A Single Word - Chapter Ten
Title: A Single Word - Chapter Ten
Pairing: JongKey.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, bullying, mentions of abuse.
Summary: The night a strange new person enters his life, everything changes for Key.
Word Count: 2,469
Notes: This chapter was very difficult for me. As something that I've been planning since the beginning, of course I would be hesitant about the way I carry out the scenes. Things came out a little differently than planned (they always do <.<;) Everything's a work in progress until it's done, right? Well, this chapter is pretty dramatic I guess, and obviously the next one will be too. I hope everyone enjoys it. Thank you for reading! :D
Spots For: hurryupthecakes, ezri_sun, ryotanfan29, and nurmee ^.^
01| 02| 03| 04| 05| 06| 07| 08| 09
"Hey, where'd you get the new jacket?" came the grating, high pitched voice of the kid who sat behind him. There was a pause of silence before the boy leaned forward and whispered nastily in his ear, "Isn't it nice? Being so pathetic that people feel sorry enough for you that they'll get you anything you want for nothing in return." Jonghyun heard him sit back in his chair, the legs squeaking painfully in his ears. "You're not a man. You're a bug, a disease to our society."
It was almost like being back in that house, how Jonghyun stared mutely at whatever was in front of him and sunk into the black void that kept all the harsh words at bay. For the moment, he could ignore them. For now, he could keep himself from showing any kind of response or emotion, but he knew it would come back. He knew it would stay with him. Those words that stung so painfully, hit so close to home that he couldn't ignore them forever. The teacher walked in moments later, and Jonghyun was able to focus on the work instead.
The nice thing about switching classes was being able to get away from certain people, and then suddenly being able to be around one that he did like. Taemin showing up at the school was like a lifeline tossed out to him from a mysterious place, something to cling onto when nothing else was there to help him.
Around Taemin, Jonghyun didn't feel like a freak. In those short moments of the day, Jonghyun could forget that he was different from everyone else because Taemin didn't treat him that way. For a little while, he was able to forget everything and just be. Those moment became so comforting to him that he actually looked forward to school, to getting through the worst classes of the day just so he could hang out with Taemin, with his friend.
The word made Jonghyun all kinds of happy and scared at the same time. While feeling so important, it also seemed so unreliable. Maybe Taemin would have to go back to where he came from, or maybe he would find someone he liked more. Maybe he would figure out that Jonghyun wasn't actually normal, and would suddenly look at him like the other students. In that way, it was mind numbingly scary, and he wanted more than anything to not be alone again.
Once at the Kim's home again, the words of that boy came back, eating away at his mind. As the days went on, as Key sighed more and more during the silence, Jonghyun felt the burden he was placing on them. Mrs. Kim still fussed over him, but he could see the worry and tired look in her eyes when Mr. Kim came home with no good news. He couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking about how long they would have to take care of him.
Sitting on his bed one afternoon, Jonghyun thought about it in a way he'd never let himself before. What could he do? He was afraid, not only to say anything, but also to remember. Anything more than the thoughts he couldn't block out, he was fine letting everything else sit idly in the back of his mind. Wrapping his arms around his knees, Jonghyun stared at the wall as the words rang through his head. They twisted and distorted until the voice was no longer the shrill, high pitched tone of his classmate, but the labored, deep tone of him, the man his step mother always told him to call uncle. He was a burden. He'd always been a burden, messing up people's lives.
A sudden raised voice startled Jonghyun out of his thoughts. The voice was easily distinguishable as Key's. Then a slammed door, and Jonghyun was slowly sliding off his bed and padding softly into the hallway. He could still hear Key's voice, talking to someone, probably on the phone unless someone had come into the house without him knowing about it.
Stepping closer to the door, Jonghyun felt his ears straining to hear even though he knew it was wrong to listen.
"I don't want to talk about it ... It's not like it doesn't frustrate me too ... He's so annoying. I don't know what to do about him ... Yeah, sometimes I wish I didn't have to deal with either of them..."
Tilting his head slightly, Jonghyun let the words run through his mind, trying to process what they meant, who he was talking about. His stomach twisted nervously when he thought about how he might be the subject, or at least one of 'them' that Key didn't want to deal with. Biting his bottom lip, Jonghyun lifted his hand and touched the door. There was a loud sigh that made Jonghyun wince, and then a moment of silence. He was just pulling his hand back when the door suddenly opened. They both jumped as their eyes met.
"JESUS!" Key gasped, clutching his chest and staring at Jonghyun with wide eyes. "You nearly scared me to death."
"I was ... just worried. I heard your door and..." he trailed off, not really sure what to say, and Key didn't give him a chance to say much more.
