you know when you were younger (or maybe not so young?) and you were at a birthday party or a church event (for me it was church) and you had to play some relay game and they made you sit on balloons and pop them?

i hate that. i don't want to sit on a balloon. i don't like the sound it makes. and what if it hurts?

STUPID


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how can a person have so much control over my mind? how long has it been? i think that when i am 90 and dying in a hospital..you will be the last thought on my mind. WHY>!??!?@#$$$%t WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. SEERIOUSLY. i want to curl up in a corner and die. seriously. this is disgusting ( Read more... )

i seriously never will understand people ( Read more... )

ah..it is sooooo nice to be alone. i had to take a "moment" from the baby chaos at my house. billy started to get under my skin so i decided to come  over to my parents house. they are gone so it's me, dogs, and fish. it's great. i don't know if he really understood why i left. maybe he should think about it. anyways ( Read more... )

i love reading old e-mails, livejournal posts..etc. i love it. i love going back in time to a place where i had friends, a job, confidence ( Read more... )

bla bla bla..i am always right about people. i know eeeeeverything. and i don't care! so buuuuuuuuuusyyyyyyy//EVERYONE ( Read more... )

i'm having a weird personal moment. it's like all the mistakes i've made in parenting are crashing all around me and i want to fucking cry. i love my kids and i wish that we were all programmed to do the right things. FUCKkkkkkkkkk ( Read more... )

welllll...christopher most likely has an inguinal hernia. he has all the symptoms and talking to his dr that's what it sounded like to him also. maybe it's not, can't get him in to the dr till june 1st. if that's the case, he will have to get surgery. UGH. poor baby. i wish i could get him in sooner but an office visit is 67 bucks and i soo don't ( Read more... )

yesterday julie came and worked with chris. he did pretty good this week. he has been signing a little more and he was being a little more interactive with her. buuuut she made the mistake of giving him crayons at the end of their session and he FREEEEEEEAKED the fuck out. i haven't seen him throw a tantrum like that before. it was so embarrasing. ( Read more... )

chris got his first haircut on saturday. he was absolutely amazing and it looks so fucking cute. he looks like he's so much older. aaaadorable. and he will be so much more comfortable in the summer with short hair. love it.