i didn't want to revisit this. i need to do this again. i need to vent somewhere and my hands hurt too much to rant and rave and write. so here i am ( Read more... )

"crazy love ( Read more... )

THIS is my life. jesus. i was rereading old entries (cuz there's nothing to do at work). i'm nostalgic. i want it back. it was innocent. it was fun. it was drunk all of the time with no consequences. it was let's adventure ( Read more... )

this is not a complaint. this is an attempt to make sense of this ( Read more... )

it's rehab time. rehab time again. this is going to be the last time. i can't do this again. i can't do this and then get out and keep drinking.

it was a bottle of wine a day. it was a bottle of vodka a day. it was hiding liquor bottles in my bed, under pillows.

this time, it has to work.

big book, you will save me ?

i'm trying so hard. i don't know that it's going to stick.

it's almost two am and i have to be up in six hours and forty five minutes. i can't sleep. i can't relax. i can't move. i feel pinned to this bed, afraid to wander the halls in fear i'll be seen, spoken to, noticed. my thumbs are throbbing; i've picked them bright red. my muscles are tense. it's like there's some evil prescence. my life feels odd; ( Read more... )

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MADRID. (Reuters) - The world's first ban on overly thin models at a top-level fashion show in Madrid has caused outrage among modeling agencies and raised the prospect of restrictions at other catwalk pageants ( Read more... )

i can't stop racing my mind. my mind wants what it can't have. and i miss. i miss josh. and i miss friendships that were so special. i'm tainting them. i'm ruining things. but i don't care most of the time. i just want to slow down. slow down and breathe sometimes. breathe sober. feel sober ( Read more... )