"Just stop doing things like that, sneaking around, okay? It's weird... and don't worry. I just need some time alone," he sighed before moving around Jonghyun and towards the kitchen. Jonghyun stared into his room for a moment before turning around and heading back to his own, his eyes nearly staring holes into the wall in front of him.
They were at the park again, Key and him. He looked around, a little confused at first because it looked like where they'd been, but it also looked different. He walked further into the park, looking back to see Key watching him as he carefully explored. There were kids there this time, something different than before. A woman sat not too far away, reading her book while sitting at a bench. She looked up every now and then to let her gaze sweep over the playground, checking on whichever kid she was with.
Moving his eyes to watch the kids, Jonghyun slowly moved closer to them. There was a little girl in a pink dress on the slide. A boy was on the swings, laughing, and another one was sitting a little ways off, playing in the sandbox. Looking back around, Jonghyun saw Key was now pushing the little boy on the swing, the kid was laughing louder and swinging his legs high. Jonghyun stepped closer to the kid in the sand, feeling a sick, scared feeling in his stomach. Coming right up behind him, Jonghyun looked down at him, his shadow falling over the kid's back. He reached out his hand slowly toward his shoulder, and the kid moved, turning to look over his shoulder. Their eyes met and Jonghyun felt his chest clench.
"Jjong!" the sound of a man's voice sent a chill up his spine and he turned to see the last person he ever wanted to see again moving towards him. Only, he looked younger, happier, like he had when Jonghyun had first met him. But when his eyes landed on Jonghyun, he stopped dead in his tracks, his mouth twisting into a sneer. "You! I've found you!"
Jonghyun's eyes widened, a frightened whimper falling from his lips as he stumbled back, falling over the small boy who only stared at him with big brown eyes, his eyes. Suddenly, the man was on him, grabbing his arms and wrestling with him to keep him from getting away.
"It's your fault! I'm like this because of you!"
Struggling, Jonghyun tried to push him off, but his arms were so weak. It didn't make sense, but he felt at his worst even though he'd been fine minutes before. He couldn't get him off at all. Then, Key was at his side, pulling at the man’s arm and trying to get him off.
Before anything happened, Jonghyun felt a cold realization spread through him and he opened his mouth to call out to Key, but nothing came out. The man's arm flew back, knocking Key away, but instead of leaving him he turned angrily on the other boy. Jonghyun stared in horror, unable to move, as the scene unfolded before him. Key's eyes turned to find him, wide with shock and pain as the man‘s hands closed around his neck.
The next morning, Jonghyun woke up in a cold sweat. It took him a long time to even get out of bed and head for the bathroom to get ready. He was on his way to the kitchen when he noticed Key's shoes were already gone. Ignoring the sick feeling still in his stomach, he walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, watching Mrs. Kim get her stuff together. When she noticed Jonghyun, she smiled before continuing her work. "Kibum left early. He said something about having classroom duties, so I'll take you to school. Can you be ready in fifteen minutes?"
A part of Jonghyun wanted to ask if he could just walk in on his own, but he remembered how she'd reacted before. He knew it would just worry her, so he nodded before standing up to head back to his room. "Yeah, I'll be ready."
One of the last thing he wanted to do was go back to school, but even worse than that was the thought of disappointing the Kim family. So, trying to sink completely into the emotionless void, he got into the car and stared out the window the entire way. When he got out of the car, Jonghyun didn't miss Mrs. Kim's worried glance as she wished him a good day. He smiled to try and make her feel at ease and then turned to face the monstrous looking building. Taking a deep breath, he walked in.
School was definitely better when he could look forward to hanging out with Taemin. Other students messed with him a lot less with him around, but when Taemin wasn't nearby they always managed to find him. It was weird because it was nothing like what he'd gone through before, but it hurt. In some ways it hurt even more than what he'd felt recently while still locked up. He wanted to be normal, wanted people to like him, but he was starting to feel like no one really did. Maybe Taemin did, and maybe Key did too, but he also felt like a burden. More than that, the dream he had made him aware of just how much of a danger he could be to other people.
When he got to his class, he looked over into Key‘s classroom. It did seem like he was busy. He was talking with the class representatives, one of which was scribbling down stuff on her notepad. Jonghyun sighed softly and sat in his seat. It was too close to class starting to go anywhere else.
Jonghyun didn't really have the chance to talk to Key at all, and he didn't go looking for it either. Ever since the night before, both the look on Key's face, what he'd said, and the dream he had made Jonghyun feel like that was the last thing he should do. Taemin seemed to read his mood after a little while of him only responding with nods or shakes of his head. He didn't pry for information, but Jonghyun could tell he was trying to help get his mind off of things as he talked and joked about the lamest things. It was sweet really, and Jonghyun appreciated it more than it probably showed.
