\When will all this stop all this crap in my head. I miss her so much and I try to keep forgetting that sunday is mothers day im going to a whole different state that day with scott and my dad i cant be here ill lose it!! I miss her so much i miss her calming me down after flashbacks she was the only one that fully gives a shit about me having PTSD ( Read more... )

Well Im waiting for scott to come back to apartment with my car so i can go out, this is my first really going out to do more then one thing since everything happened.im going to the doctor on the 25 and hopefully they can give me something for my anxiety, this is not the way to start a marriage and i dont recommend it to anyone, but luckily scott ( Read more... )

Haven't updated in a while but i'm still in a haze after this week. I think I have gotten a total of 10 hrs of solid sleep i have never ever been this tired. Mom is still in the hospital and the team of Dr's is coming in today to really tell us how to treat her cancer, that is so wierd for me to say or i mean write my moms cancer. I never thought ( Read more... )

 Well I said I would update this so I am. Last weekend scott and I went to stockbridge for a lil vaca! it was very exciting we have never gone away together just the two of us and it was just very nice to beable to get away and do whatever we wanted to do. We waled around main street and went to the outlets and it was just exciting! For dinner we ( Read more... )

This weekend was the best! Im to tired to post all about it right now but i will tommrow!and i changed my default picture i just have to say i love hideki matsui! :-) im a nut and i know it!

Well This is my first entry. How Do i feel? Hmm Well im so excited that im off my medication, No one could ever take that excitment away from me. Now the hard work comes, Dealing with my emotions without medication and losing the weight I put on while on meds. God i flippin hate it but ill make it and if i stick to what im doing i know i can lose ( Read more... )