i just dont know about life so much right now. i had a panic attack the other afternoon and it just seemed like life was getting the best of me and i wasnt going to make it ( Read more... )

i used to sleep well. now its like i can never seem to get to sleep at all anymore. i think about one main thing in my nights and mornings of utter silence in being alone. i can hear my pets moving about the house, my parents sleeping, and nothing from outside my house. laying there just thinking about the one thing that even in my sleep i can ( Read more... )

soooo... i got to talk to lance this evening. it was nice. ive missed being able to sit and have a conversation with him and just being able to be around him. it truely was the high light of this weekend. i know thats pretty sad to say but with what has been going on lately with the whole kendra and henrik situation it was nice to be around the one ( Read more... )

one of my friends told me about a word last night.. agape. he said it was greek word basically meaning true love lasting a lifetime. not sure if i believe that or not... i used to. not so much anymore. i guess im just confused by this little thing called love. oddly enough, im starting to look forward to valentines day. im going to go talk to ( Read more... )

it sucks being alone. kendra is with him, and i am still the wall orniment.. but now im here by myself, eating chocolate and watching chick flick after chick flick alone... i hate being single.

not much to write. im confused on a lot of things, mainly relationships at the moment. why is it that human nature wants us to get into a relationship past friendship instead of just being alone? its weird. like ill give an example... one of my good friends had just broken up with her 5 month bf and was out dating and messing around(in a non-having ( Read more... )

this weekend was probably one of the most emotional i have had in a while. i have felt jealous, angry, hurt, depressed, sad, happy, wonderful, bouncy, and empty but whole inside. does that make sense to anyone? let me start from the beginning, and this will be long so brace yourselves ( Read more... )

okay, so i still kinda like someone... yea still. i started to like them at the start of last semester and i hid all those feeling because they were starting out in a relationship and when i heard that relationship was over i couldnt help but want to show that person that i still like them. so being the dummy head i am, i told them that i still ( Read more... )

for some reason this morning while i was talking to my friend keith on the internet, i started to remember one particular class while all of us were juniors in high school... Mrs.Mantons honors U.S. history class. just being able to go from lunch with megan and trying to beat keith and jacob there everyday. jacob would always come in all hot and ( Read more... )

well as the title says im back in high point, still alone. for some reason i thought this "talking" time with alexander would have ended differently. so the wait goes on, but i must say this past week hanging out with alex and getting a cold from him and just being able to flirt and lay and all the stuff we used to do(well all the non-sexual stuff ( Read more... )