I will survive it ( Read more... )

It's hard to tell exactly how long I've been awake, an hour, maybe two, three. Bad dream after bad dream and I just can't go back to sleep. I grabbed a very drowsy Charlie and cuddled with her and even that didn't help. Stress seems to trigger the bad dreams or make them worse. The medication is still a fairly low dose and seems to mainly be ( Read more... )

I've finished day 4 of Zoloft. Haven't noticed any obvious changes or side effects except possibly mild nausea. I've yet to try out the Valium but maybe I won't have to go there. It was becoming pretty obvious to me there was a problem and it was getting worse. Things that weren't there before the accident and others that were worsened because of ( Read more... )

How I wish it were ( Read more... )

I don't think it's too much to ask, to want someone to be crazy about you. I think it's cheating yourself pretending that's what you have when you know you're a shadow cast by the illumination of how happy someone once was ( Read more... )

I have a lot on my mind. I haven't been keeping up with my thoughts, I let them roll through and then carry on. I had a beautiful poem in mind several weeks ago that I fell asleep to. Something about sea grass, hues of blues and coral, the salt in the air, the sand, the mist. That was even before we took a trip to a beach house immediately after ( Read more... )

Can't something be normal for a change. Anything at all. I am stressed to the max. I suppose the thing to do would be to distract myself somehow ( Read more... )

It's funny how small things can trigger a memory, all these acorns scattered on the driveway remind me of kicking them around across sidewalks walking home from school. My sister and I would gather up all the freshly fallen maple leaves and bury ourselves under piles of them. But in that case the acorns were uncomfortable. The parents would come ( Read more... )

drive returning, couple props in transit, speedlite on sale, collecting graphics and backgrounds, ideas for designs floating through my head. I think I was waiting for a possibility of a different avenue but it appears I should stay the course after all. I know exactly the way I want to go with this, it's just a matter of really making it happen ( Read more... )

While driving down the nearly open road I watched the sunset. Flocks of birds that I imagined to be migrating winged against a band of magenta across the horizon. Why can I never say what I want to? Ginger tells me all the time she wished she had my ability to stay cool-headed. I've never been much like a volcano, I don't have angry outbursts and I ( Read more... )