football recs, AU edition
intro | the starter kit | the sample platter | back to basics | porn, with or without plot | makes me go :D | LADIES | David Villa is a lovable dicksmack | hurts so good | AUs!
AUs!
untitled, by thedevilchicken. utterly sweet and heartwarming AU in which Bobby is a lawyer and Titi owns a restaurant and somehow it just all works out. (Pirés/Henry)
when the moon is halfway down, by slobbering. American exchange student high-school AU, starts out cutesy and takes a sudden turn for angst. some domestic violence. flocked, sorry; comment to be added. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Blanco, by storyofameadow. I am really, really ambivalent about reccing this. on the one hand, it is pretty much the definition of guilty pleasure, and there is a significant amount of weepy angst packed into this soap opera. on the other, the writing is good if you're willing to overlook the fact that someone is always crying, jealous, dressed up in women's clothing, or otherwise embodying a homosexual stereotype. I don't know, it's epic and I enjoyed it? use your judgment. everyone works for a gay bar in NYC. (contains alcoholism, drug addiction, unsafe sex and consequences thereof, and violent hate crime and some sexual assault, so if any of that is triggery, don't read.) (way too many to list, but Ramos/Torres and Raul/Guti are the primary ones)
all your dreams are waking up, by slobbering. neither of them plays football. Stevie is getting divorced, Xabi is his lawyer. the portrayal of Stevie's wife is one-dimensional and pretty misogynistic, so steer clear if you think that will make you uncomfortable. (honestly it makes me pretty uncomfortable, which is a pity since I like the fic otherwise.) flocked, sorry; comment to be added. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Last Man Standing, by guede-mazaka. I know, I know, another epic AU, but it just makes me so happy. Zlatan is a gun for hire in Prohibition-era New York City, and he's just joined Paolo Maldini's gang. (essentially, Ibrahimovic/the Italian NT)
Line-Up, by guede-mazaka. the dark, scary version of Last Man Standing. it's still Prohibition and Zlatan's still a hitman, but it's not funny anymore. Pep Guardiola as a mob boss is simultaneously ruthless and terrifyingly earnest. (Ibrahimovic/Maldini(/Nesta, eventually), Figo/Guardiola, several others)
Buy Me On Your Credit Card, by moonythestrals. Fernando is a model who shows up to do a photoshoot at Sergio's workplace. Sergio's all into that, except then he realizes that Fernando might hold a grudge because of all those times he used to call Fernando fat in gym class back in high school. based on this truly epic youtube video. ♥♥♥ (Torres/Ramos)
Dry Earth, by sunnyshinee. oddly sweet and dreamy semi-dystopian AU where Ruud is a footballer but there's no football to be played, and summer stretches rainlessly on and on. Cristiano drifts into his life by chance and stays. I can't decide if I wanted more explanation of Cristiano and the AU elements of the story, or if the hints were just enough. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (van Nistelrooy/Ronaldo)
Sweetheart, by zanoranna. lolololol Basti's a rude boy. (as in the kind that runs in gangs, not a boy who happens to be rude.) Lukas has no idea what he's getting into but he can't really help himself. now expanded into truly epic proportions! the full series page is here. (Schweinsteiger/Podolski)
half/full, by windsor. strange, melancholic AU where Andrea Pirlo is a widower drifting through his devastated life in a foreign city when he happens to meet Fabio Cannavaro. it kind of reminded me of Lost In Translation, actually, which might tell you more than I could manage to put into words. (Cannavaro/Pirlo)
The Lie, by franklyfrazzled. cute little regular-life AU where Stevie and Xabi meet in school, centered around a book that Xabi may or may not be writing. slight Fernando Torres bashing makes me mad (he's blond and pretty, okay, but that doesn't make him a man-stealing villain! leave the poor thing alone!) but otherwise I enjoyed it. (Gerrard/Alonso)
the lives of others, by onthose-strings. hospital AU. little bit soap-opera and dramarama all the time (and the "every single person in this fic is gay" thing does bother me sometimes, though it might just be that the focus is so spread out among six couples that it feels like the characterization can't go as deep as I'd like; I think it would have worked better as a fic just about Karim and Yoann instead of digressing so much) but also really touching and sweet. minor character death, brief mentions of domestic violence. (Benzema/Gourcuff, Casillas/Fabregas, Ramos/Torres, Villa/Silva, Gerrard/Alonso, Raul/Guti)
