It is weird, I can't stop thinking of someone I probably have absolutely no chance with.

I need a life and some confidence.

Or maybe just a slice of pizza.

i may need to find a new place to stay real soon. im probably getting kicked out within the next month.

Where the hell have I been? I don't even know. I need to get out more. I barely go anywhere now. There aren't many people I actually want to see. Those I do want to see and hang out with...I've learned to deal with the fact that I most likely wont be able to because they actually have lives.

im sick again. it feels as though im deteriating(sp?) from the inside-out. and what makes it worse is ive lost almost 15 lbs in two weeks. somethings wrong....im goin to the docs soon

Right now I'm trying to decide whether or not I am to visit my grandmother's grave today. It's been a decade since she passed. I've felt bad about it ever since. Especially with how I acted at the time.
I was the only one who was not crying at the funeral. I've felt as though I should have though. She taught me a lot while I knew her.

I don't usually do entries like this. Nor, at this moment, do I care about the way I did anything in the past ( Read more... )

everyone changes when i'm out of the picture

little by little i have been falling into darkness.
i have no enthusiasm for anything anymore. if i show some, its false.
everyone else is happy, and succeeding.
im not. im miserable and lost.
i need to escape.
but there is nowhere to run.
i can no longer run this facade....
im dying on the inside

i need something new to make me feel alive again

I was let go from the video store today.

Now I'm unemployed....damn

my knee...
...swollen.

my head...
...pounding.

my ribs...
...bruised.

my back...
...throbbing.

my arm...
...numb.

I'm just slowly destroying myself.