A broken promise (epilogue)
Title: A broken promise (epilogue)
Author: MatsuAurore
Pairing: Yama
Rating: R
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst
Disclaimer: This is an epilogue or maybe a sequel of my Yama fic, A broken promise.
Summary: After a traumatic experience, Sho's mind is on the line. Emptiness, sadness and pain are eating and killing him slowly. But if a miracle could give him back his smile and his happiness?
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
PART 1/2
"No, please!!!" The man begged, raising his arms to protect himself.
"Did you stop when you raped this boy?!" I asked coldly, my gun against his temple.
"I'm sorry!"
"You can be sorry, bastard! A shit like you deserves to die." I smirked.
"Please, I..." But I shot, the bullet sinking in his head.
The man collapsed on the ground, dead. I hit his body with my foot, disgust shining on my face.
Grabbing my bag, I left the house, without looking behind my back. This bastard deserved it! He wasn't a human but just a shit! I kept repeating in my mind, trying to convince myself.
When I entered my house, I walked in my bathroom and looked at my face through the mirror. There still was some blood on my cheek. I wiped it quickly and went under the hot water to erase this new murder. But despite the shower, I still felt the blood on my skin.
I collapsed on my bed. Again, I won't sleep or maybe only one hour if I'm lucky.
Suddenly, I heard a noise and grabbed the gun under my pillow before standing up silently. My living room was dark but there was a shadow on the corner, at His place.
"Who are you?!" I asked, raising my gun.
"Hello, Sho."
"Satoshi?!" I released my gun, shocked.
"I missed you." My ex lover smiled shyly.
"But... But you are dead." I stammered, my hands shaking in fear.
"No, I'm really here. I didn't die this day, you always thought my father had killed me."
"Baby!!!" I ran toward him and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly, tears rolling down my face.
"Sho." Ohno froze a bit but hugged me back.
"Baby... I'm missed you so bad... I... I... Oh, babe, I love you so much, my love!!!" I cried in his neck, kissing his skin again and again.
"I love you too, Sho-chan." Satoshi whispered.
"Satoshi!" I stroked his cheek before catching his lips hungrily.
When I laid him down on the bed and made love to him, my joy came back after all this time. If it was a dream, I didn't want to wake up. Never! I collapsed next to Satoshi who hugged me tightly, wrapping his leg around my waist. We kissed each other tenderly for some minutes, my hands stroking every parts of his skin, to be sure he was really here, in my arms. It was as if I was alive again. As if his presence woke up my broken and lost heart.
"I love you, Satoshi." I whispered between our kisses.
"Love you too." Ohno smiled.
"Don't ever leave me again." I bawled.
"Never." Ohno cheered before nuzzling his face in my neck.
For the first time since his starts, I slept peacefully the whole night.
I opened my eyes, feeling a hot breath against my skin. A smile spread my lips when I saw Toshi in my arms, wrapping my body as an octopus with his rock. Butterflies invaded my stomach. So, Kami-sama really existed. Did I dream this horrible day?
Silently, I stood up and walked in the kitchen to prepare our breakfast. I hadn't any mission today, I'll be able to spend my day with Satoshi.
I was deep in my thoughts when I felt two arms wrapping my body from behind.
"Good morning." Ohno whispered against my back.
"Good morning, baby." I turned around and hugged him in my arms, bringing our lips in a deep kiss.
"Do you work today?" Ohno inquired.
"No. I'm all yours." I chimed, lifting him in my arms. Toshi wrapped his legs around me, to let me laid him down on the table. "I want you so bad!" I whispered, making him blush cutely as before.
"I'm yours." Ohno stroked my cheek, making me close my eyes to enjoy this sweet sensation.
"I missed you so bad." I beamed, thrusting inside of him. Satoshi moaned loudly but wrapped my waist with his legs, allowing me to take him deep and fast.
After a shower, my phone buzzed, getting a frown on my face.
"Hello?"
"Sho, I need you."
"Jun, I'm busy for the moment." I stated, looking at my Satoshi who was laid on the bed, naked.
"Please, I have some problem with a case."
"Explain."
"The man raped a boy but when I wanted to kill him, I saw he still had the child in his house."
"Shit!"
"Please, Sho, just for this time." Jun implored.
"Okay, I'm here in ten minutes." I sighed.
"Thank you!"
I closed my phone and climbed on top of my lover to kiss him roughly.
"Sho?" Ohno asked shyly.
"I have to go, Jun needs me. Will you be able to wait for me or do you want I bring you to Nino?" I quaked.
"No. It's okay, I trust you, I know you will never leave me." Ohno chimed.
"I'll come back quickly, my love." I stroked his face and kissed him a last time before standing up. Taking discreetly my gun, not to fear Toshi, I left quickly without seeing the tears rolling down my boyfriend's cheeks like a waterfall.
"Jun!" I waved my hand and walked toward my best friend.
"Thank you for coming."
"Where is he?"
"Inside. The boy is tied up on the bed." Jun whispered.
"This bastard!" I fumed.
"Take this door, I'll take this one."
I nodded and slipped into the house silently. It was dark and I could hear some sobs with a smirk.
"Please, no!" A voice cried.
"I know you like it, dear." A man smirked. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and the man sighed. "I'll come back quickly, my love, be quiet or it will be worse the next time."
I waited for the man to leave the room and walked inside silently. I froze when I saw what was in front of me. A boy, he seemed young but around 20 years old; was tied up on a bed. He was very thin, lots of bruises covering his naked body and his face. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, breaking my heart.
"Who are you?" The boy gasped.
"Tsss, I'm here to help you. What's your name?" I inquired.