There weren't many times during the day that Jonghyun went off on his own. Being around other people actually made him feel safer, even if they didn’t like him, but today he just started walking. It was before the last class of the day. Some people were going out to the athletic field, and Jonghyun watched them with a wary eye as he walked by. When he met the familiar dark eyes of Minho, he froze for a whole second before turning and walking in the other direction. He could feel the eyes on his back, digging into him, but he hadn't expected to hear someone approaching him only moments later.
"Hey, slow down," came Minho's voice as he caught up with him. Jonghyun looked at him without saying anything, but Minho didn't go away and Jonghyun started to wonder if he would be late for class. "Look, I want to ask you something. Just wait for a second," Minho's hand was on his shoulder, pulling him around and holding him there.
Looking up into his big eyes, Jonghyun didn't feel exactly afraid, but he didn't feel comfortable at all either.
"You never talk," Minho started before seeming to doubt his word choice. He paused before adding, "I want to know why you're here. I've never met someone ... like you before, and I don't understand why the Kim family has to take care of you so much. Don't you have your own family or something?"
By now, Minho's hands had dropped back down to his sides, but Jonghyun wasn't moving to leave. He stared at the ground as if he might be able to sink into it if he tried hard enough.
"Okay, fine, don't say anything. Just know that the way you are is so troublesome to everyone around you. Key and I were fine before you showed up, and now he's mad because I haven't joined in your pity party. You know that it's affecting him too, right? I don't know if he told you, but he was expected to be captain of the dance team this year. Now, they're saying he might get kicked out because he hasn't attended any of the meetings. Now, why do you think he would give up something that everyone knew was so important to him? You think he likes being your babysitter? He's losing his life..."
Biting down hard on his lip, Jonghyun whipped around and started walking again, this time faster.
"Hey! Wait," Minho called after him, but he didn't move to follow even when Jonghyun didn‘t slow down.
Jonghyun kept moving around the school building, but he didn't stop there. His vision blurred and he reached up to wipe his eyes as his steps quickened. He never, never thought anything would be like this. When he'd dreamt of getting away, he'd never thought about how much trouble it would cause other people. He'd never imagined he would feel this alone, hurt this much.
Chapter Eleven
Pairing: JongKey.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, bullying, mentions of abuse.
Summary: The night a strange new person enters his life, everything changes for Key.
Word Count: 2,469
Notes: This chapter was very difficult for me. As something that I've been planning since the beginning, of course I would be hesitant about the way I carry out the scenes. Things came out a little differently than planned (they always do <.<;) Everything's a work in progress until it's done, right? Well, this chapter is pretty dramatic I guess, and obviously the next one will be too. I hope everyone enjoys it. Thank you for reading! :D
Spots For: hurryupthecakes, ezri_sun, ryotanfan29, and nurmee ^.^
01| 02| 03| 04| 05| 06| 07| 08| 09
"Hey, where'd you get the new jacket?" came the grating, high pitched voice of the kid who sat behind him. There was a pause of silence before the boy leaned forward and whispered nastily in his ear, "Isn't it nice? Being so pathetic that people feel sorry enough for you that they'll get you anything you want for nothing in return." Jonghyun heard him sit back in his chair, the legs squeaking painfully in his ears. "You're not a man. You're a bug, a disease to our society."
It was almost like being back in that house, how Jonghyun stared mutely at whatever was in front of him and sunk into the black void that kept all the harsh words at bay. For the moment, he could ignore them. For now, he could keep himself from showing any kind of response or emotion, but he knew it would come back. He knew it would stay with him. Those words that stung so painfully, hit so close to home that he couldn't ignore them forever. The teacher walked in moments later, and Jonghyun was able to focus on the work instead.
The nice thing about switching classes was being able to get away from certain people, and then suddenly being able to be around one that he did like. Taemin showing up at the school was like a lifeline tossed out to him from a mysterious place, something to cling onto when nothing else was there to help him.
Around Taemin, Jonghyun didn't feel like a freak. In those short moments of the day, Jonghyun could forget that he was different from everyone else because Taemin didn't treat him that way. For a little while, he was able to forget everything and just be. Those moment became so comforting to him that he actually looked forward to school, to getting through the worst classes of the day just so he could hang out with Taemin, with his friend.
The word made Jonghyun all kinds of happy and scared at the same time. While feeling so important, it also seemed so unreliable. Maybe Taemin would have to go back to where he came from, or maybe he would find someone he liked more. Maybe he would figure out that Jonghyun wasn't actually normal, and would suddenly look at him like the other students. In that way, it was mind numbingly scary, and he wanted more than anything to not be alone again.
