Hey guess what. I decided not to kill my self on April 5, 2004. I am going to wait and see how things turn out. I feel a lot better now adays. But unfortually I have my frist theripist meeting today. I DON'T WANNA GO. There is nothing wrong with me, so I don't have to go. I got CABLE, for the internet. And it rocks. If you got any suggestions for ( Read more... )

Today was so hot. I didn't relize it was going to be so hot. I was wearing 3 shirts and a jacket... Geez. I went to my first as usuall and it totaly sucked. More then usuall. My second, was decent. I just sat there and read one of my books(I have like 5 I am reading). By third perioid I was irritated, no reason. I just was. Fourth I was pissed, I ( Read more... )

How could she do that?
How could she ask that?
Can I do that?
Am I a capable of acheiving that goal?
Stupid girl. Stipid boy. Stupid humans.
I am not a girl. I am not a boy. I am not a human.
I have nothing. I see nothing. I hear nothing.
Because I am nothing.

" I bet that know one in this room would find it funny if a child was defacpitated by a air bag. But you would if 15 minutes before he was going:MOMMY GET ME A BALOON, MOMMY, GET ME ONE. MOMMY, MOMMY PLEASE. CAN YOU?"

I was looking through the internet during computer class today. And Found some intersting stuff at:http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.htmlRead more... )

They don't know ME. They know Jeremy. I am not this person. Not really. They know some fat kid, who changes to each person. Molds to each other. Most never notice. Jeremy acts different around each person. He acts how he thinks the other person wants him to act. That is not me, those who know. The people who talk to me. don't talk to ME. They talk ( Read more... )

Hello again. I am in a much better mood now that I have stopped thinking. When I think. I get depressed, so I try not to. But sometimes I just can't help it....... I just don't know what to do with my self anymore.

I really really had a bad day. My friend Shannon found out what I was thinking. And she was about to go to the councerler. I got freaked out. And I had this conversation. Sigh. If I died no one would care. Not really. Except maybe a few people. She said she would. But she couldn't because she doesn't really know me. No one does.

I still don't know. I have been doing nothing but thinking about it. I might either do it April 5, 2004. Or I am going to wait 2 years from now. I don't know. I really don't. I talked to Jason, and Luke about it. They are fine with it, they don't care for this world either ( Read more... )

On April 5, 2004 I want to die. I have no reason to live. I have no reason to die. So I choose death. I am most likely going to hang my self. I am not sure how I am going to die yet, or that I am. But I want to. I am tired of living. I am really confused. I want to die. I am scared of taking my own life, yet, I am not scared if someone was to kill ( Read more... )