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2023 bucket list
2023 i am dedicating towards completing a bucket list item... half marathon. Goal: Las Vegas Half Marathon 2024.
Do i need a full year and some to train? No but i gotta start somewhere.
Wish me luck
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Last night I almost made a mistake.... heartbreak
My generation there was AIM or yahoo private chat. Now theres so many more options.
A few nights ago i had a low night and downloaded whisper. Not for anything bad just to entertain myself with the posts. Last night i posted a 'rate me' photo. Within 5 minutes my inbox was flooded with comments. It was ego boosting and then i started messaging back ( Read more... ) -
The nights are always the hardest until morning comes... heart break chapter 2
The nights are always the hardest. As im getting ready for bed those little pings of hurt cross my mind.
Who is he with?
Who's sleeping in my place?
Was it real? Is this real?
You aren't the one i want to be thinking of but you always show up.
The nights are always hard when i wake up in a cold sweat from some nightmare. Dark images flood my mind as i ( Read more... ) -
Simply... love lost
We are finally here together again. The time before last was when my family life got turned upside down. The last time you and i sat and talked and i thought you still cared about me. Even in the slightest i thought maybe just maybe there was a way for us to be friends.
What a fool i was... now i know that you betrayed me, you were the one that ( Read more... ) -
This is never going to work... love lost
As i sit outside my old house because i physically cant get out of the car to go inside i understand a few things about my new life. I cant have you in it. I would love to still be friends and be a part of your future but i cant. Because of the people i keep and the people you keep i cant be around you. Our minds are to different and theyve already ( Read more... ) -
Fuck em... to love lost
Fuck em
Fuck the 9 years we were together and the life you wanted
Fuck the change you wanted to see in yourself
Fuck the time and memories we shared
Fuck the energy i spent on you and the dreams you made me dream
Fuck the triggers you created and the fear i lived in
Fuck you
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Heart break: season 2
I love hard and fast. Whole heartedly. But once the trust is betrayed in the slightest way i pull back and am overily causious for the remainder.
How do i gain that trust back? How do i trust my partner?
My partner has gone above and beyond to make amends and i have forgiven them for the action but i find myself slipping into the same triggers again ( Read more... ) -
The turn of a new life
For 8 years I have been with my ex-spouse. 5 years dating and 3 years married, this was my longest relationship and to believe that it is over still comes as a shock, I cannot fathom.
Now I get to deal with PTSD and new triggers, YEY! Any recommendations on dating in your 30s?
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When I have the days off...
One of my other flaws is when I get ambitious I get lazy. I had it all planned out (not really but I had a plan) to do my 20k in 4 months but on my first day off I made an excuse, on my second another excuse and I have a feeling tomorrow will be more of the same. Discouraged but I have to remember that no matter what, any money I put towards the ( Read more... ) -
The final count down... $20k in 4 months?
One of my main flaws is I get to ambitious... My newest set up to fail goal is to pay off my car by the end of 2021. That is 20 thousand dollars in 4 months. Is it doable? I mean... technically yes... I hope. Not with my current life style, working my shift work job and going home to sleep. In order to do this I need to bump up my time management ( Read more... )