Someone Needs to Tell the Turkey, by curvasud. Arsenal is a grocery store! ...no, seriously, the Arsenal team works at a grocery store. (Fabregas/van Persie)
The Summer Movie Marathon, by guede-mazaka. Figo is a hitman, Pep is a lunatic archaeology professor, and there's always a new life-threatening artifact being dug up somewhere. basically, take the Indiana Jones movies, add the Arsenal and Barcelona teams, shake and serve. (Figo/Guardiola, with amazingly entertaining cameos of Villa/Morientes/Raul and Nesta/Maldini/Ibrahimovic)
Shadowlands, by guede-mazaka. (when other writers start writing epics that are this awesome. that's when I'll start reccing AUs that aren't by guede-mazaka, okay?) it's the best kitchen sink bloodsucker orgy debauching of innocents ever! what, you want a real summary? VAMPIRE AU. there you go. lots of violence, some dubcon. (various permutations of Raúl/Guardiola/Morientes/Hierro/Figo, some Ballack/van Persie and other Germans)
an untitled fic in which Iker and Cesc are kind of Sam and Dean from Supernatural only with less incest, idek man, just read it, by tyrannicides. yeah. like that. (Casillas/Fabregas)
Feeling Both, by luxover. vampires are "in" this week! have a True Blood AU. I really like the way the politics play out in this; nothing is clear-cut and at the end you don't know who was right, but it's still really satisfying on an emotional level. (Di Maria/Özil)
twenty, by applefic. twenty tiny AUs in which people never became footballers. Zlatan's is genius, Freddie's is ridiculously plausible, Figo's is hilarious, and Kaka's is like a kick in the gut. but I think David Beckham might just steal the show. (gen)
so glad to have you, and it's getting worse, by mardia. ahhhh highschool AU! complete with sketchy teacher-student relationship! should not be as unspeakably cute as it is, and yet. background Xavi and Iker BFFness makes me so happy, too. warning for underage sex, obviously. comm-locked to footballslash, join to read. (Casillas/Fabregas, mentions of Beckham/Casillas)
The District, by dorkorific. uh. so. I had this policy, you see, about not reccing anything that wasn't finished, because I hate WIPs. I do sometimes rec things that turn out to have sequels, but if it can't stand alone, nuh-uh. I have been burned by abandoned WIPs before. but between this and the fic right below, I just couldn't hold out any longer. I LOVE THIS FIC. it is like the West Wing and football RPF had a crackbaby, and it is glorious. there are mocked-up excerpts from political blogs. Artur Boruc's Friday Rage List gets name-dropped. Iker Casillas is running for Senate. (implied Gerrard/Alonso; not giving the main pairing because I think it counts as a spoiler)
Nam Mellitus Erat, by tyrannicides. I'm pretty sure that when I look back on my participation in football fandom, the two things I'll be proud of are (a) making this list and (b) talking tyrannicides into writing a college AU. in which Iker is an RA and reads Latin and is carrying on a semi-illicit relationship with one of his undergraduate charges, i.e. Cesc. this fic is so true to life that sometimes I find myself cringing, except that my college career tragically never involved having David Beckham for a thesis adviser or dating Cesc Fabregas. (Casillas/Fabregas)
The Entire Time, by luxover. Leo Messi is a high-school stoner with a gift for art, Kun Aguero is his best friend, fellow stoner, and possibly in love with Giannina Maradona (or possibly just with her breasts), David Villa is forever in detention and David Silva is a scheming sweetheart as well as the best lab partner Leo's ever had. but it works. Villa actually makes an alarming amount of sense as a cranky hormonal teenager. also, incredibly hot. (Villa/Silva/Messi)
The Chinese Room, by tyrannicides. Cesc is a robot! or, as I like to think of him, an iPerson. I should warn you that this is not funny at all; in fact, it's pretty depressing - Iker is widowed and kind of an emotionally dysfunctional jerk because of it - but it's a beautiful read, and the world-building is phenomenal. (Casillas/Fabregas)
Family Feud, by luxover. well hello there Godfather AU, where have you been all my life? (Barcelona gen) (now with additional Silva/Villa and Alcantara gen snippets)
Summer in the City, by neverspilt. high school AU in which Iker is Fernando's new step-brother who comes home from college and ends up educating Fernando and his best friend Cesc in deliciously pornographic ways? I've got nothing. it's excellent. the running theme about Iker buying them ice cream is so Lolita and disturbingly hot. (Casillas/Torres/Fabregas)
Hurricane Drunk, by mardia. ordinary life AU, Stevie and Xabi are roommates, romcom style! comm-locked to footballslash; join to read. (Gerrard/Alonso, background Casillas/Fabregas) coda: walk you through the pathless roads
