i've gone dilusional now.
i layed in bed last night.
and i swore i heard my cell phone and the words "dance dance"
being sung out.
i raced down the stairs. 
dug through my purse. 
i've gone fucking dilusional.
my hopes are far too high. 
anything could break me. 
and if my nightmares last night didn't,
then im sure there will be something at work today ( Read more... )

nothing is as it should be.
have you ever had that overwhelming sick feeling?
the one where there is a lump in your throat.
and a knot in your stomach.
you don't know if you're going to cry or throw up.
your senses are dulled.
it hurts to breath in deep or exhale suddenly
but you can't figure it out.
you don't know whats wrong, but it's something.
( Read more... )

it feels as if im on a rollercoaster.
im happy
sad
mad
annoyed
scared
frustrated
aggravated
content
depressed
im everything
and nothing
all rolled into one
Work is either super good or SUPER bad.
in all honesty, im completely scared of my one boss..
family is pretty decent, except that the jazz festival is tomorrow and want me to go.
I wrote him a huge ( Read more... )

world cup.
italy vs germany.
small pub. 
lots of people. 
one boy
one girl. 
sitting far too close
a celebration 
forza italia
best day ever!

you sell your lies as words.
i buy them all.

i make you happy, but i hurt you?
what the hell kind of contradiction is that.
i swore i wouldn't. but you let me.
i typed "hi" into the msn window..
and then i realized i was being foolish.
so i deleted it and went on with my day
i can't care about him
.

im on call today/tonight.
how retarded is that.
i don't really want to work.
i'd rather look ( Read more... )

I had the best walk tonight.
i haven't seen thomas since, steph and i got chased by the creep. 
It was so nice to beable to talk to him.
We walked around my block, through the catwalk
down to the park... where we sat for an hour.
back to my house to get money then to tims.
then home.
The entire time, we talked about what has been happening.
I felt ( Read more... )

so i post in letterstolovers, and lyric save almost daily now
perhaps i should start posting in my actual journal more.

life was good for a while.
it's quite funny how life works.
or doesn't work for that matter
im feeling better.
thats a bonus i suppose.

sunday night was fun.
dancing,
friends.
laughs.
too many random photos 
and getting home at 4 in ( Read more... )

baahhhh...
people can be sooo stupid sometimes.
it probably doesn't help that i feel soo sick.
all i want to do is turn on my ac... 
till it's cold enough to wear flannel pjs. 
wrap myself in blankets. 
and watch bad movies. 
o and perhaps talk to le boy. 
you know he really does make me smile. 
he told me the other night.....
"i don't think i could go a ( Read more... )

why does it always end up this way ?? 
bleh i feel so sick . 
my head is pouding, and i have this uneasy feeling in my stomach
i know, no one likes complainers
but is it too much to ask for someone to 
hold me
miss my forehead 
tell me ill get better 
and lay with me 
till i fall asleep 
and stay 
stay all night
till i wake up and feel better