Everything is "maybe."

Mar 09, 2003 05:17

Yes, I'll admit it: I have been feeling rather hesitant about writing in this journal. Part of it is apathy. Part of it is my inability to write in a way that feels authenticly engaging when I am using a keyboard instead of a pen. But it's mostly because a lot of my perceptions have been shifting lately and I don't know how to articulate it all ( Read more... )

Leave a comment

Comments 18

returning a favour! lovexfool March 9 2003, 04:31:31 UTC
I admire Rachel.
Rachel is smart, lots of fun, a sweetheart and an awesome person.
If I were alone in a room with Rachel, I would be very excited.
I think Rachel should move to Finland right now.
Rachel needs to go to sleep.
I want to start a band and write manifestoes with Rachel.
Someday Rachel will be in a band with me.
Rachel reminds me of how there can actually be so much good in this shitty world.
Without Rachel the world would be a lot duller and frustrating.
Memories of Rachel are recent but yet important to me.
Rachel can be my femme rolemodel.
Worst thing about Rachel is that she lives far away! duh!
Best thing about Rachel is that she's the sweetest friend and totally rocking.

Reply

Re: returning a favour! mechanicalkid March 9 2003, 12:59:22 UTC
Oh my god, you are so my femme role-model too.

Reply

Re: returning a favour! lovexfool March 10 2003, 02:26:46 UTC
awesome! ;-)

shit, you should come to aim, i miss talking to you. i have some news about your tour (and you should email me the us tour dates when you wake up). i am pretty sure i can come to usa with ya!

and minna and i practise some dada songs for your private gig today. it was weird, i hadn't touched guitar in like 6 months, but i loved it. we revamped heartbeats and its much cooler now.

later!
<3

Reply

YOU ARE SO AMAZING. mechanicalkid March 10 2003, 14:12:46 UTC
If you are really coming on tour, and if DSG is really playing a show with me, I will shit my pants. For real.

That is SO hot.

Reply


monslucis March 9 2003, 08:51:18 UTC
i can really relate to all of this, though some of it's different for me ( ... )

Reply

mechanicalkid March 9 2003, 12:56:08 UTC
That wasn't negative at all, Jason. It made a lot of sense to me, and I thank you. Unfortunately, I don't think that I possess the level of patience required for meditation. I know *that's* the whole point, that meditation is a challenge, but I feel like I can barely function in so many other ways in my life that meditation can't be on the top of my "take on the world" list. Not that I actually have such a list. But maybe I should make one, simply to further my need for cohesion!

Thank you for your thoughts, truly.

Reply


aworried1 March 9 2003, 10:41:21 UTC
I don't know what I am more struck by: the wonderful way you write, or the fact that you wrote in your journal at all. It must be a miracle.
<3

Reply

mechanicalkid March 9 2003, 13:00:07 UTC
Wow, thank you.
I really appreciate that. And I like your writing a lot too.

Reply

Re: aworried1 March 9 2003, 14:06:41 UTC
*blushes*

Ahh jeez....cmon, now.

Reply


yeah! maybemaroon March 9 2003, 22:38:34 UTC
ah, rachel....thank you for writing in your livejournal! i fucking LOVE it!

Reply

Re: yeah! mechanicalkid March 10 2003, 14:08:47 UTC
You don't EVEN know how much I fucking love you and live for you.

Reply

Re: yeah! maybemaroon March 17 2003, 01:09:47 UTC
I am in love with rachel.
rachel is the most engaging, encouraging, and intelligent person i know.
If I were alone in a room with rachel, I would stay up all night talking with her and eating processed cheese.
I think rachel should take me on tour with her.
rachel needs a life without sleep.
I want to spend endless amounts of time with rachel.
Someday rachel will inspire many people to positive action.
rachel reminds me of a pipe bomb.
Without rachel life would be much less amazingly ridIculOuS.
Memories of rachel are of excitement, challenge and growing.
rachel can be hyper and tons of fun.
Worst thing about rachel is she sometimes makes herself feel sick.
Best thing about rachel is her positivity and her love.
I am enthralled with rachel.

Reply


i'm a hermit, finally coming clean fruitpie March 12 2003, 09:09:30 UTC
The truth behind all of this fiction is that I haven't worked much of anything out. I am just as confused today as I was a year ago - perhaps more confused, because I have seen more, so I have more to grapple with.

yea, this is how i feel exactly. why is it always like this??!

as for the keeping in contact with people, i am quite similar in that way. i get anxious & sometimes i feel *obligated* to call someone because its been sooo long since i have, i feel bad about it.

anyway, just wanted to say i'm glad you still post in this thing, and that i always enjoy reading!! oh yea, & that i saw an episode of 90210 the other day, & i thought of you. ;)

Reply

Re: i'm a hermit, finally coming clean mechanicalkid March 16 2003, 12:48:01 UTC
HAHA.

You don't know how happy I am that you associate me with 90210.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up