"Aiba... Aiba Masaki." The boy sobbed. "Please, help me! Don't let him touch me again!" Aiba bursted into tears.
"Tsss, don't worry." I untied him and Aiba wrapped his arms around my neck, gripping me with despair. The boy screamed when he heard Jun's gun but I stroked his hair tenderly.
"It's okay, he won't arm you again." I carried him in my arms, covering his body with a blanket and walked in the living room where Jun was hiding the man's body.
"He is alive?" Jun asked.
"Yes but he needs to be healed. I'll bring him to my apartment."
"But Sho..."
"I know Satoshi will accept." I cut Jun off who nodded.
"If you are sure."
I nodded and laid Aiba down on the backseat, wrapping his thin body in another blanket.
"Where are we going?" Aiba asked weakly.
"In my apartment. My boyfriend will heal you, you'll see he is very kind. I'm Sho Sakurai by the way."
"Thank you, Sho-san." Aiba smiled before fainting.
When I arrived in my apartment, I laid Aiba on my bed under Satoshi's gaze. My lover didn't ask anything but I knew his mind should be a terrible mess.
"Sho, who this man is?" Ohno inquired when I collapsed on my sofa.
"A boy from my work."
"What do you mean?" Ohno frowned.
"I... I'm a professional killer. I kill the men who commit rapes or abuses on children."
"But..."
"It's because of your father and your uncle." I whispered.
"Why are you doing this? You're not a killer, Sho, you're a kind man." Ohno stated.
"I'm trying to kill these bastards! They deserve to die after what you went through, I have to protect you." I snapped. Ohno lowered his head, shaking in fear because of my tone.
"Babe, I'm sorry, I didn't want to fear you." I hugged him tightly against me but my boyfriend pushed me away.
"I don't recognize you, Sho... I-you aren't like th-at." Ohno stammered, tears shining in his eyes and left to lock himself up in our bedroom.
I sighed. I knew he was right but I needed that to survive, not to become crazy. A sudden scream made me jump and I rushed in the second bedroom, discovering the boy crying and hiting the gap.
"Aiba-san! Calm down!" I took him in my arms, clenching my jaw when he scratched my skin.
"No!!! Please, master, don't hit me!!!" Aiba screamed, struggling in my arms.
"You're safe, Aiba, he won't arm you anymore." I repeated, rocking him in my arms.
"Who... Who are you?" Aiba looked at me with scared eyes.
"I'm Sho, I saved you, your master is dead, he won't touch you again." I smiled, stroking his hair.
"I don't want to return there." Aiba bursted into tears, shivering in fear and burying his face against my chest.
"Tsss, you won't, I'm here for you, now." I whispered softly.
"Will you touch me too?" Aiba froze.
"No, I won't. Never. Nobody will touch you again." I smiled. After a moment, Aiba fell asleep in my arms. I laid him down and left the bedroom silently.
As Sato was still locked up in our bedroom, I slept on the sofa, but not too long because Aiba woke up several times this night, screaming and crying loudly. I stayed with him and fell asleep, Aiba in my arms.
****
"Do you have any family?" I asked Aiba after one week.
"I... No... I don't remember... Master was kipping me in the dark room and he hit me when...when I tried to remember." Aiba whispered weakly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you remember him." I hugged his shivering body.
I felt happy because Aiba was starting to trust me. He made me remember Satoshi at the beginning of our relationship when his trauma was still destroying him. I liked Aiba's fragility, his weaknesses and these beautiful eyes were all the kindness of the world was shining. It will take time to make Aiba trust me completely.
"Sho-chan?" Aiba asked one day while we were eating silently.
"Hai?"
"Could we go outside today?" Aiba required shyly.
"Of course, where do you want to go?"
"I don't know..."
"Humm, I know where we could go but it will be a surprise." I smiled.
"Hontou?" Aiba's eyes widened.
"Of course. I'll take a day-off and we'll go tomorrow." I grinned. Aiba smiled slightly but I could see the joy shining in his eyes.
"How Aiba is?" Toshi asked after a torrid love making.
"Better. I'll bring him somewhere tomorrow, do you want to come?"
"I... No..."
"Babe?"
"I... I'm still afraid... I need time to be normal." Ohno whispered.
"How many times did I tell you you're not abnormal!!" I snapped, getting up and leaving our bedroom.
"Sh-o!" I heard Ohno calling me but ignored him and lightened a cigarette.
"I love you as you are. With your fears and your weaknesses." I whispered when I heard my boyfriend sitting next to me.
"I know... I... I'm sorry... I... Sorry." Ohno stammered.
"When will you stop thinking like that?" I sighed.
"I need time... I... I took an appointment with Takeda-san for tomorrow."
"I'm glad." I smiled, knowing his psychologist will appease him.
"I love...you, Sho..." Ohno said shyly.
"Come on, my love." I smiled, opening my arms and my lover sat on my lap to bury his face in my neck. "I love you more than anything." I whispered. Satoshi grinned and kissed me shyly, his hand stroking my cheek softly.
****
"Where are we going?" Aiba asked for the nth time.
"You'll see in five minutes." I smirked.
"Mouuu." Aiba pouted cutely.
I laughed happily. We left my car, Aiba holding my arm in fear.
"The zoo?"
"Hun. I thought you were the kind of person who loves animals." I nodded. We entered the big zoo and walked toward the first animals.
"Sho-chan, look, aren't they cute?!" Aiba showed me the baby lions excitedly.
"They are." I grinned, following an hyperactive Aiba who was showing every animals with a big smile. I felt so happy. Aiba was smiling widely for the first time and he really was beautiful when his eyes shined in happiness.