Once at the Kim's home again, the words of that boy came back, eating away at his mind. As the days went on, as Key sighed more and more during the silence, Jonghyun felt the burden he was placing on them. Mrs. Kim still fussed over him, but he could see the worry and tired look in her eyes when Mr. Kim came home with no good news. He couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking about how long they would have to take care of him.
Sitting on his bed one afternoon, Jonghyun thought about it in a way he'd never let himself before. What could he do? He was afraid, not only to say anything, but also to remember. Anything more than the thoughts he couldn't block out, he was fine letting everything else sit idly in the back of his mind. Wrapping his arms around his knees, Jonghyun stared at the wall as the words rang through his head. They twisted and distorted until the voice was no longer the shrill, high pitched tone of his classmate, but the labored, deep tone of him, the man his step mother always told him to call uncle. He was a burden. He'd always been a burden, messing up people's lives.
A sudden raised voice startled Jonghyun out of his thoughts. The voice was easily distinguishable as Key's. Then a slammed door, and Jonghyun was slowly sliding off his bed and padding softly into the hallway. He could still hear Key's voice, talking to someone, probably on the phone unless someone had come into the house without him knowing about it.
Stepping closer to the door, Jonghyun felt his ears straining to hear even though he knew it was wrong to listen.
"I don't want to talk about it ... It's not like it doesn't frustrate me too ... He's so annoying. I don't know what to do about him ... Yeah, sometimes I wish I didn't have to deal with either of them..."
Tilting his head slightly, Jonghyun let the words run through his mind, trying to process what they meant, who he was talking about. His stomach twisted nervously when he thought about how he might be the subject, or at least one of 'them' that Key didn't want to deal with. Biting his bottom lip, Jonghyun lifted his hand and touched the door. There was a loud sigh that made Jonghyun wince, and then a moment of silence. He was just pulling his hand back when the door suddenly opened. They both jumped as their eyes met.
"JESUS!" Key gasped, clutching his chest and staring at Jonghyun with wide eyes. "You nearly scared me to death."
"I was ... just worried. I heard your door and..." he trailed off, not really sure what to say, and Key didn't give him a chance to say much more.
"Just stop doing things like that, sneaking around, okay? It's weird... and don't worry. I just need some time alone," he sighed before moving around Jonghyun and towards the kitchen. Jonghyun stared into his room for a moment before turning around and heading back to his own, his eyes nearly staring holes into the wall in front of him.
They were at the park again, Key and him. He looked around, a little confused at first because it looked like where they'd been, but it also looked different. He walked further into the park, looking back to see Key watching him as he carefully explored. There were kids there this time, something different than before. A woman sat not too far away, reading her book while sitting at a bench. She looked up every now and then to let her gaze sweep over the playground, checking on whichever kid she was with.
Moving his eyes to watch the kids, Jonghyun slowly moved closer to them. There was a little girl in a pink dress on the slide. A boy was on the swings, laughing, and another one was sitting a little ways off, playing in the sandbox. Looking back around, Jonghyun saw Key was now pushing the little boy on the swing, the kid was laughing louder and swinging his legs high. Jonghyun stepped closer to the kid in the sand, feeling a sick, scared feeling in his stomach. Coming right up behind him, Jonghyun looked down at him, his shadow falling over the kid's back. He reached out his hand slowly toward his shoulder, and the kid moved, turning to look over his shoulder. Their eyes met and Jonghyun felt his chest clench.
"Jjong!" the sound of a man's voice sent a chill up his spine and he turned to see the last person he ever wanted to see again moving towards him. Only, he looked younger, happier, like he had when Jonghyun had first met him. But when his eyes landed on Jonghyun, he stopped dead in his tracks, his mouth twisting into a sneer. "You! I've found you!"
Jonghyun's eyes widened, a frightened whimper falling from his lips as he stumbled back, falling over the small boy who only stared at him with big brown eyes, his eyes. Suddenly, the man was on him, grabbing his arms and wrestling with him to keep him from getting away.
"It's your fault! I'm like this because of you!"
Struggling, Jonghyun tried to push him off, but his arms were so weak. It didn't make sense, but he felt at his worst even though he'd been fine minutes before. He couldn't get him off at all. Then, Key was at his side, pulling at the man’s arm and trying to get him off.
Before anything happened, Jonghyun felt a cold realization spread through him and he opened his mouth to call out to Key, but nothing came out. The man's arm flew back, knocking Key away, but instead of leaving him he turned angrily on the other boy. Jonghyun stared in horror, unable to move, as the scene unfolded before him. Key's eyes turned to find him, wide with shock and pain as the man‘s hands closed around his neck.
