Mido coughs a few times, her breath going ragged. "Heh. I guess, this is it. I'm bleeding badly and I can't move anymore. But Vik- Viktoriya. I didn't piss myself this time, that's an improvement, isn't it? I think I'm a goner soon, but it was a good fight, wasn't it? Viktoriya, Naoko, Avery ... I'm ... I'm so happy that I met all of you. Without ( Read more... )

... to finally get some answers. If it's something harmless - yay, okay. Going to change my style of life then. Maybe, just maybe I like to live. A little bit ( Read more... )

Well, visiting friends was fun as always. Strangely enough I never felt any nausea in the past eight days, also only very, very faint stomach ache. Still pondering if I should go to a check-up or just ignore it (as always) ... on the other hand it is still there and it still feels not too good. Dunno. Hmm ( Read more... )

This morning I felt good. No puking, no nausea. Sadly now, 4 hours later, I'm nauseous again. Meh. Starting in two hours I'll visit my friends. Probably wrote that earlier again. So, I won't post here for a while. Will be updating when I'm back though (unless I die in the meantime).

Just now at dinner mom asked me if everything is alright, because I'm more silent than usual.
Hmm. I couldn't bring myself to tell them. I can't really talk to them about it.

It's kinda funny though that my desperation grows more and more. So much about all this "I don't care about life", huh?

I almost feel like crying now. So funny, all this.

Feeling a bit better today right now. No puking, no nausea, still feeling quite weak though. There is also a somewhat uncomfortable feeling into my abdomen, so ... meh ( Read more... )

... very much. Days of nausea and spontaneous puking sound like a certain form of cancer to me, but I can't bring myself to visit a doctor to get certainty. My feelings are mixed, to be honest. I'm curious about the afterlife (if there is any) for years now, but - I'm also scared. For the past decade I always told myself that I don't care much ( Read more... )

Well, I dunno. Right now everything feels pointless to me. The fact that I'm still sick doesn't help, too. It's now almost eight weeks which I haven't been entirely healthy, which is rather annoying ( Read more... )

I really, really despise smoking, especially when I'm smoking myself. I dunno, while it's on work it kinda feels okay, but on work it's more about, well ... having small talk with the group of people and not about smoking. At least that's what I tell myself ( Read more... )

... well, almost four months. It's more like I last saw them at the 3rd January. So in ~12 days it's four months ( Read more... )