"And this one! Ohhh, kawai desu, ne?! I want the same!!" Aiba exclaimed, looking at the pandas.
"He has your puppy eyes." I laughed.
"Mouuu, you're not kind, Sho-chan!" Aiba pouted cutely.
"Gomen, gomen." I smiled, patting his head.
"I want to see the tigers!" Aiba took my hand, making me shiver and blink in surprise. He didn't release my hand for the rest of the day.
"We should leave, Masaki." I grinned, exhausted.
"Hai." Aiba nodded and we left, holding each other's hand as if it was the most natural thing of the world.
This day changed Aiba's attitude toward me. Now, he trusted me and always hugged me or smiled at me. To be honest, I liked it. I loved to be close to him, his beautiful smile healed my heart and his kindness warmed me. I felt comfortable with Aiba, as if we knew each other since a long time. But these strange feelings scared me. I was in love with Satoshi but as time passed, my mind was always thinking about Aiba. It was an obsession.
"Sho-chan?" Aiba asked me one day while we were watching a movie.
"Hun?"
"I... I..." Aiba blushed deeply, staring at his hands.
"What's wrong, Ma-chan?"
"I...might...like you..." Aiba whispered shyly.
"Eh?!"
"I really like you, Sho-chan."
"I... I'm sorry, Masaki but even if I feel the same, I have a boyfriend." I said softly.
"But I love you so much!" Aiba protested, tears shining in his eyes.
"Don't cry, Ma-chan, please." I put my hand on his cheek.
"But... But I thought you...that maybe you liked me." Aiba sobbed.
"I do. But I love my boyfriend, you still have a big trauma and I think you just like what I did for you..."
"NO! I love Sho-chan, that's all!" Aiba snapped and before I could react, smacked our lips together.
"Masa..." I started but Aiba slipped his tongue in my mouth and I lost my will, kissing him back roughly. I laid him down on the sofa, my hands, stroking his skin and taking his clothes off. Soon, we both were naked, brushing our hard members together in loud moans. I knew it was bad but I couldn't stop my body and prepared Aiba quickly before entering him slowly in a loud scream of pleasure. Gosh, he was so tight! I took him roughly, hitting his secret spot again and again, our mouths devouring each other's, our hands looking for every parts of skin. Aiba grabbed my butt, pressing me on his body an making me slip further inside of him. Everything was perfect. I was screaming my pleasure in the whole apartment while Aiba was moaning my name at every thrusts I was making inside of him. When we came at the same time, I collapsed and hugged him against me, his back against me chest. I was kissing his birthmark, desire coming back in my stomach and I slipped inside of him again but this time, we stayed on our sides, my hips undulating harder and faster, stealing him loud moans.
"Sho!!! Oh, Gosh, Sho!!!" Aiba screamed, slamming his butt against my hips, my cock slipping far inside of him. I groaned and bit his shoulder when we came hard for the second time, panting heavily.
"Masaki..." I whispered.
"I would like you to make love to me the whole night." Aiba cut me off.
"I would like too." I smiled and held my promise. I took him on the table, made love to him on my bed, allowing him to grip the sheets in pleasure, fucked him against the wall, on the ground, in the shower. We finished in my bed, holding each other and falling asleep, exhausted.
When I woke up, I blinked, seeing Masaki in my arms, naked. What the fuck?! What did I do?! I had cheated on Toshi!!! I pushed Aiba and took a cold shower. God, what did I do?!!!
"Good morning." Aiba kissed my neck while I was preparing my breakfast.
"Aiba, listen, I have something to tell you."
"Hun?"
"Yesterday night was an error. I mean... I loved it, it was wonderful but I love Satoshi." I whispered. Aiba looked at me with sadness, pain shining in his beautiful eyes.
"I think I've done everything I could." Aiba sighed before standing up and walking in his bedroom. I frowned. What did he mean?
"Aiba?"
"You know... I tried... I really tried but you will never see me nor forget him." Aiba smiled, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What do you mean?"
"Sho... You need help... You are destroying yourself and I can't bear it anymore. I tried to make you forget and remember me but... It's him since the beginning. You never loved me." Aiba sobbed.
"Eh?!"
"Sho-chan, Satoshi-san died two years ago. He didn't survive, you are talking with a ghost and as your boyfriend, I tried to make you overcome this trauma but...but I failed. I'm so sorry, Sho, for not being able to make you move on." Aiba cried, taking his suitcase.
"I don't understand!"
"Ask Jun. I'm tired, I need to live my life and to forget my love for you alone. Forgive me, Sho." Aiba sobbed and left the apartment.
What was that?! What did he mean?! Satoshi was still alive! He never died! I ran in our bedroom and opened the drawers but there weren't Toshi's belongings anymore. I looked at the pictures on the walls but it wasn't Ohno but Aiba with me. I looked at the date.
Masaki and Me
24/01/2015
I released the picture, shocked. What was happening?!
****
"Jun!!!" I knocked on the door violently.
"Sho? What are you doing here?!"
"I need your help!!!"
We sat on his sofa, my friend holding me out a cup of tea.
"Satoshi died two years ago. It was horrible, you changed completely and were refusing his death. You were talking alone, as if he was still here and despite what Kazu and I were saying, you didn't believe us. Six months later, we had a new target but this time, there was a boy..."
"Masaki..."
