looks and sometimes even open disgust from total strangers. It seemed that Jens either liked the evil glances he evoked or he didn’t even see them. Instead, he usually did everything to prove his image wrong, picking up trash that wasn’t from him, tipping street-musicians, vacating seats for elderly people and helping mothers getting the pram into the bus. He especially loved that one. Both boys had started to live for the moment you could read the mother’s shock in her face when she found out that the dark, dangerous individual wasn’t trying to steal her baby but instead help her. Most women were completely thrown, their world turned upside down so much that they didn’t know how to react. Jared usually took a picture of those faces. They were priceless.
Jens was interesting, smart and had a startlingly biting sense of humor. Ok, his music kinda sucked, but Jared kept a straight face assuring Mel that no, really, Katie Perry was an awesome musician, so he was pretty sure his ears could tolerate bass-heavy screaming.
And Jensen was considerate enough to not play it too often, usually only when they played PS3. Jay didn’t even have to ask for mercy, music-wise.
It was no hardship to spend time with Jensen. But he dreaded it nonetheless.
Today was Friday, and he had a game to play. He’d nearly forgotten, even though he’d had to go to training basically every afternoon, had in fact complained to Jensen a lot about that. Fuck.
Problem was that he and Jens’d made plans for the weekend. He’d said he’d go on one of the LARPs with him, a small one, but he’d been looking forward. How he could just forget his game against Clarkstown was beyond him. He’d been hearing about it from his friends and his coach and his girlfriend, who showed him her moves for the cheerleading her team was preparing.
Shit. Shitshitshit-double-shit.
“Hey, Jay.”
“Gah - FUCK” He accidentally pressed the horn when Jensen opened the passenger-door and climbed in, like he often did when they met at the light at Fleeway-and-Grand-Street. “Fuck, man. I think my heart stopped beating for a second.”
Jensen chuckled, not even pitying him a minute. “Dude, why so jumpy? You been up in pink-frilly-lala-girlfriend-land again?”
Jared swallowed. “Yeah. Somethin’ like it.”
He drove on, graciously restraining from raising a finger at the guy behind him in the Honda Accord who’d been flashing his lights for a while now.
“So? Whassup?”
“Uh… Jens… I kinda. I think I messed up”
“Oh? How?”
“Well, I swear, I have no clue how it coulda happened, but I… I can’t go with you Saturday.” Jared refused to meet Jensen’s eyes, didn’t want to see the hurt in them.
“Why?” Jensen sounded pretty calm. Still.
“I…I forgot. We have a game. Clarkstown?”
“Oh. Right, that’s Saturday. Huh.” Now Jay did glance over. Just a peek. Jensen sat still, looked through the windshield and didn’t really show much. His face, still hidden behind layers of kohl, didn’t give much away on a good day, but now he was practically blank. Just when Jay decided to say something, a frown and then an angry glare crossed his friend’s face, aimed to something on the street apparently but could have been meant for Jay just as well.
Jared looked out, didn’t see much to glare at except some teachers and some of the Hummingbirds.
“Jens?” Jensen startled a bit, like being woken from a dream.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Naw, it’s fine. Maybe I can get a refund of the payment. Think there’ll be tickets for the game still?”
“I dunno. Probably.” He glanced over when they exited the car, trying to see something certain in Jensen’s face when he locked the doors. But he couldn’t spot anything. “Ok. Well, we could always go next time, ok?”
“Sure. No prob.”
“What about tonight, though? Any plans?”
“Jay, I toldya. I have Aikido on Fridays now. You complained two times about it already” this time, it was clear exasperation in Jensen’s voice and face.
“Right, right. Ok… uh. See ya this afternoon, then? Oh, no, right. You go to your kickboxing straight after, I know that!”
Jensen grinned. “Dude, you’re horrible with plans.” He turned and walked in the direction if his classroom, turning around and walking backwards a second to yell “And it’s aikido, assmunch!”
-*-
Jared was pretty sure he’d be fretting about Jensen’s attitude the whole Friday, but truth was, he was too busy. Mrs. Allen had them doing a surprise-quiz, which needed bitching over afterwards, Mr. Hayami yelled at Jared and Kevin because they were bitching - during Spanish, which was probably why he’d used some pretty strong Spanish words that Jay hadn’t previously known and had them both staying longer to clean the classroom. When they’d finally done that to his satisfaction, the cafeteria only had some chewy roles with cheese left and some soggy blades of lettuce. After school, Coach Cocker chewed Jay and Mark out for being somewhere ‘over the pretty, pretty rainbows’ and not in the game where they were desperately needed - his words - and Mark chewed Jay out for standing on his toe. Seriously, what was wrong with that dude? You should think finally getting laid would mellow him up some, but noooo. Marky Mark was still a prickly ass. It wasn’t really surprising that, when Jay told him so, Mark clocked him one.
Cocker was fuming at them after training, calling their parents - well, Jared’s parents because lucky for Mark, his family was off visiting grandma - and having them run laps until they nearly collapsed. Then the coach called the family again and had them picked up. Jared’s mom drove both of them home, being silent and glaring at them through the mirror, because ‘if you behaved like kindergarteners, you don’t get to ride in the front, and be glad I don’t make you sit on the kiddy-seats!’
Great day.
