Comments | marriagetips: Feeling Lost and Lonely

theinvisiblemom in marriagetips

Feeling Lost and Lonely

Oct 08, 2010 15:34

I am a mom to 3 wonderful kids and a wife to an absolutely amazing man. Now first off I would like to say that although I am having these feelings and emotions, I still feel truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband. I love him with all my heart and all in all we have an awesome relationship. He is my second marriage and last:) We have been ( Read more... )

Comments 7

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marijke_rose October 9 2010, 19:17:26 UTC

Um... I second all that!

I tried that, waiting for a really wonderful guy to 'get the hint' and... it just didn't work. Led to fights, because I was regularly disappointed. Now, I have taken that stance that: If I haven't directly TOLD him, then I can expect him to be clueless. IF I tell him what I want/expect/need, and he won't meet it, THEN it's his bad.

I dunno.. I think guys just act totally different at the beginning of a relationship - 'cause they're trying to woo you - and then, later, when you've been together a while, you both fall back into your usual habits and daily schedules and sponanity isn't such a big part of it.

Plus, if he's working 12 hours a day, 5 days a week and has pain on top of that.. I can definitely see where he just won't have the energy to do anything if he doesn't realise it's important. It is, of course, not easy for you, either. I SO remember how upsetting it was to be home alone all the time!

cpufem October 9 2010, 02:20:55 UTC

"Now the thing is...is that if I asked him would he go with me...he would go without even a grumble...but from my point of view if he really wanted to go and to spend time with me, he would just come, or ask if I would like him to come along...but he doesnt. So that makes me feel like he doesnt want to go."

don't try to mindread-- it's a futile task. relationships require communication from both parties. if you're not voicing it, he's not going to know.

theinvisiblemom October 9 2010, 22:57:32 UTC

Thanks everyone for all your advice:) I know that I just need to suck it up and get over waiting for him to "want" to go do things with me. Wishful thinking I guess lol. And I do know that he's in alot of pain:( Thanks everyone for putting my mindset back on the right perspective:) And your right Marijke it gets very lonely just sitting at home with no friends to go out and do things together ever so often lol. I live in a small town and just moved here about a year ago so I dont know hardly anyone:)All my close friends are hundreds of miles away! lol

kaeeak3786 October 16 2010, 17:59:00 UTC

What I hear from you is pure excuses. Having three children does not give you an excuse to sit at home all day and do nothing but go on facebook. Volunteer at a local shelter or animal shelter-you can meet a lot of awesome ppl, join a club- in my community we have a ton of free clubs, get a hobby (running, working out, reading, nitting,etc), or get a part time job to get you out of the house and meet ppl.

I'm 24 years old and a female-I work as a PR/media/communications rep for bentley/rolls royce and work 10 hour days plus 1.5 hr commute one way and travel 10 days out of the month-my b/f of 6 years works 6 hours a day 4 days a week but get paid 50 hours a week (his job is awesome) and in the bginning he was extremly bored but he picked up a few hobbies, made a new friend adn we MAKE it a point on saturday nights to play a bored game or watch a movie from netflicks and order in-that's when we talk a lot.

On weekends I DONT go anywhere.

stop making excuses up for yourself

spiltvinegar December 5 2010, 16:55:20 UTC

Are you at home by yourself all day, or with the kids? If you are with the kids, maybe you can look into programs for them in the community (think reading groups at the library, craft groups at the local community center, etc.). While the kids are in the activities, you may be able to meet some of the other parents and start a stronger social network ( ... )