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today i have eaten too much ( Read more... ) -
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I'm sitting here smoking yet another joint and relaxing. I have just purged in my house while by bf was home for the 1st time EVER ( Read more... ) -
Welcome
Welcome to my life. The rushed yet awesome chaotic mess of an existence. All is going well at the moment.. For now the dexies, caffeine, weed and my sewing / drawing is keeping me sane. I know this lifestyle won't last but my passion for my label is my driving force to stay mentally 'on top' (even if I am getting high on a far too regular basis to ( Read more... ) -
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My BMI is underweight.
I'm nowhere near my GW. People tell me I'm too skinny on a daily basis. Everyone I know has tried speaking to me because my weight-loss is concerning them'. It doesn't HAVE to concern you!! I know they only care.
Little do they know I used to be like this. Before I moved countries. Before I stopped exercising and binge eating ( Read more... ) -
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After all the effort I have put in.
Hand made Christmas cards and cookies for everyone.
Stockings for Rob and the puppy.
The money spent and presents bought for
HIS family.
Not so much as a card from him to open on Christmas day.
I have spent my morning in tears.
Christmas is my FAVOURITE time of year.
He knows that.
He has not had to do ANYTHING. I have ( Read more... ) -
It's consuming me
More and more now-a-days, or should i say in a quicker manner than it has done in the past, this disorder is consuming my life. My dog doesn't get a run in the mornings anymore because I take too many laxatives to leave the house, my evenings are spent glued to live journal or trawling through fashion blogs when I should be doing assignments, ( Read more... ) -
Fuck
So I ate yesterday. I ate a lot yesterday. I had tapas for dinner and STUPIDLY had a smoke after work and got the Munchies for chocolate. I only had 2 lax left which I didn't realize so I then got super depressed before I went to bed. I have now woken up 2 hours later than planned and subsequently it is too bloody hot outside to go for a run. The ( Read more... ) -
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I feel SO sick. Had planned all day to pull the 'I feel a bit sick, my tummy's sore' at dinner time thanks to my period arriving today, but have been unable to avoid the MASSES of calories. I am now in full on panic / anxiety attack mode and my inhaler isn't doing anything.
My partner and I had a very big fight earlier today, and as a consequence ( Read more... ) -
Because I had to
So after last night's post and the way I was feeling physically, today i have made it a priority to eat. I had some toast this morning and have just finished off half a Caesar salad and some fruit & yoghurt.
I needed the energy and nutrition but my stomach is now in agony because it hasn't been this full in months. It was so hard eating in the ( Read more... ) -
Nothing of particular interest
I have pains in my stomach. Hit a new LW today. Didn't even muster up a smile, was kind of emotionless about it. I know when I wake tomorrow it will be lower again. Of course I'm happy that the weight is gone, but I don't think my fatness is gone. I CAN see I have lost weight when I look in the mirror.. But at the same time I see more fat than ever ( Read more... )