Five Years, by distira for the AU issue of cornerflag. True Blood AU! and not cheesy at all; it's dark and thought-provoking and wonderful, but still with a satisfyingly happy ending. (Suarez/Sneijder)
When The Open Road is Closing In, by 4or5paragraphs for the AU issue of cornerflag. band AU! pretty much gen and it's Germans and it still had my full attention, which should tell you something. (Lahm & Schweinsteiger gen, prior Lahm/Hildebrand)
I'll Never Mention Your Name, by aka_centimetre2 for the AU issue of cornerflag. WWII AU! dark but enjoyable. (van Nistelrooy/van der Sar)
Quedarse, by acchikocchi for the AU issue of cornerflag. magic... wizard... duelist AU? I don't even know what to call it but the worldbuilding is fantastic. (Raul/Morientes) a companion fic of sorts was posted at valentinesplay, set in the same world, but it's primarily Manchester United gen and the two fics can be read independently: Asylum
Settling In, by nahco3 for the AU issue of cornerflag. office AU! with foooooooood. and awesome cameos from Carlos Tevez, among others. (Evra/Park, background Ronaldo/van Nistelrooy)
The Ebb and Flow of Us Together, by luxover for the AU issue of cornerflag. surfer AU! in which Silva is also a conflicted med student, and Villa is a disillusioned lawyer who's chucked it all for bumming around the beach and throwing parties for his friends. but mainly they're all surfers. the use of the specific jargon is a great touch, I think. (Silva/Albiol)
(if you tolerate this then) your children will be next, by stickmarionette for the AU issue of cornerflag. BATFAMILY AU. and it works so well. (Barcelona gen)
but for now, by climbingeverest. college AU, Villa and Leo are roommates and Leo models for art classes. I just. this fic is so good. it sounds cracky and ridiculous but it gives me all these serious feelings and Leo Leo Leo. seriously just read it I can't explain it any better than that. (Messi/Villa)
at the end of the day, by brojan. Silva works part-time as a bartender to pay for college, Villa is a DJ. much like the previous, it has a lot more to say than you'd expect from my plot synopsis. (Silva/Villa)
A Brief History of Hemingway and STRING THEORY, by cannonsburn. whereas this one is just as cracky as you'd expect. online dating AU, complete with mixed-media screencap additions. (Silva/Fabregas)
three tonight, by distira. high school AU in which Sami and Mesut go to a party at Cristiano's house and invite Sergio Ramos to join them for some fun times in the guest bedroom. unf unf. (Khedira/Ozil/Ramos)
we'll give ourselves new names (identities erased), by retorico. strangely charming everyday-life AU. the pairing is odd but it works if you go with it. (Torres/Llorente)
If We Were So Down, We'd Up and Leave, by neverspilt. what will fbkink come up with next? ordinary life AU, Cesc is a trust fund brat and Iker is his family's gardener. (Casillas/Fabregas)
look, stranger, at this island now, by distira. sooner or later footballslash needed an apocalypse AU. pack tissues, this one's a downer. (Casillas/Fabregas) the funny version: prime directive: exterminate (Torres/Ramos, Silva/Villa, Llorente/Martinez, Fabregas/van Persie)
drop our anchors in a storm, by acrossthedeep. assassins AU! Cesc is mostly just along for the ride. (Casillas/Fabregas, Ramos/Torres)
Licence To Kill, by an anon at footballkink2. ...what are the odds that we get two assassins AUs in the same month? well, this one is more James Bond and less hired killers. Leo is in witness protection, Villa is assigned to look after him. could use a beta's loving care but it doesn't get in the way of the story. (Messi/Villa)
a wild thing, by estuve. bullfighter AU! Sergio's a matador, Fernando breeds bulls. (Ramos/Torres, Casillas/Fabregas, Gerrard/Alonso)
clear eyes, full hearts, by distira. as the title implies, a Friday Night Lights AU. I know absolutely nothing about American football, but you really don't need to. (Ramos/Torres)
let's take the long way home, by mardia. Xabi used to be Stevie's Spanish teacher. they run into each other in a bar a few years later, and previously suppressed sparks begin to fly. posted to footballslash, join to read. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Bandages, by centimetre-fics. sort of a police-force AU? it's got a bit of the feel of the new BBC Sherlock, i.e. creepy as hell. flocked, sorry; join to read. (Ferdinand/van der Sar)
Hots, by centimetre-fics. Ruud is a grad student in Amsterdam with a crush on his history professor. some of the details of grad student life are painfully true, even if I've never lived in the Netherlands. flocked, sorry; join to read. (van Nistelrooy/van der Sar)
