I think I am probably the only one that would write a post like this.

[mcconaughey]

"Matt," she begins. I hate it when people call me Matt. My name is Matthew. I hate her. Her fingernails are talons, long and pink and I think I see the glint of rhinestones. Her eyebrows are crayoned on too dark to be natural, fat and crooked like caterpillars. I think her hair is fake-- at least part of it. It looks too full in the back, and the

Comments

[welling_t]

Is this a real story >:O

[mcconaughey]

No it is all about my penis >:O

[welling_t]

LMAO I don't believe you but just in case it's a good thing I didn't really read it then >:O

[mcconaughey]

HAHA, just skim it, you will see the word dick in there somewhere, I promise. PS, my edit >:O

[msfaithhill]

The baby's name is really Miller Lyte?

I think I'll keep my sexual fantasies to myself. ;)

[mcconaughey]

Yes, because they apparently thought that Miller Light would be too obnoxious. When he realizes how insane his parents are, I am going to allow him to come live with me and call himself a nice, normal name. John, for example.

But sharing is caring!

[msfaithhill]

I guess I'm too much of a traditionalist which is why my kids have average names.

haha...possibly, but the list is sooo damned long. I had it posted in one of the communities here a long time ago, but got embarrassed when someone on the list saw it.

[mcconaughey]

I have told journalists that I want about thirteen kids so I am sure I am going to have to name them after inanimate objects to distinguish one from the other. That is, of course, assuming I ever decide to procreate.

Personally, I believe it's pretty natural to find a lot of people attractive and it's perfectly healthy as long as it doesn't get in the way of fidelity.

[zdeschanel]

matthaniel.

[mcconaughey]

Zooeybelle. Or is it Zoeybelle?

[zdeschanel]

i don't know how to make the angry face emoticon, but if i did i would be giving you one right now.

[mcconaughey]

And to think, I was wondering if you were putting me down for number one. Am offended, appalled, et cetera. Let's go on vacay.

[rob_pattinson]

Well. I'm delighted to learn that my birthday's during masturbation month.

[mcconaughey]

Personally, I think it's one of the better months to be born in. There's not a holiday all that close so that people can be like here, this is your combination Holiday/Birthday gift, and it's sort of summery out, so if you get drunk and fall asleep on a street corner, you won't freeze to death.

[kelli_garner]

They named their child Miller Lyte. I am laughing so hard over here, oh my god. At least it wasn't completely hicked out and named BUD LYTE. Oh jeez, let's get started with that meth lab. I'm glad you're visiting!

[mcconaughey]

I remember that night I was telling Conan, too. Someone texted me and was like YOU ARE ON CONAN AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY ADMITTING THAT SOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY IS NAMED AFTER A BEER. Hahhahaha you want to hear something hilarious? My other brother has a son they call Bud. I give up on my family. Adopts you. I hope our lab doesn't explode. Plus, if that Newsweek article is to be believed, ten minutes in there is going to make us look like the elderly I AM EXCITED.