"Yes. Aiba. He was making horrible crisis and you brought him at your apartment. It was as if you two were bonded. You were sharing a mysterious connection and Aiba started to overcome his trauma with you. One year later, two get drunk and slept together. I thought it was very good because maybe you will stop thinking about Ohchan but despite your love for Aiba, you kept talking alone or confounding him with Satoshi. Masaki never gave up and tried to make you remember who he was and to forget Ohno. Sometimes you were conscious and remembered him but since eight months, you are confounding him with Ohchan again."
"You mean all this time, it was Masaki? I made love to him believing it was Toshi?" I whispered, my face as white as a ghost.
"Yes. Aiba called me earlier and told me what happened yesterday. Sho, it's time to move on, now, you have to forget Ohno and live your life." Jun said, patting my shoulder.
I couldn't believe what Jun was telling me... Did I do that? Did I destroy Masa like that?! How could I be so stupid?!
I left his apartment quickly, running like I never did. I had to find him! I had to apology for what I made him through. I ran in my apartment but the lights were off.
"Masa?" I called when I heard a noise. "Masaki?" I walked in the living room and saw the TV on. In the screen there was a movie. Jun and Nino were teasing each other while I was laid on the grass, Masaki's head on my lap. Aiba was laughing loudly, trying to catch the strawberry in my hand with his mouth.
"Mouuuu Sho-channnn give it to me!" Aiba pouted.
"Catch it my love." I was smiling. Aiba stood up and pushed me on the ground before climbing on top of me to tickle me.
"Stop, stop, please!!!" I bursted in laughing.
"Who was teasing me two minutes ago?" Aiba smirked but stopped to kiss me. I wrapped his neck with my arms and pressed his body against mine.
"I love you Sho-chan." Aiba smiled between our lips.
"Me too, Satoshi..." Aiba froze.
"What's wrong, babe?" I asked.
"Nothing." Aiba forced a smile but pain was shining in his chocolate eyes.
I stared at the screen with wide eyes. Suddenly, a sob made me jump and I saw Masaki in a corner, crying and drinking a bottle of vodka
"Ma-chan..."
"I... I always hoped you would see me one day but...but there always was "Satoshi" in your mouth." Aiba sobbed.
"I'm so sorry, my love, I..."
"Don't touch me!" Aiba snapped when I approached him.
"Please, babe, I'm so sorry."
"It's funny because for almost two years, I never said anything. It killed me when you called me Satoshi, when you made love to me, whispering "I love you so much Toshi", when you said "happy birthday" and had written Satoshi's name on my present. I... You are destroying me, Sho but I never said anything because my love for you was too strong. You saved me from this bastard and gave me a new life but now, I wonder if I didn't prefer my master because, the pain he did to me was physical and not in my heart." Aiba cried.
"Why?! Why are so cruel with me?! I... I know I made you suffer, I know I deserve to die but I... I really love you, Masaki. You saved me. Even if I was calling you Satoshi, I knew deep in my heart that it wasn't him but you. You helped me to overcome my trauma, to stay alive, to..."
"To stay alive??!!! Are you kidding or definitely stupid?! You are a zombie, Sho. Since Ohchan's death you are living through this stupid hatred, the revenge and it's not a life! Your friends don't know what to do to make you come back to reality! You are making love and living with a dead man!!!" Aiba yelled.
"I... No..."
"Oh yes! Do you know how it feels when your own boyfriend is whispering his ex's name?! I... I can't handle it anymore, I... I... I just want to die! You riped my heart and destroyed my life, Sho!!!"
"Pease, Masaki, I... I'm sorry, I will do everything to make you forget and make you happy! Please, don't leave, I'm nothing without you!" I implored, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"And you will call me "Satoshi" tomorrow again?! And you will leave to kill another man for your useless revenge?! No. I can't bear it anymore. It's over Sho. And you should see a psychologist to stop this hatred that are eating your heart." Aiba snapped and taking his suitcase, left my apartment, slamming the door.
I fell on my knees, crying loudly. Why? Why all that was happening to me?! Why couldn't I live happy? Why did I hurt the most important person of my life?!
"Arrrggggg!!!!" I cried, taking my head in my hands.
****
"Kazu..."
"I know I didn't ask you but... After what I went through... I can't let her kill her baby... He doesn't deserve it..."
"But the father..."
"She doesn't know who he is. Jun, please, I know I..."
"I want to adopt him too." Jun cut his lover off with a smile.
"Eh?!"
"I always wanted a baby but as I'm gay, I knew it would be impossible."
"You... You really want this baby?" Nino stammered.
"Yes. I want a baby with you my love." Jun stroked his lover's cheek who smiled widely but soon, frowned.
"Jun... I really want a baby with you but I can't raise a child alone... I mean, I can't raise him and have to explain to him why maybe his father will not come back one day." Nino whispered.
"You mean..."
"Yes, Jun. I want you to stop your job." Nino said with determination.
"I..."
"I know it's selfish but every day when you leave this house, I cry because I wonder if you will be in our bed the next day or if a policeman will arrive to tell me you are dead. It's already horrible for me and I don't want that for my baby." Nino explained softly. Jun stared at his boyfriend for a while without a word before the young killer hugged him tightly.
"Alright. I'll stop." Jun whispered.
"Re-really?" Nino raised his eyes in disbelief.
"Yes. You are right. I can't impose that to our child and I'm hurting you because of this job. I'll stop as soon as possible and we will see your sister to tell her we want this baby. You are my first priority Kazunari and I'll prove it to you." Jun smiled.
"Thank you, J! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you!" Nino cried in his lover's neck.
"Me too, babe. And I promise I'll help Sho to stop this revenge too." Jun grinned.
"We are going to have a baby, Jun! Our baby!" Nino exclaimed happily. Jun chuckled, promising to himself he will find a way to save his best friend and Aiba from this mess.
