Sometimes I forget I have a livejournal.

There's a bug in my brain and it's making me mad. 
I can't remember what I like about things.

Cept' my books. i like books.

I want magic powers. I want to be able to change how i feel just by deciding too. I want to choose who i love, who I miss, why I cry. I want to fast forward, or rewind, or SOMETHING.

Shut up, you're sitting in a two story house.
fucucuufkrjker?

I don't know how much more of this i can handle.

If I was a color, I still don't know what I'd be. Why is ( Read more... )

My silence is not manipulation.
I swear to God I'm screaming in my head.
There's just no way to save this situation.
Before the words can pass my lips
I'm choking back in silent sips
of air that only tastes
like disapproval, pain, and dread.
To both of you I'm just a great example
of teenage angst that's gone too far astray
a privileged girl with far too ( Read more... )

I went to Chicago last niggghttt and today. And I love it there. I don't know what it is, but i do really well in cities. I'll live in one some day...but I dont think I want to live in one ALL the time. ANyway. I saw Hamlet at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater and it was amazing. I think you know people are doing shakespeare well when their acting ( Read more... )

* dominant or submissive ( Read more... )

There is no doubt in my mind that there is a God. I can see her, and I can hear him, i can feel it. I see God every time I step out of my door and see the autumn leaves, the perfect blending of reds, oranges, and yellows that give me a sense of comfort, and when the air is crisp and clean and i know everything is going to be okay. I see God in the ( Read more... )

I would really love to be consistent. I know my bad days are less often, and not nearly as bad, but im just plain tired. I miss Line. I miss a lot of things. But there's so much good stuff this year...I probably have the best friends in the world :).

And yet, there's still so many barriers. So many directions I'm not aloud to glance, so many ( Read more... )

Shut up brain shut up brain shut up brain ( Read more... )

Renewed ( Read more... )

I have this ridiculous obsession with completeness, or starting over, or something. I have a billion journals that have one entry usually beginning with "Okay, I'm really not going to tear this thing apart this time". But after a while I feel as though I've contaminated the damn thing and have to rip them out and start over, which eventually leads ( Read more... )