So many things have happened in the past couple of years. It's crazy to look back on it all. Jon and I have come so far, yet we both have been on different paths this entire time ( Read more... )

Sit down and shut up ( Read more... )

Well here I am 7 months pregnant.

I feel like shit. These dreams wont stop. I feel so fat and ugly. I feel useless.

I just don't feel good enough. I cant do this.

Compared to most people, I had a fairly good childhood. Yes, we were neglected by my mother. We were verbally and emotionally abused. But it was better than what Jon had to go through. When I met him, he was house bound. He couldn't leave the house alone. He would literally shake in situations that I considered normal. His anxiety was so bad it was ( Read more... )

Geez. What a life ( Read more... )

I feel as if much of my journal entries from the past all have a similiar theme. Or topic. As I reflect on the past year, or years, I feel as if I have maintained the same goal. The same outcome that I am striving for ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just feel like shit. No matter what I do, I try so hard to just be confident and love  myself. Because when I look around I feel nothing. All I have is Jon. I can't rely on him for everything. He is already so burnt out from giving himself to everyone else. I hate myself. Is that why everyone left me behind? Because I have nothing. At ( Read more... )

Well, it's been another day ( Read more... )

I literally could sleep all day, and that's not an exaggeration. Last night we went to bed around 11 or something like that. We got up for about 20 minutes to eat a bowl of cereal at like 1. I'm not even sure if I got up to pee but, because I'm pregnant, chances are I did. Jon's alarm went off around whatever o'clock. I sat up and fell asleep ( Read more... )

I'm doing this thing in my life where I set boundries ( Read more... )