****
PART 2
Author: MatsuAurore
Pairing: Yama
Rating: R
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst
Disclaimer: This is an epilogue or maybe a sequel of my Yama fic, A broken promise.
Summary: After a traumatic experience, Sho's mind is on the line. Emptiness, sadness and pain are eating and killing him slowly. But if a miracle could give him back his smile and his happiness?
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
PART 1/2
"No, please!!!" The man begged, raising his arms to protect himself.
"Did you stop when you raped this boy?!" I asked coldly, my gun against his temple.
"I'm sorry!"
"You can be sorry, bastard! A shit like you deserves to die." I smirked.
"Please, I..." But I shot, the bullet sinking in his head.
The man collapsed on the ground, dead. I hit his body with my foot, disgust shining on my face.
Grabbing my bag, I left the house, without looking behind my back. This bastard deserved it! He wasn't a human but just a shit! I kept repeating in my mind, trying to convince myself.
When I entered my house, I walked in my bathroom and looked at my face through the mirror. There still was some blood on my cheek. I wiped it quickly and went under the hot water to erase this new murder. But despite the shower, I still felt the blood on my skin.
I collapsed on my bed. Again, I won't sleep or maybe only one hour if I'm lucky.
Suddenly, I heard a noise and grabbed the gun under my pillow before standing up silently. My living room was dark but there was a shadow on the corner, at His place.
"Who are you?!" I asked, raising my gun.
"Hello, Sho."
"Satoshi?!" I released my gun, shocked.
"I missed you." My ex lover smiled shyly.
"But... But you are dead." I stammered, my hands shaking in fear.
"No, I'm really here. I didn't die this day, you always thought my father had killed me."
"Baby!!!" I ran toward him and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly, tears rolling down my face.
"Sho." Ohno froze a bit but hugged me back.
"Baby... I'm missed you so bad... I... I... Oh, babe, I love you so much, my love!!!" I cried in his neck, kissing his skin again and again.
"I love you too, Sho-chan." Satoshi whispered.
"Satoshi!" I stroked his cheek before catching his lips hungrily.
When I laid him down on the bed and made love to him, my joy came back after all this time. If it was a dream, I didn't want to wake up. Never! I collapsed next to Satoshi who hugged me tightly, wrapping his leg around my waist. We kissed each other tenderly for some minutes, my hands stroking every parts of his skin, to be sure he was really here, in my arms. It was as if I was alive again. As if his presence woke up my broken and lost heart.
"I love you, Satoshi." I whispered between our kisses.
"Love you too." Ohno smiled.
"Don't ever leave me again." I bawled.
"Never." Ohno cheered before nuzzling his face in my neck.
For the first time since his starts, I slept peacefully the whole night.
I opened my eyes, feeling a hot breath against my skin. A smile spread my lips when I saw Toshi in my arms, wrapping my body as an octopus with his rock. Butterflies invaded my stomach. So, Kami-sama really existed. Did I dream this horrible day?
Silently, I stood up and walked in the kitchen to prepare our breakfast. I hadn't any mission today, I'll be able to spend my day with Satoshi.
I was deep in my thoughts when I felt two arms wrapping my body from behind.
"Good morning." Ohno whispered against my back.
"Good morning, baby." I turned around and hugged him in my arms, bringing our lips in a deep kiss.
"Do you work today?" Ohno inquired.
"No. I'm all yours." I chimed, lifting him in my arms. Toshi wrapped his legs around me, to let me laid him down on the table. "I want you so bad!" I whispered, making him blush cutely as before.
"I'm yours." Ohno stroked my cheek, making me close my eyes to enjoy this sweet sensation.
"I missed you so bad." I beamed, thrusting inside of him. Satoshi moaned loudly but wrapped my waist with his legs, allowing me to take him deep and fast.
After a shower, my phone buzzed, getting a frown on my face.
"Hello?"
"Sho, I need you."
"Jun, I'm busy for the moment." I stated, looking at my Satoshi who was laid on the bed, naked.
"Please, I have some problem with a case."
"Explain."
"The man raped a boy but when I wanted to kill him, I saw he still had the child in his house."
"Shit!"
"Please, Sho, just for this time." Jun implored.
"Okay, I'm here in ten minutes." I sighed.
"Thank you!"
I closed my phone and climbed on top of my lover to kiss him roughly.
"Sho?" Ohno asked shyly.
"I have to go, Jun needs me. Will you be able to wait for me or do you want I bring you to Nino?" I quaked.
"No. It's okay, I trust you, I know you will never leave me." Ohno chimed.
"I'll come back quickly, my love." I stroked his face and kissed him a last time before standing up. Taking discreetly my gun, not to fear Toshi, I left quickly without seeing the tears rolling down my boyfriend's cheeks like a waterfall.
"Jun!" I waved my hand and walked toward my best friend.
"Thank you for coming."
"Where is he?"
"Inside. The boy is tied up on the bed." Jun whispered.
"This bastard!" I fumed.
"Take this door, I'll take this one."
I nodded and slipped into the house silently. It was dark and I could hear some sobs with a smirk.
"Please, no!" A voice cried.
"I know you like it, dear." A man smirked. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and the man sighed. "I'll come back quickly, my love, be quiet or it will be worse the next time."
I waited for the man to leave the room and walked inside silently. I froze when I saw what was in front of me. A boy, he seemed young but around 20 years old; was tied up on a bed. He was very thin, lots of bruises covering his naked body and his face. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, breaking my heart.
"Who are you?" The boy gasped.
"Tsss, I'm here to help you. What's your name?" I inquired.
