Fairy & Kitten "Broken" Pencils

[meikochan]

I finished pencilling all the pages for the comic I am going to submit to the Break anthology a little while ago. And today I cleaned them up a little bit and cropped them down for posting (after having a pretty good day at the beach). Here they are:

Comments

[ext_197694]

1. Page 3 on the left, where she's supposed to be looking shocked and heartbroken, there's something wrong about the face...I'm thinking part of it's because her mouth isn't quite right, like maybe the corner of her lips should be turned down a bit more or something? I think it looks happy almost, not sad/angry/etc. If not for the broken heart above her head, if I were just looking at her face, I wouldn't think of heartbroken. And also, her right eye is ever so slightly lower than the left. Put it in photoshop with guides on it and you'll see what I mean.

2. Page 5 on the left, where the guy's head is in the thought bubble, that's a tangent there with the edge of the frame.

Other than that, it's great! Love it :)
--Andy
therealandynelson -{at}- gmail.com

[craterchest]

Page 1: Panel 1 needs to be pulled out more, show more of the house and driveway. Possibly the guy on his way over, but then, I also really like the voyeur panel too

melanie's pencils...

[anonymous]

dear melanie

[dainasplashes]

Hello! As you know, I'm no expert on this stuff, but I will say that the only thing unclear for me was on page 4, where for some reason I didn't notice the fairy in that panel where the branch starts to break -- she got lost among all the twigs, when I looked at it. Maybe that's just me, or maybe something that will be clearer after inking.

Also I feel like I should be able to tell whether the fairy and kitten knew each other ahead of time, but I couldn't tell.

I like it!