not much like a lover, by cookingontherun. call-girl AU? ish? really cool worldbuilding. (Khedira/Özil, Mertesacker/Özil, Marin/Özil, Lahm/Özil)
Put On The Red Light, by mardia at footballslash. I love me a good hooker AU! comm-locked, join to read. (Bale/Walcott)
The Catalan Opening, by spdfg. Dramedy isn't a genre that shows up in Barça fic very often, which just makes it that much more appreciated when it does! This fic balances humor and a serious plot very well, and I really enjoy both the storyline (it's a cop AU) and the madcap shenanigans. Plus, I would happily read an infinite number of fics about Puyi's Odd Couple-ish relationship with Gerard Pique. The ensemble characters are brilliantly characterized as well, sometimes in only a few lines, and the subplot about the Alcantara brothers (I won't spoil it for you) is incredibly touching, at least for me. (Puyol/Pique, but mostly gen)
(Just Keep) Following the Heartlines, by crinklefries for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. Karim Benzema is a rapper who moves to Madrid and winds up bonding with Gonzalo Higuain, football star. I love it when AUs use real life for inspiration, a la Benzema's rapping aspirations! (Benzema/Higuain)
The one where Sergio and Fernando open a bakery, by cookingontherun. as it says on the tin! (Torres/Ramos, Gerrard/Alonso)
this is where we live, by brojan. the best AUs are the ones where you put characters into positions they'd never otherwise find themselves, and they are still perfectly themselves. ugh, feelings everywhere. and special shout-out to Xavi and Cesc and Daniella, yay ladies! (Silva/Villa)
Set Me As A Seal Upon Your Heart, by dorkorific. DEMONS! and fabulous worldbuilding, to boot. (Kaka/Ronaldo)
never read a fairy tale, by imaginarysound for hittheshowersbb. obligatory vampire AU! full disclosure, I beta'd and mixed for this fic. (Gerrard/Alonso)
sinfonía, by worldcoup at valentinesplay. college AU! Mori is an econ major who wants to be a novelist, Raul is a musician-mathematician. (Raul/Morientes)
dreaming of an open sky, by mimsicality at valentinesplay. a sliver of a window peeking into a slightly dystopian world. would be cool to see it expanded but it works the way it is, too. (Träsch/Özil)
Ill Met By Moonlight, by ladytelemachus at valentinesplay. GARETH IS A FAIRY. and Theo is an English teacher but did I mention that GARETH IS A FAIRY. (Bale/Walcott)
The Door, The Table, The Bed, by dorkorific at valentinesplay. Cesc is a cat. sort of. bit weird, but good-weird. like quirky boys love anime. (Casillas/Fabregas)
treat your life like a tragedy, by astonish. obligatory hooker AU, and a very dark one. warning for mentioned violence, in addition to prostitution. (Ronaldo/van Nistelrooy)
off the radar & into harm's way, by topnote. superpowers-but-not-superheroes AU (reminds me of the first season of Heroes, if that tells you anything), very dark and atmospheric. the writing is overly stylized but I really like the pairing and I thought the concept was fascinating. (Şahin/Götze)
The Actor's Ruse: In which our hero learns of the importance of a good grounding in physical chemistry and proves his loyalty to the French cause, by louis-quatorze at santjordi. it's a period piece! with SPIES! some of whom also happen to be Swedish opera stars, of course, if they're Freddie Ljungberg. (Ljungberg/Lehmann)
the odds all stand beneath me, by mardia for santjordi. Stevie and Xabi switch bodies. difficulties naturally arise. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Breaking Silentium, by zanoranna. the players of Bayern Munich, associated girlfriends and various otherwise unrelated footballers are at university and a number of them belong to the film club! just go with it. this is very obviously a fic written for one specific person's tastes, and I'm familiar enough to get most of the jokes so my opinion may be slightly biased, but I think it would be enjoyable to a complete stranger as well. (Schweinsteiger/Badstuber, numerous background pairings)
*More Than Fine, by niela-xxx for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. cute little AU in which Mesut is Cris Jr.'s kindergarten teacher. needs a beta-scrub for some technical issues with the writing but it's a sweet story. (Özil/Ronaldo)
*Quiet As Rain Not Yet Fallen, by ladytelemachus for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. Michael Owen comes back to Liverpool. Stevie is still working on forgiving him for leaving the first time. (Owen/Gerrard)
*My Father's Father, by thelastfig for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. such imaginative worldbuilding! Mancini runs a circus full of people with special talents, and Silva is the main attraction. (Silva/Johnson)
I'm always back with more. stay tuned. on hiatus for the foreseeable future.