-*-
The game had sucked. Well, honestly, the game had been ok, but Jared had sucked and Mark had sucked and Kevin wasn’t that good a player on a regular day and Lucas and the rest of the team hadn’t been able to rescue the poor performance. Even the cheerleaders had been subdued in their cheering.
Shit.
After they got their asses handed to them by Cocker - and rightly so after a 48:16 loss - Jay had been bitchy, moody and sullen for the rest of the evening. His dad had been nice and all but he’d brooded in his room, sure that the world was ending and he’d never be allowed to play ball ever again.
That didn’t happen, of course. Instead, the coach called on Sunday morning, ordering Jared to school for extra-practice. He wasn’t alone, Mark and some of the team were with him, but he knew Cocker had him doing more than the others and he hated him for it.
Exhausted like never before, he got home, dropped on the couch and slept until dinner. His parents had been nice enough to let him rest and now he was feeling riled-up and moody and wide-awake.
After he’d shoved Megan, his dad grabbed him and took him out, running with him in the park. He hated his dad, even more than Coach Cocker.
“Jared, what’s up with you?” Gerald asked when they stopped to catch a breather. “I know you didn’t play like you can, yesterday, and it was… well, it was a pretty horrible game, honestly. But that’s no reason to be that much of an ass towards us, and certainly not to your sister. Is everything alright? Did you have a fight with Mel?”
“No” Jay sulked.
“That’s not good enough, buster. We can run some more, if you want?” It was a challenge, and Jared felt just bratty enough to take it on, but he couldn’t even walk without huffing. So he hung his head and shrugged, the usual answer any grownup will get from his kid during the time-span between thirteen and twenty. He heard his dad sigh and felt like an ass. But he couldn’t even say what was wrong with him to himself, certainly not to his dad.
It wasn’t just Jensen. He liked Jensen, more than he’d ever really remembered. His friend was much more witty and fun to hang out with than Kevin and Mark and Lucas. And maybe that was it? He felt his friends slip away from him, like Jensen had done before. Only this time, he noticed it and it hurt.
Jay watched his teammates thinking about girls, sex and girls, driving and drinking legally. They played basketball, swam and talked big, just like they’d always done. But now he felt apart, detached. He felt closer to Jensen than he ever did before, and this was so fucked-up because he believed his friend was capable of killing people and the whole scheme had been just that - a scheme. He’d wanted to pretend to be Jens’ friend - no, not true, he really wanted to be Jens’ friend, just not to the extend it was now.
Jay felt ripped apart. What if he couldn’t prevent him running amok? What if all was for nothing? If Jensen didn’t consider their friendship worth abandoning his plans - what if Jensen was simply crazy? Maybe Jay wasn’t helping at all?
Truth was, he knew he was betraying his friend by not being honest, and every day made it worse. Every minute they spent together made him feel more like crap, and he wanted to talk to the one person he knew would listen, except that that one person was Jensen himself. Which was why he’d just run off after the game, even though he’d seen Jensen sitting in the crowd and come down after to cheer him up.
And that he’d turned away and pretended to not see him made him feel like the dog-shit under his soles.
“I don’t really know, Dad. I swear.”
A heavy sigh. “Okay. But Jay?” Jared looked up “If there ever is something you need to talk about, please… remember that me and your mom, we will listen. We might not like it, we might not agree. We might yell at you, but we will listen. And we are your parents: you don’t ever doubt that we love you. Hear me?”
Jared blushed “I know, dad”
“Good. Now, let’s get home. I feel like my own father right now. Shower and bed, it’s already ten and there’s school tomorrow.”
Back home, Jay turned on his computer. He’d check for messages after the shower, only once. He didn’t want to, really, but he’d been a dick yesterday and maybe Jens wanted to talk about it. He could send a message, tell him he was sorry. Maybe his friend would get it before school.
When he came back from the bathroom, wet and warm and sleepy, he only wanted his bed. Still, he opened his mail-account, just to be sure. Wouldn’t even take a second, right?
Nothing from Jens, but Mig had sent an e-mail.
”Dude! Check that chatroom! The crazy is on again!”
With a heartbeat double its usual speed, he clicked on the bookmarked chatroom. Found ‘ace-blue’ right away, not difficult with the tons of exclamation-marks behind his posts. Paling, Jay read things like ‘kill’, ‘show ‘em’, ‘as many as I can’. And the word that kept burning itself into his eyeballs was ‘tomorrow’.
When he looked at his clock, at nearly two, he was hyper and scared and twisted inside like he’d never been. This was dangerous, madness. He’d tried to reason with the guy - Jensen - without exposing his identity. He’d followed as much as he could of the chat’s history, trying to find the trigger. The guy - Jensen - kept talking about Saturday, how everything was wrong, how much Saturday had taken the cake to every insult, every hurt, every time he’d been overlooked, ignored. How the whole week had been horrible but it’d been Saturday that did it, that showed him the truth. And that he was gonna end everything tomorrow.
Jared leaned back in his chair, ran a hand through his damp hair. He’d call Bill, he resolved. Or maybe Jensen. Yes, he’d do that. He’d go and tell his dad, his mom, they’d know what to do. They’d…
Jared fell asleep on his keyboard at a quarter to three and didn’t wake until his sister slammed the bathroom-door at half eight the next morning.
Part 4