"Aiba... Aiba Masaki." The boy sobbed. "Please, help me! Don't let him touch me again!" Aiba bursted into tears.
"Tsss, don't worry." I untied him and Aiba wrapped his arms around my neck, gripping me with despair. The boy screamed when he heard Jun's gun but I stroked his hair tenderly.
"It's okay, he won't arm you again." I carried him in my arms, covering his body with a blanket and walked in the living room where Jun was hiding the man's body.
"He is alive?" Jun asked.
"Yes but he needs to be healed. I'll bring him to my apartment."
"But Sho..."
"I know Satoshi will accept." I cut Jun off who nodded.
"If you are sure."
I nodded and laid Aiba down on the backseat, wrapping his thin body in another blanket.
"Where are we going?" Aiba asked weakly.
"In my apartment. My boyfriend will heal you, you'll see he is very kind. I'm Sho Sakurai by the way."
"Thank you, Sho-san." Aiba smiled before fainting.
When I arrived in my apartment, I laid Aiba on my bed under Satoshi's gaze. My lover didn't ask anything but I knew his mind should be a terrible mess.
"Sho, who this man is?" Ohno inquired when I collapsed on my sofa.
"A boy from my work."
"What do you mean?" Ohno frowned.
"I... I'm a professional killer. I kill the men who commit rapes or abuses on children."
"But..."
"It's because of your father and your uncle." I whispered.
"Why are you doing this? You're not a killer, Sho, you're a kind man." Ohno stated.
"I'm trying to kill these bastards! They deserve to die after what you went through, I have to protect you." I snapped. Ohno lowered his head, shaking in fear because of my tone.
"Babe, I'm sorry, I didn't want to fear you." I hugged him tightly against me but my boyfriend pushed me away.
"I don't recognize you, Sho... I-you aren't like th-at." Ohno stammered, tears shining in his eyes and left to lock himself up in our bedroom.
I sighed. I knew he was right but I needed that to survive, not to become crazy. A sudden scream made me jump and I rushed in the second bedroom, discovering the boy crying and hiting the gap.
"Aiba-san! Calm down!" I took him in my arms, clenching my jaw when he scratched my skin.
"No!!! Please, master, don't hit me!!!" Aiba screamed, struggling in my arms.
"You're safe, Aiba, he won't arm you anymore." I repeated, rocking him in my arms.
"Who... Who are you?" Aiba looked at me with scared eyes.
"I'm Sho, I saved you, your master is dead, he won't touch you again." I smiled, stroking his hair.
"I don't want to return there." Aiba bursted into tears, shivering in fear and burying his face against my chest.
"Tsss, you won't, I'm here for you, now." I whispered softly.
"Will you touch me too?" Aiba froze.
"No, I won't. Never. Nobody will touch you again." I smiled. After a moment, Aiba fell asleep in my arms. I laid him down and left the bedroom silently.
As Sato was still locked up in our bedroom, I slept on the sofa, but not too long because Aiba woke up several times this night, screaming and crying loudly. I stayed with him and fell asleep, Aiba in my arms.
****
"Do you have any family?" I asked Aiba after one week.
"I... No... I don't remember... Master was kipping me in the dark room and he hit me when...when I tried to remember." Aiba whispered weakly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you remember him." I hugged his shivering body.
I felt happy because Aiba was starting to trust me. He made me remember Satoshi at the beginning of our relationship when his trauma was still destroying him. I liked Aiba's fragility, his weaknesses and these beautiful eyes were all the kindness of the world was shining. It will take time to make Aiba trust me completely.
"Sho-chan?" Aiba asked one day while we were eating silently.
"Hai?"
"Could we go outside today?" Aiba required shyly.
"Of course, where do you want to go?"
"I don't know..."
"Humm, I know where we could go but it will be a surprise." I smiled.
"Hontou?" Aiba's eyes widened.
"Of course. I'll take a day-off and we'll go tomorrow." I grinned. Aiba smiled slightly but I could see the joy shining in his eyes.
"How Aiba is?" Toshi asked after a torrid love making.
"Better. I'll bring him somewhere tomorrow, do you want to come?"
"I... No..."
"Babe?"
"I... I'm still afraid... I need time to be normal." Ohno whispered.
"How many times did I tell you you're not abnormal!!" I snapped, getting up and leaving our bedroom.
"Sh-o!" I heard Ohno calling me but ignored him and lightened a cigarette.
"I love you as you are. With your fears and your weaknesses." I whispered when I heard my boyfriend sitting next to me.
"I know... I... I'm sorry... I... Sorry." Ohno stammered.
"When will you stop thinking like that?" I sighed.
"I need time... I... I took an appointment with Takeda-san for tomorrow."
"I'm glad." I smiled, knowing his psychologist will appease him.
"I love...you, Sho..." Ohno said shyly.
"Come on, my love." I smiled, opening my arms and my lover sat on my lap to bury his face in my neck. "I love you more than anything." I whispered. Satoshi grinned and kissed me shyly, his hand stroking my cheek softly.
****
"Where are we going?" Aiba asked for the nth time.
"You'll see in five minutes." I smirked.
"Mouuu." Aiba pouted cutely.
I laughed happily. We left my car, Aiba holding my arm in fear.
"The zoo?"
"Hun. I thought you were the kind of person who loves animals." I nodded. We entered the big zoo and walked toward the first animals.
"Sho-chan, look, aren't they cute?!" Aiba showed me the baby lions excitedly.
"They are." I grinned, following an hyperactive Aiba who was showing every animals with a big smile. I felt so happy. Aiba was smiling widely for the first time and he really was beautiful when his eyes shined in happiness.
