i found that bottle.
more than two years have passed.
i feel sick.
people want to help me "get past it".
i would feel like an even more terrible person if i were able to do so.
all the while
i'm worried about rancs
my mom
my dad
apartments
my brothers
skin rashes
boys
fucking boys.
boys who don't care about me.
alcohol
clarity
but i could have given this some ( Read more... )

radiohead tribute album
it's not that good
bottle of champagne
chocolate pudding
sleeping on the floor
boxes everywhere around me
saratoga springs tomorrow
i wish i had candles in a snowy cabin
so i could go skiing if i got lift tickets and i felt like skiing
but i'm just drunk on my floor
with too many things but no courage to throw them all out
they're just ( Read more... )

i'm too old for this bullshit.
drunk off sake and eating eggs.
sorry eliza, i know "eggs are murder"...
:(
i have no alternatives.

just when i start to forget about you
i remember so much
and how much of a horrible person you are
and then i get angry all over again for letting you enter my thoughts.

i have never spent this much time on a computer.
i actually like w.b. yeats. i admire his conviction. he reminds me of zak.
i wish someone would write me a lovely poem when i die.
something to console my frustrations with the world.
someone to recognize the things that i care about
and the effort that i put into voicing that frustration.
"you were silly ( Read more... )

I'M GOING TO GO TANNING.
my mind is warped.
that's all.

i am in such a fucking horrible mood ( Read more... )

I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS CRAZY LIFE.

100 Truths ( Read more... )

hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
bedtime, but hahahahahahahahahahahaha.