UPDATED 03/16/13
Web Count
AUs!
untitled, by thedevilchicken. utterly sweet and heartwarming AU in which Bobby is a lawyer and Titi owns a restaurant and somehow it just all works out. (Pirés/Henry)
when the moon is halfway down, by slobbering. American exchange student high-school AU, starts out cutesy and takes a sudden turn for angst. some domestic violence. flocked, sorry; comment to be added. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Blanco, by storyofameadow. I am really, really ambivalent about reccing this. on the one hand, it is pretty much the definition of guilty pleasure, and there is a significant amount of weepy angst packed into this soap opera. on the other, the writing is good if you're willing to overlook the fact that someone is always crying, jealous, dressed up in women's clothing, or otherwise embodying a homosexual stereotype. I don't know, it's epic and I enjoyed it? use your judgment. everyone works for a gay bar in NYC. (contains alcoholism, drug addiction, unsafe sex and consequences thereof, and violent hate crime and some sexual assault, so if any of that is triggery, don't read.) (way too many to list, but Ramos/Torres and Raul/Guti are the primary ones)
all your dreams are waking up, by slobbering. neither of them plays football. Stevie is getting divorced, Xabi is his lawyer. the portrayal of Stevie's wife is one-dimensional and pretty misogynistic, so steer clear if you think that will make you uncomfortable. (honestly it makes me pretty uncomfortable, which is a pity since I like the fic otherwise.) flocked, sorry; comment to be added. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Last Man Standing, by guede-mazaka. I know, I know, another epic AU, but it just makes me so happy. Zlatan is a gun for hire in Prohibition-era New York City, and he's just joined Paolo Maldini's gang. (essentially, Ibrahimovic/the Italian NT)
Line-Up, by guede-mazaka. the dark, scary version of Last Man Standing. it's still Prohibition and Zlatan's still a hitman, but it's not funny anymore. Pep Guardiola as a mob boss is simultaneously ruthless and terrifyingly earnest. (Ibrahimovic/Maldini(/Nesta, eventually), Figo/Guardiola, several others)
Buy Me On Your Credit Card, by moonythestrals. Fernando is a model who shows up to do a photoshoot at Sergio's workplace. Sergio's all into that, except then he realizes that Fernando might hold a grudge because of all those times he used to call Fernando fat in gym class back in high school. based on this truly epic youtube video. ♥♥♥ (Torres/Ramos)
Dry Earth, by sunnyshinee. oddly sweet and dreamy semi-dystopian AU where Ruud is a footballer but there's no football to be played, and summer stretches rainlessly on and on. Cristiano drifts into his life by chance and stays. I can't decide if I wanted more explanation of Cristiano and the AU elements of the story, or if the hints were just enough. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (van Nistelrooy/Ronaldo)
Sweetheart, by zanoranna. lolololol Basti's a rude boy. (as in the kind that runs in gangs, not a boy who happens to be rude.) Lukas has no idea what he's getting into but he can't really help himself. now expanded into truly epic proportions! the full series page is here. (Schweinsteiger/Podolski)
half/full, by windsor. strange, melancholic AU where Andrea Pirlo is a widower drifting through his devastated life in a foreign city when he happens to meet Fabio Cannavaro. it kind of reminded me of Lost In Translation, actually, which might tell you more than I could manage to put into words. (Cannavaro/Pirlo)
The Lie, by franklyfrazzled. cute little regular-life AU where Stevie and Xabi meet in school, centered around a book that Xabi may or may not be writing. slight Fernando Torres bashing makes me mad (he's blond and pretty, okay, but that doesn't make him a man-stealing villain! leave the poor thing alone!) but otherwise I enjoyed it. (Gerrard/Alonso)
the lives of others, by onthose-strings. hospital AU. little bit soap-opera and dramarama all the time (and the "every single person in this fic is gay" thing does bother me sometimes, though it might just be that the focus is so spread out among six couples that it feels like the characterization can't go as deep as I'd like; I think it would have worked better as a fic just about Karim and Yoann instead of digressing so much) but also really touching and sweet. minor character death, brief mentions of domestic violence. (Benzema/Gourcuff, Casillas/Fabregas, Ramos/Torres, Villa/Silva, Gerrard/Alonso, Raul/Guti)
Someone Needs to Tell the Turkey, by curvasud. Arsenal is a grocery store! ...no, seriously, the Arsenal team works at a grocery store. (Fabregas/van Persie)
