Jonathan met McGregor's glare with a self-satisfied grin, the kind that made people want to slap him, and he was very well aware of it. Casually slinging his arm around Miller's shoulder to cover up the fact that he had trouble walking in a straight line, he laughed, "You're the one with the cash and besides, it's my birthday week. And it'd be kinda crap to pay for my own birthday shit, right? Besides, Miller blew his entire paycheque on my chastity belt, so you win the honour."
Stumbling over a crack in the pavement, he swore under his breath and caught himself before falling into an awkward heap on the ground. Ignoring whatever creative insults that came as a result, he pretended to look around as if there was something huge that made him trip. Knowing he was fooling absolutely no one, he scowled at their combined mockery, "Fuck off." Cramming his hands into his jeans pocket, he pulled out his mobile and practically threw it at McGregor and half-heartedly shoved Miller forward.
Jonny Lee stumbled, catching himself on a lamppost. "Fuck off you daft..." he turned to yell at Ewan, assuming it was him who'd pushed him,then realising it was actually Meyers "Jonny boy, that wasn't nice at all. And actually, Ewan paid for the belt." He smirked, pulling a flask out of his pocket, "So cheers, McG. Oh, did I forget to tell you that?"
Ignoring Ewan's string of insults, he skipped ahead humming some obscure pop tune, "So lads, the night is young and so are we. I remembered the plastic baggies," He fished a handful out of his trousers, "Ewan, I hope you remembered to lay off the fibre today."
Shaking his head menacingly toward Jonathan, Ewan said bitterly while loudly interrupting Jonny Lee, “That what he told you, then? That fucker is lying! I paid for the belt.” After a second he added in absent curiosity, “How’s it fit then, you enjoyin’ yourself?” Watching as Jonathan tripped over his own feet he, naturally, started cracking up and throwing insults that included the ever famous ‘have a nice trip?’ and ‘perhaps you should try walking once in awhile, you fuck', while also catching the mobile. He’s that cool
( ... )
"I wouldn't know since I have no fucking plans of wearing it. Ever." He came to that conclusion after examining the restraining device and all the metal clamps that came along with it. Deciding he'd rather avoid permanent bit damage, he shoved the belt back in it's box and stuck it at the very back of his wardrobe, effectively cutting off any closet remarks.
Rolling his eyes at the over-used infantile tripping insults, he was tempted to throw out the ever famous 'say it, don't spray it, you cunt' but even he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Wrinkling his nose at the unpleasant thought of anyone taking a shit in a closed up car, he was about to protest vehemently when he saw Ewan trip up too. Practically cackling, he shoved past him and slid in the car first, rummaging around to find another bottle of unopened whiskey and grinning in triumph when there was not one or two bottles, but three.
Jonathan kicked a leg up to rest his foot across the way and onto the seat opposite, further preventing any sudden dashes for freedom. He just gave a slight smile, then wordlessly handed over an unopened bottle of whiskey to Jonny Lee, leaving them with none left except for bottles of beer.
He frowned as he light up another cigarette, rolling down the window just enough to flick the burning match out before turning back to the others.
Assuming an air of forced calm, he pointed at him with his cigarette, "Don't be daft, Yorke. You're stranded and we've got a car. Common sense says you can't be offended by it, either. It's not like we're driving, you know." Throwing back a conspiritorial smile at Ewan and Jonny Lee, he took another long pull from his bottle and started chuckling as his eyes fell on the small box that couldn't be completely hidden from view
( ... )
Thom, who had been sputtering like a wet hen as he was pulled into the car, surveyed the interior, sizing up the situation. He eyed the driver, unknown to him. "So you're saying that the bloke at the wheel there has had nothing to drink all night?" He then bent forward and began to cough heavily, waving the smoke out of his face. In between coughs, he gasped, "Could you please--a window."
He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Look, if you could be good enough to just drop me off at the nearest pay phone, that'd be quite enough, really."
Thom looked dubiously at the drink. A beer would taste good right now, but... "No, thank you, really. I'm fine." He sniffed the air. "What's that smell?"
Totally ignoring Thom’s request for departure, Ewan clapped Jonny Lee’s mouth with his hand after Miller had squealed, “HEHEHE WE’RE HERRRRREEEE!!!” With a slight laugh and a look at Thom Ewan arched a brow asking, “What smell” before instructing Marv to pull over. Moments later they were all standing outside, staring up at a corner house. The lights were off and there were no other inhabitants littering the street
( ... )
Glancing down at the egg in his hand, and quickly over to the right, he noticed a child's tricycle in the bushes. "A getaway device!" he snickered, making a mental note. Still waiting for the cue to toss. Seeing Thom's obvious discomfort, he nudged him gently in the ribs, "S'alright mate, if anything you can blame us. Or Oasis. Works like a charm."
Ewan let out a little Indian holler, and the eggs and shitbags flew, hitting the side of the house with a splat. A light came on in an upstairs window and they all made a mad dash for the street. Jonny Lee grabbed the tricycle, setting it on the downward slope. "Oi oi oi, wait up!" he sat on the seat, his knees up to his neck, and tried to pedal. But as luck would have it, he couldn't pedal and was very very stuck. "Oh fucking hell. Hey guys? A hand here? I'm fucking.. caught." he rocked awkwardly, the trike rolling at about 1km/hr down the sidewalk towards the others.
Stumbling along the foreign sidewalk, wearing a chauffeur's cap and hawaiian shirt, Marv mumbled under his breath. "Fucking British people, always fucking things up." He'd somehow misplaced his wallet in the madness following the egging incident and was out to find it.
Passing the postman, he raised his hand drunkenly, "Hey there good buddy, top o' the morn and shit."