"And this one! Ohhh, kawai desu, ne?! I want the same!!" Aiba exclaimed, looking at the pandas.
"He has your puppy eyes." I laughed.
"Mouuu, you're not kind, Sho-chan!" Aiba pouted cutely.
"Gomen, gomen." I smiled, patting his head.
"I want to see the tigers!" Aiba took my hand, making me shiver and blink in surprise. He didn't release my hand for the rest of the day.
"We should leave, Masaki." I grinned, exhausted.
"Hai." Aiba nodded and we left, holding each other's hand as if it was the most natural thing of the world.
This day changed Aiba's attitude toward me. Now, he trusted me and always hugged me or smiled at me. To be honest, I liked it. I loved to be close to him, his beautiful smile healed my heart and his kindness warmed me. I felt comfortable with Aiba, as if we knew each other since a long time. But these strange feelings scared me. I was in love with Satoshi but as time passed, my mind was always thinking about Aiba. It was an obsession.
"Sho-chan?" Aiba asked me one day while we were watching a movie.
"Hun?"
"I... I..." Aiba blushed deeply, staring at his hands.
"What's wrong, Ma-chan?"
"I...might...like you..." Aiba whispered shyly.
"Eh?!"
"I really like you, Sho-chan."
"I... I'm sorry, Masaki but even if I feel the same, I have a boyfriend." I said softly.
"But I love you so much!" Aiba protested, tears shining in his eyes.
"Don't cry, Ma-chan, please." I put my hand on his cheek.
"But... But I thought you...that maybe you liked me." Aiba sobbed.
"I do. But I love my boyfriend, you still have a big trauma and I think you just like what I did for you..."
"NO! I love Sho-chan, that's all!" Aiba snapped and before I could react, smacked our lips together.
"Masa..." I started but Aiba slipped his tongue in my mouth and I lost my will, kissing him back roughly. I laid him down on the sofa, my hands, stroking his skin and taking his clothes off. Soon, we both were naked, brushing our hard members together in loud moans. I knew it was bad but I couldn't stop my body and prepared Aiba quickly before entering him slowly in a loud scream of pleasure. Gosh, he was so tight! I took him roughly, hitting his secret spot again and again, our mouths devouring each other's, our hands looking for every parts of skin. Aiba grabbed my butt, pressing me on his body an making me slip further inside of him. Everything was perfect. I was screaming my pleasure in the whole apartment while Aiba was moaning my name at every thrusts I was making inside of him. When we came at the same time, I collapsed and hugged him against me, his back against me chest. I was kissing his birthmark, desire coming back in my stomach and I slipped inside of him again but this time, we stayed on our sides, my hips undulating harder and faster, stealing him loud moans.
"Sho!!! Oh, Gosh, Sho!!!" Aiba screamed, slamming his butt against my hips, my cock slipping far inside of him. I groaned and bit his shoulder when we came hard for the second time, panting heavily.
"Masaki..." I whispered.
"I would like you to make love to me the whole night." Aiba cut me off.
"I would like too." I smiled and held my promise. I took him on the table, made love to him on my bed, allowing him to grip the sheets in pleasure, fucked him against the wall, on the ground, in the shower. We finished in my bed, holding each other and falling asleep, exhausted.
When I woke up, I blinked, seeing Masaki in my arms, naked. What the fuck?! What did I do?! I had cheated on Toshi!!! I pushed Aiba and took a cold shower. God, what did I do?!!!
"Good morning." Aiba kissed my neck while I was preparing my breakfast.
"Aiba, listen, I have something to tell you."
"Hun?"
"Yesterday night was an error. I mean... I loved it, it was wonderful but I love Satoshi." I whispered. Aiba looked at me with sadness, pain shining in his beautiful eyes.
"I think I've done everything I could." Aiba sighed before standing up and walking in his bedroom. I frowned. What did he mean?
"Aiba?"
"You know... I tried... I really tried but you will never see me nor forget him." Aiba smiled, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What do you mean?"
"Sho... You need help... You are destroying yourself and I can't bear it anymore. I tried to make you forget and remember me but... It's him since the beginning. You never loved me." Aiba sobbed.
"Eh?!"
"Sho-chan, Satoshi-san died two years ago. He didn't survive, you are talking with a ghost and as your boyfriend, I tried to make you overcome this trauma but...but I failed. I'm so sorry, Sho, for not being able to make you move on." Aiba cried, taking his suitcase.
"I don't understand!"
"Ask Jun. I'm tired, I need to live my life and to forget my love for you alone. Forgive me, Sho." Aiba sobbed and left the apartment.
What was that?! What did he mean?! Satoshi was still alive! He never died! I ran in our bedroom and opened the drawers but there weren't Toshi's belongings anymore. I looked at the pictures on the walls but it wasn't Ohno but Aiba with me. I looked at the date.
Masaki and Me
24/01/2015
I released the picture, shocked. What was happening?!
****
"Jun!!!" I knocked on the door violently.
"Sho? What are you doing here?!"
"I need your help!!!"
We sat on his sofa, my friend holding me out a cup of tea.
"Satoshi died two years ago. It was horrible, you changed completely and were refusing his death. You were talking alone, as if he was still here and despite what Kazu and I were saying, you didn't believe us. Six months later, we had a new target but this time, there was a boy..."
"Masaki..."
"Yes. Aiba. He was making horrible crisis and you brought him at your apartment. It was as if you two were bonded. You were sharing a mysterious connection and Aiba started to overcome his trauma with you. One year later, two get drunk and slept together. I thought it was very good because maybe you will stop thinking about Ohchan but despite your love for Aiba, you kept talking alone or confounding him with Satoshi. Masaki never gave up and tried to make you remember who he was and to forget Ohno. Sometimes you were conscious and remembered him but since eight months, you are confounding him with Ohchan again."