The Summer Movie Marathon, by guede-mazaka. Figo is a hitman, Pep is a lunatic archaeology professor, and there's always a new life-threatening artifact being dug up somewhere. basically, take the Indiana Jones movies, add the Arsenal and Barcelona teams, shake and serve. (Figo/Guardiola, with amazingly entertaining cameos of Villa/Morientes/Raul and Nesta/Maldini/Ibrahimovic)
Shadowlands, by guede-mazaka. (when other writers start writing epics that are this awesome. that's when I'll start reccing AUs that aren't by guede-mazaka, okay?) it's the best kitchen sink bloodsucker orgy debauching of innocents ever! what, you want a real summary? VAMPIRE AU. there you go. lots of violence, some dubcon. (various permutations of Raúl/Guardiola/Morientes/Hierro/Figo, some Ballack/van Persie and other Germans)
an untitled fic in which Iker and Cesc are kind of Sam and Dean from Supernatural only with less incest, idek man, just read it, by tyrannicides. yeah. like that. (Casillas/Fabregas)
Feeling Both, by luxover. vampires are "in" this week! have a True Blood AU. I really like the way the politics play out in this; nothing is clear-cut and at the end you don't know who was right, but it's still really satisfying on an emotional level. (Di Maria/Özil)
twenty, by applefic. twenty tiny AUs in which people never became footballers. Zlatan's is genius, Freddie's is ridiculously plausible, Figo's is hilarious, and Kaka's is like a kick in the gut. but I think David Beckham might just steal the show. (gen)
so glad to have you, and it's getting worse, by mardia. ahhhh highschool AU! complete with sketchy teacher-student relationship! should not be as unspeakably cute as it is, and yet. background Xavi and Iker BFFness makes me so happy, too. warning for underage sex, obviously. comm-locked to footballslash, join to read. (Casillas/Fabregas, mentions of Beckham/Casillas)
The District, by dorkorific. uh. so. I had this policy, you see, about not reccing anything that wasn't finished, because I hate WIPs. I do sometimes rec things that turn out to have sequels, but if it can't stand alone, nuh-uh. I have been burned by abandoned WIPs before. but between this and the fic right below, I just couldn't hold out any longer. I LOVE THIS FIC. it is like the West Wing and football RPF had a crackbaby, and it is glorious. there are mocked-up excerpts from political blogs. Artur Boruc's Friday Rage List gets name-dropped. Iker Casillas is running for Senate. (implied Gerrard/Alonso; not giving the main pairing because I think it counts as a spoiler)
Nam Mellitus Erat, by tyrannicides. I'm pretty sure that when I look back on my participation in football fandom, the two things I'll be proud of are (a) making this list and (b) talking tyrannicides into writing a college AU. in which Iker is an RA and reads Latin and is carrying on a semi-illicit relationship with one of his undergraduate charges, i.e. Cesc. this fic is so true to life that sometimes I find myself cringing, except that my college career tragically never involved having David Beckham for a thesis adviser or dating Cesc Fabregas. (Casillas/Fabregas)
The Entire Time, by luxover. Leo Messi is a high-school stoner with a gift for art, Kun Aguero is his best friend, fellow stoner, and possibly in love with Giannina Maradona (or possibly just with her breasts), David Villa is forever in detention and David Silva is a scheming sweetheart as well as the best lab partner Leo's ever had. but it works. Villa actually makes an alarming amount of sense as a cranky hormonal teenager. also, incredibly hot. (Villa/Silva/Messi)
The Chinese Room, by tyrannicides. Cesc is a robot! or, as I like to think of him, an iPerson. I should warn you that this is not funny at all; in fact, it's pretty depressing - Iker is widowed and kind of an emotionally dysfunctional jerk because of it - but it's a beautiful read, and the world-building is phenomenal. (Casillas/Fabregas)
Family Feud, by luxover. well hello there Godfather AU, where have you been all my life? (Barcelona gen) (now with additional Silva/Villa and Alcantara gen snippets)
Summer in the City, by neverspilt. high school AU in which Iker is Fernando's new step-brother who comes home from college and ends up educating Fernando and his best friend Cesc in deliciously pornographic ways? I've got nothing. it's excellent. the running theme about Iker buying them ice cream is so Lolita and disturbingly hot. (Casillas/Torres/Fabregas)
Hurricane Drunk, by mardia. ordinary life AU, Stevie and Xabi are roommates, romcom style! comm-locked to footballslash; join to read. (Gerrard/Alonso, background Casillas/Fabregas) coda: walk you through the pathless roads