Suddenly, a copper flew out of the bushes and tackled him to the ground. "What in the sam hell??" Marv yelled, "Fucking British cops I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!" he protested as they handcuffed him and drug him off to jail for "destruction of property".
Days later, in front of the magistrate, our intrepid hero pleaded his case, claiming insanity and a lack of loose women. Ewans paid his bail and took him out for a night on the town, no eggs involved whatsoever. And they all lived happily ever after.
REMEMBERING HE FORGOT TO MENTION HORNS PORTMAN EWAN'S BATTLE CRY CONSISTED OF "THIS IS IN THE NAME OF EVIL HORNS PORTMAN" BEFORE CHUCKING AN EGG. HI MARV.
McGregor Attacks Critical Journalist at PremiereScottish actor Ewan McGregor has defended his aggressive outburst against a cheeky journalist at Sunday's London premiere of his latest movie The Island - insisting the reporter ruined his night by criticizing his American accent in the film. The movie hunk was furious when a blonde journalist asked him about his critically-mauled performance as an American in the movie, and replied he had "no plans to abandon the accent". McGregor then shocked fans at the Leicester Square event, by storming back towards the journalist later on and shouting, "Thank you for bringing that up - you've ruined my evening" before storming off. The red-faced journalist was then ordered to leave the premiere and was banned from all future screenings, reports British newspaper the Daily Mirror. But McGregor's spokeswoman insists, "There had been an unfounded criticism made to Ewan by an agency reporter, to which Ewan politely replied that he was sorry she'd asked that
( ... )
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Stumbling over a crack in the pavement, he swore under his breath and caught himself before falling into an awkward heap on the ground. Ignoring whatever creative insults that came as a result, he pretended to look around as if there was something huge that made him trip. Knowing he was fooling absolutely no one, he scowled at their combined mockery, "Fuck off." Cramming his hands into his jeans pocket, he pulled out his mobile and practically threw it at McGregor and half-heartedly shoved Miller forward.
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Ignoring Ewan's string of insults, he skipped ahead humming some obscure pop tune, "So lads, the night is young and so are we. I remembered the plastic baggies," He fished a handful out of his trousers, "Ewan, I hope you remembered to lay off the fibre today."
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Rolling his eyes at the over-used infantile tripping insults, he was tempted to throw out the ever famous 'say it, don't spray it, you cunt' but even he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Wrinkling his nose at the unpleasant thought of anyone taking a shit in a closed up car, he was about to protest vehemently when he saw Ewan trip up too. Practically cackling, he shoved past him and slid in the car first, rummaging around to find another bottle of unopened whiskey and grinning in triumph when there was not one or two bottles, but three.
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He frowned as he light up another cigarette, rolling down the window just enough to flick the burning match out before turning back to the others.
Assuming an air of forced calm, he pointed at him with his cigarette, "Don't be daft, Yorke. You're stranded and we've got a car. Common sense says you can't be offended by it, either. It's not like we're driving, you know." Throwing back a conspiritorial smile at Ewan and Jonny Lee, he took another long pull from his bottle and started chuckling as his eyes fell on the small box that couldn't be completely hidden from view ( ... )
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He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Look, if you could be good enough to just drop me off at the nearest pay phone, that'd be quite enough, really."
Thom looked dubiously at the drink. A beer would taste good right now, but... "No, thank you, really. I'm fine." He sniffed the air. "What's that smell?"
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Ewan let out a little Indian holler, and the eggs and shitbags flew, hitting the side of the house with a splat. A light came on in an upstairs window and they all made a mad dash for the street. Jonny Lee grabbed the tricycle, setting it on the downward slope. "Oi oi oi, wait up!" he sat on the seat, his knees up to his neck, and tried to pedal. But as luck would have it, he couldn't pedal and was very very stuck. "Oh fucking hell. Hey guys? A hand here? I'm fucking.. caught." he rocked awkwardly, the trike rolling at about 1km/hr down the sidewalk towards the others.
Reply
Stumbling along the foreign sidewalk, wearing a chauffeur's cap and hawaiian shirt, Marv mumbled under his breath. "Fucking British people, always fucking things up." He'd somehow misplaced his wallet in the madness following the egging incident and was out to find it.
Passing the postman, he raised his hand drunkenly, "Hey there good buddy, top o' the morn and shit."
Suddenly, a copper flew out of the bushes and tackled him to the ground. "What in the sam hell??" Marv yelled, "Fucking British cops I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!" he protested as they handcuffed him and drug him off to jail for "destruction of property".
Days later, in front of the magistrate, our intrepid hero pleaded his case, claiming insanity and a lack of loose women. Ewans paid his bail and took him out for a night on the town, no eggs involved whatsoever. And they all lived happily ever after.
[FTB!!!!]
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El fin.
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McGregor Attacks Critical Journalist at PremiereScottish actor Ewan McGregor has defended his aggressive outburst against a cheeky journalist at Sunday's London premiere of his latest movie The Island - insisting the reporter ruined his night by criticizing his American accent in the film. The movie hunk was furious when a blonde journalist asked him about his critically-mauled performance as an American in the movie, and replied he had "no plans to abandon the accent". McGregor then shocked fans at the Leicester Square event, by storming back towards the journalist later on and shouting, "Thank you for bringing that up - you've ruined my evening" before storming off. The red-faced journalist was then ordered to leave the premiere and was banned from all future screenings, reports British newspaper the Daily Mirror. But McGregor's spokeswoman insists, "There had been an unfounded criticism made to Ewan by an agency reporter, to which Ewan politely replied that he was sorry she'd asked that ( ... )
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