The next morning, Jonghyun woke up in a cold sweat. It took him a long time to even get out of bed and head for the bathroom to get ready. He was on his way to the kitchen when he noticed Key's shoes were already gone. Ignoring the sick feeling still in his stomach, he walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, watching Mrs. Kim get her stuff together. When she noticed Jonghyun, she smiled before continuing her work. "Kibum left early. He said something about having classroom duties, so I'll take you to school. Can you be ready in fifteen minutes?"
A part of Jonghyun wanted to ask if he could just walk in on his own, but he remembered how she'd reacted before. He knew it would just worry her, so he nodded before standing up to head back to his room. "Yeah, I'll be ready."
One of the last thing he wanted to do was go back to school, but even worse than that was the thought of disappointing the Kim family. So, trying to sink completely into the emotionless void, he got into the car and stared out the window the entire way. When he got out of the car, Jonghyun didn't miss Mrs. Kim's worried glance as she wished him a good day. He smiled to try and make her feel at ease and then turned to face the monstrous looking building. Taking a deep breath, he walked in.
School was definitely better when he could look forward to hanging out with Taemin. Other students messed with him a lot less with him around, but when Taemin wasn't nearby they always managed to find him. It was weird because it was nothing like what he'd gone through before, but it hurt. In some ways it hurt even more than what he'd felt recently while still locked up. He wanted to be normal, wanted people to like him, but he was starting to feel like no one really did. Maybe Taemin did, and maybe Key did too, but he also felt like a burden. More than that, the dream he had made him aware of just how much of a danger he could be to other people.
When he got to his class, he looked over into Key‘s classroom. It did seem like he was busy. He was talking with the class representatives, one of which was scribbling down stuff on her notepad. Jonghyun sighed softly and sat in his seat. It was too close to class starting to go anywhere else.
Jonghyun didn't really have the chance to talk to Key at all, and he didn't go looking for it either. Ever since the night before, both the look on Key's face, what he'd said, and the dream he had made Jonghyun feel like that was the last thing he should do. Taemin seemed to read his mood after a little while of him only responding with nods or shakes of his head. He didn't pry for information, but Jonghyun could tell he was trying to help get his mind off of things as he talked and joked about the lamest things. It was sweet really, and Jonghyun appreciated it more than it probably showed.
There weren't many times during the day that Jonghyun went off on his own. Being around other people actually made him feel safer, even if they didn’t like him, but today he just started walking. It was before the last class of the day. Some people were going out to the athletic field, and Jonghyun watched them with a wary eye as he walked by. When he met the familiar dark eyes of Minho, he froze for a whole second before turning and walking in the other direction. He could feel the eyes on his back, digging into him, but he hadn't expected to hear someone approaching him only moments later.
"Hey, slow down," came Minho's voice as he caught up with him. Jonghyun looked at him without saying anything, but Minho didn't go away and Jonghyun started to wonder if he would be late for class. "Look, I want to ask you something. Just wait for a second," Minho's hand was on his shoulder, pulling him around and holding him there.
Looking up into his big eyes, Jonghyun didn't feel exactly afraid, but he didn't feel comfortable at all either.
"You never talk," Minho started before seeming to doubt his word choice. He paused before adding, "I want to know why you're here. I've never met someone ... like you before, and I don't understand why the Kim family has to take care of you so much. Don't you have your own family or something?"
By now, Minho's hands had dropped back down to his sides, but Jonghyun wasn't moving to leave. He stared at the ground as if he might be able to sink into it if he tried hard enough.
"Okay, fine, don't say anything. Just know that the way you are is so troublesome to everyone around you. Key and I were fine before you showed up, and now he's mad because I haven't joined in your pity party. You know that it's affecting him too, right? I don't know if he told you, but he was expected to be captain of the dance team this year. Now, they're saying he might get kicked out because he hasn't attended any of the meetings. Now, why do you think he would give up something that everyone knew was so important to him? You think he likes being your babysitter? He's losing his life..."
Biting down hard on his lip, Jonghyun whipped around and started walking again, this time faster.
"Hey! Wait," Minho called after him, but he didn't move to follow even when Jonghyun didn‘t slow down.
Jonghyun kept moving around the school building, but he didn't stop there. His vision blurred and he reached up to wipe his eyes as his steps quickened. He never, never thought anything would be like this. When he'd dreamt of getting away, he'd never thought about how much trouble it would cause other people. He'd never imagined he would feel this alone, hurt this much.
Chapter Eleven