Five Years, by distira for the AU issue of cornerflag. True Blood AU! and not cheesy at all; it's dark and thought-provoking and wonderful, but still with a satisfyingly happy ending. (Suarez/Sneijder)
When The Open Road is Closing In, by 4or5paragraphs for the AU issue of cornerflag. band AU! pretty much gen and it's Germans and it still had my full attention, which should tell you something. (Lahm & Schweinsteiger gen, prior Lahm/Hildebrand)
I'll Never Mention Your Name, by aka_centimetre2 for the AU issue of cornerflag. WWII AU! dark but enjoyable. (van Nistelrooy/van der Sar)
Quedarse, by acchikocchi for the AU issue of cornerflag. magic... wizard... duelist AU? I don't even know what to call it but the worldbuilding is fantastic. (Raul/Morientes) a companion fic of sorts was posted at valentinesplay, set in the same world, but it's primarily Manchester United gen and the two fics can be read independently: Asylum
Settling In, by nahco3 for the AU issue of cornerflag. office AU! with foooooooood. and awesome cameos from Carlos Tevez, among others. (Evra/Park, background Ronaldo/van Nistelrooy)
The Ebb and Flow of Us Together, by luxover for the AU issue of cornerflag. surfer AU! in which Silva is also a conflicted med student, and Villa is a disillusioned lawyer who's chucked it all for bumming around the beach and throwing parties for his friends. but mainly they're all surfers. the use of the specific jargon is a great touch, I think. (Silva/Albiol)
(if you tolerate this then) your children will be next, by stickmarionette for the AU issue of cornerflag. BATFAMILY AU. and it works so well. (Barcelona gen)
but for now, by climbingeverest. college AU, Villa and Leo are roommates and Leo models for art classes. I just. this fic is so good. it sounds cracky and ridiculous but it gives me all these serious feelings and Leo Leo Leo. seriously just read it I can't explain it any better than that. (Messi/Villa)
at the end of the day, by brojan. Silva works part-time as a bartender to pay for college, Villa is a DJ. much like the previous, it has a lot more to say than you'd expect from my plot synopsis. (Silva/Villa)
A Brief History of Hemingway and STRING THEORY, by cannonsburn. whereas this one is just as cracky as you'd expect. online dating AU, complete with mixed-media screencap additions. (Silva/Fabregas)
three tonight, by distira. high school AU in which Sami and Mesut go to a party at Cristiano's house and invite Sergio Ramos to join them for some fun times in the guest bedroom. unf unf. (Khedira/Ozil/Ramos)
we'll give ourselves new names (identities erased), by retorico. strangely charming everyday-life AU. the pairing is odd but it works if you go with it. (Torres/Llorente)
If We Were So Down, We'd Up and Leave, by neverspilt. what will fbkink come up with next? ordinary life AU, Cesc is a trust fund brat and Iker is his family's gardener. (Casillas/Fabregas)
look, stranger, at this island now, by distira. sooner or later footballslash needed an apocalypse AU. pack tissues, this one's a downer. (Casillas/Fabregas) the funny version: prime directive: exterminate (Torres/Ramos, Silva/Villa, Llorente/Martinez, Fabregas/van Persie)
drop our anchors in a storm, by acrossthedeep. assassins AU! Cesc is mostly just along for the ride. (Casillas/Fabregas, Ramos/Torres)
Licence To Kill, by an anon at footballkink2. ...what are the odds that we get two assassins AUs in the same month? well, this one is more James Bond and less hired killers. Leo is in witness protection, Villa is assigned to look after him. could use a beta's loving care but it doesn't get in the way of the story. (Messi/Villa)
a wild thing, by estuve. bullfighter AU! Sergio's a matador, Fernando breeds bulls. (Ramos/Torres, Casillas/Fabregas, Gerrard/Alonso)
clear eyes, full hearts, by distira. as the title implies, a Friday Night Lights AU. I know absolutely nothing about American football, but you really don't need to. (Ramos/Torres)
let's take the long way home, by mardia. Xabi used to be Stevie's Spanish teacher. they run into each other in a bar a few years later, and previously suppressed sparks begin to fly. posted to footballslash, join to read. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Bandages, by centimetre-fics. sort of a police-force AU? it's got a bit of the feel of the new BBC Sherlock, i.e. creepy as hell. flocked, sorry; join to read. (Ferdinand/van der Sar)
Hots, by centimetre-fics. Ruud is a grad student in Amsterdam with a crush on his history professor. some of the details of grad student life are painfully true, even if I've never lived in the Netherlands. flocked, sorry; join to read. (van Nistelrooy/van der Sar)
not much like a lover, by cookingontherun. call-girl AU? ish? really cool worldbuilding. (Khedira/Özil, Mertesacker/Özil, Marin/Özil, Lahm/Özil)