"You mean all this time, it was Masaki? I made love to him believing it was Toshi?" I whispered, my face as white as a ghost.
"Yes. Aiba called me earlier and told me what happened yesterday. Sho, it's time to move on, now, you have to forget Ohno and live your life." Jun said, patting my shoulder.
I couldn't believe what Jun was telling me... Did I do that? Did I destroy Masa like that?! How could I be so stupid?!
I left his apartment quickly, running like I never did. I had to find him! I had to apology for what I made him through. I ran in my apartment but the lights were off.
"Masa?" I called when I heard a noise. "Masaki?" I walked in the living room and saw the TV on. In the screen there was a movie. Jun and Nino were teasing each other while I was laid on the grass, Masaki's head on my lap. Aiba was laughing loudly, trying to catch the strawberry in my hand with his mouth.
"Mouuuu Sho-channnn give it to me!" Aiba pouted.
"Catch it my love." I was smiling. Aiba stood up and pushed me on the ground before climbing on top of me to tickle me.
"Stop, stop, please!!!" I bursted in laughing.
"Who was teasing me two minutes ago?" Aiba smirked but stopped to kiss me. I wrapped his neck with my arms and pressed his body against mine.
"I love you Sho-chan." Aiba smiled between our lips.
"Me too, Satoshi..." Aiba froze.
"What's wrong, babe?" I asked.
"Nothing." Aiba forced a smile but pain was shining in his chocolate eyes.
I stared at the screen with wide eyes. Suddenly, a sob made me jump and I saw Masaki in a corner, crying and drinking a bottle of vodka
"Ma-chan..."
"I... I always hoped you would see me one day but...but there always was "Satoshi" in your mouth." Aiba sobbed.
"I'm so sorry, my love, I..."
"Don't touch me!" Aiba snapped when I approached him.
"Please, babe, I'm so sorry."
"It's funny because for almost two years, I never said anything. It killed me when you called me Satoshi, when you made love to me, whispering "I love you so much Toshi", when you said "happy birthday" and had written Satoshi's name on my present. I... You are destroying me, Sho but I never said anything because my love for you was too strong. You saved me from this bastard and gave me a new life but now, I wonder if I didn't prefer my master because, the pain he did to me was physical and not in my heart." Aiba cried.
"Why?! Why are so cruel with me?! I... I know I made you suffer, I know I deserve to die but I... I really love you, Masaki. You saved me. Even if I was calling you Satoshi, I knew deep in my heart that it wasn't him but you. You helped me to overcome my trauma, to stay alive, to..."
"To stay alive??!!! Are you kidding or definitely stupid?! You are a zombie, Sho. Since Ohchan's death you are living through this stupid hatred, the revenge and it's not a life! Your friends don't know what to do to make you come back to reality! You are making love and living with a dead man!!!" Aiba yelled.
"I... No..."
"Oh yes! Do you know how it feels when your own boyfriend is whispering his ex's name?! I... I can't handle it anymore, I... I... I just want to die! You riped my heart and destroyed my life, Sho!!!"
"Pease, Masaki, I... I'm sorry, I will do everything to make you forget and make you happy! Please, don't leave, I'm nothing without you!" I implored, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"And you will call me "Satoshi" tomorrow again?! And you will leave to kill another man for your useless revenge?! No. I can't bear it anymore. It's over Sho. And you should see a psychologist to stop this hatred that are eating your heart." Aiba snapped and taking his suitcase, left my apartment, slamming the door.
I fell on my knees, crying loudly. Why? Why all that was happening to me?! Why couldn't I live happy? Why did I hurt the most important person of my life?!
"Arrrggggg!!!!" I cried, taking my head in my hands.
****
"Kazu..."
"I know I didn't ask you but... After what I went through... I can't let her kill her baby... He doesn't deserve it..."
"But the father..."
"She doesn't know who he is. Jun, please, I know I..."
"I want to adopt him too." Jun cut his lover off with a smile.
"Eh?!"
"I always wanted a baby but as I'm gay, I knew it would be impossible."
"You... You really want this baby?" Nino stammered.
"Yes. I want a baby with you my love." Jun stroked his lover's cheek who smiled widely but soon, frowned.
"Jun... I really want a baby with you but I can't raise a child alone... I mean, I can't raise him and have to explain to him why maybe his father will not come back one day." Nino whispered.
"You mean..."
"Yes, Jun. I want you to stop your job." Nino said with determination.
"I..."
"I know it's selfish but every day when you leave this house, I cry because I wonder if you will be in our bed the next day or if a policeman will arrive to tell me you are dead. It's already horrible for me and I don't want that for my baby." Nino explained softly. Jun stared at his boyfriend for a while without a word before the young killer hugged him tightly.
"Alright. I'll stop." Jun whispered.
"Re-really?" Nino raised his eyes in disbelief.
"Yes. You are right. I can't impose that to our child and I'm hurting you because of this job. I'll stop as soon as possible and we will see your sister to tell her we want this baby. You are my first priority Kazunari and I'll prove it to you." Jun smiled.
"Thank you, J! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you!" Nino cried in his lover's neck.
"Me too, babe. And I promise I'll help Sho to stop this revenge too." Jun grinned.
"We are going to have a baby, Jun! Our baby!" Nino exclaimed happily. Jun chuckled, promising to himself he will find a way to save his best friend and Aiba from this mess.
****
PART 2