-
Tired mother.
I feel something stirring inside me. I feel like I'm waking up ( Read more... ) -
Hungover
So... I'm feeling tired, kind of happy, kind of sad and majorly surprised by myself. Oh god ( Read more... ) -
bad mom
I'm struggling a lot with parenting lately. It kind of feels like I have always struggled. Perhaps that is the nature of parenting. But in truth the last months have been extremely difficult and I'm fearing for my own sanity and that of my son ( Read more... ) -
Big decisions.
I am standing on a ledge, wind in my hair. I know I have to jump. It is the only way to get to where I am going, but I don't know where I will end up when I jump. The only thing I do know is that I can't remain here and there is not much time left. Soon I have to jump ( Read more... ) -
not here.
I've been trying to make my "room" in my parents' house feel more like MY room. It's not really a room, but an open space without doors and the kids treat it as their playroom, so it is hard to draw boundaries. Their own rooms are not that big and I feel like I need to give them more space to play in. In the summer it was not an issue, because they ( Read more... ) -
hurricane. whirlwind. flood. heatwave.
So... a lot has happened in the past few months. I've made the move from my house back to my childhood home, I've spent a month in Switzerland with E, two weeks of those with my kids there as well and I've now returned back to Finland & am trying to adjust to this new way of life ( Read more... ) -
Thoughts in my head
My therapist once again reminded me what a great way journalling is to deal with my emotional issues. I don't know why it is so difficult for me these days to sit down and write out the thoughts in my head. I have nothing against it and I know that writing gives me clarity. I just don't seem to get around doing it much. I guess I am out of habit ( Read more... ) -
Gratitude.
Since I officially became a single mother, I have experienced so much kindness and support from people around me. It surprised me completely. While I was living in a relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend and father of my children, I felt so alone in this world. I felt like I had to carry everything on my own. Now as I literally am alone with the ( Read more... ) -
better let it out.
I don't know why today is such a crap day. There is no reason for it to be really ( Read more... ) -
the only way is up...
Two days since my low point, when I felt like a pile of frayed nerves and a puddle of tears on the floor ( Read more... )