Put On The Red Light, by mardia at footballslash. I love me a good hooker AU! comm-locked, join to read. (Bale/Walcott)
The Catalan Opening, by spdfg. Dramedy isn't a genre that shows up in Barça fic very often, which just makes it that much more appreciated when it does! This fic balances humor and a serious plot very well, and I really enjoy both the storyline (it's a cop AU) and the madcap shenanigans. Plus, I would happily read an infinite number of fics about Puyi's Odd Couple-ish relationship with Gerard Pique. The ensemble characters are brilliantly characterized as well, sometimes in only a few lines, and the subplot about the Alcantara brothers (I won't spoil it for you) is incredibly touching, at least for me. (Puyol/Pique, but mostly gen)
(Just Keep) Following the Heartlines, by crinklefries for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. Karim Benzema is a rapper who moves to Madrid and winds up bonding with Gonzalo Higuain, football star. I love it when AUs use real life for inspiration, a la Benzema's rapping aspirations! (Benzema/Higuain)
The one where Sergio and Fernando open a bakery, by cookingontherun. as it says on the tin! (Torres/Ramos, Gerrard/Alonso)
this is where we live, by brojan. the best AUs are the ones where you put characters into positions they'd never otherwise find themselves, and they are still perfectly themselves. ugh, feelings everywhere. and special shout-out to Xavi and Cesc and Daniella, yay ladies! (Silva/Villa)
Set Me As A Seal Upon Your Heart, by dorkorific. DEMONS! and fabulous worldbuilding, to boot. (Kaka/Ronaldo)
never read a fairy tale, by imaginarysound for hittheshowersbb. obligatory vampire AU! full disclosure, I beta'd and mixed for this fic. (Gerrard/Alonso)
sinfonía, by worldcoup at valentinesplay. college AU! Mori is an econ major who wants to be a novelist, Raul is a musician-mathematician. (Raul/Morientes)
dreaming of an open sky, by mimsicality at valentinesplay. a sliver of a window peeking into a slightly dystopian world. would be cool to see it expanded but it works the way it is, too. (Träsch/Özil)
Ill Met By Moonlight, by ladytelemachus at valentinesplay. GARETH IS A FAIRY. and Theo is an English teacher but did I mention that GARETH IS A FAIRY. (Bale/Walcott)
The Door, The Table, The Bed, by dorkorific at valentinesplay. Cesc is a cat. sort of. bit weird, but good-weird. like quirky boys love anime. (Casillas/Fabregas)
treat your life like a tragedy, by astonish. obligatory hooker AU, and a very dark one. warning for mentioned violence, in addition to prostitution. (Ronaldo/van Nistelrooy)
off the radar & into harm's way, by topnote. superpowers-but-not-superheroes AU (reminds me of the first season of Heroes, if that tells you anything), very dark and atmospheric. the writing is overly stylized but I really like the pairing and I thought the concept was fascinating. (Şahin/Götze)
The Actor's Ruse: In which our hero learns of the importance of a good grounding in physical chemistry and proves his loyalty to the French cause, by louis-quatorze at santjordi. it's a period piece! with SPIES! some of whom also happen to be Swedish opera stars, of course, if they're Freddie Ljungberg. (Ljungberg/Lehmann)
the odds all stand beneath me, by mardia for santjordi. Stevie and Xabi switch bodies. difficulties naturally arise. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Breaking Silentium, by zanoranna. the players of Bayern Munich, associated girlfriends and various otherwise unrelated footballers are at university and a number of them belong to the film club! just go with it. this is very obviously a fic written for one specific person's tastes, and I'm familiar enough to get most of the jokes so my opinion may be slightly biased, but I think it would be enjoyable to a complete stranger as well. (Schweinsteiger/Badstuber, numerous background pairings)
*More Than Fine, by niela-xxx for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. cute little AU in which Mesut is Cris Jr.'s kindergarten teacher. needs a beta-scrub for some technical issues with the writing but it's a sweet story. (Özil/Ronaldo)
*Quiet As Rain Not Yet Fallen, by ladytelemachus for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. Michael Owen comes back to Liverpool. Stevie is still working on forgiving him for leaving the first time. (Owen/Gerrard)
*My Father's Father, by thelastfig for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. such imaginative worldbuilding! Mancini runs a circus full of people with special talents, and Silva is the main attraction. (Silva/Johnson)
I'm always back with more. stay tuned. on hiatus for the foreseeable future.
UPDATED 03/16/13
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