i have a totally awesome best friend. she lives in texas and says she doesnt listen to country music, but i think she secretly loves country music. her name is lauren jones, but shes not related to tommy lee jones. she likes bud lite as much as i do, and our parents are the same ages apart. and one time she broke a shot glass in a store in little ( Read more... )

friday was my sisters sweet 16 party, it was so much fun. i have the best relatives in the world. there were cameras at all the tables, and aunt kathy took pictures of grandma seeing how many hershey kisses she could fit in her nose and ears. uncle jim gave aunt leslie a lap dance. best family ever award.

my dad has a ton of power tools in the garage, so i decided to make some stuff and see how it goes. i made my friend lauren a surfboard work table, and i fixed the collapsed staircase in ken and tims house. i think i found a new hobby :0)

i cant believe michael jackson was found not guilty on all his charges. people in this fucking country honestly make the worst decisions. im suprised slavery ever got abolished.

note to self! - playing edward 40 hands when you have work early the next morning is probably not the best idea ever. but it is probably one of the most fun ideas ever. making my irish ancestors proud all the way lskewqwrjalksjadf

i hate people who point at their wrist while asking for the time. i know where my watch is, asshole. do i point at my crotch when i ask where the toilet is ( Read more... )

from now on im always driving with my seatbelt on. today i saw something that i never want to see again. i saw a truck run a red light and slam into the side of an suv. the suv flipped over and landed upsidedown in someone's yard. i was driving home on inman ave, driving right behind the suv, and my car was showered with broken glass. i went home ( Read more... )

www.wholewheatbread.net

watch the video. black people fucking rule. haha

new sn: omgimmattharris

last sn change, i swear.

hi
im matt
my parents went out so im walking around my house buck ass naked
eating an apple
standing at my back window waving to the little kid across the yard
...with my weenis
and lauren is telling me to put some clothes on
cause im wierd

actually this is lauren
but matt really is doing what i just said
ew
make him put his clothes back on


( Read more... )