So, for all of those who didn't know, my Granny Brown died really recently. The reason I bring this up is because I've had a religious revelation. I've realized I'm not necessarily pagan. Not that I'm christian, either, or any other organized religion/philosophy *cough Buddhism cough*. No, I'm a believer in the emotion of love. I believe the love ( Read more... )

So, I haven't had any form of internets for a while now and was going slowly, quietly mad. FINALLY my father got someone over here to fix it, which cost him nothing, by the way, and they did and so here I am. Yay! Also, the only reason he got it fixed, might I add, wasn't because my mother and I had been complaining at him for weeks (yes, weekS), ( Read more... )

Pill-popper. That’s all I really am, all that I was really meant to be. I’m supposed to take pills every day; white ones, blue ones, pills that bring me up, pills that slow me down. I take 10 mg of an anti-depressant, even though I’m manic depressive and a self-mutilator (how I hate that word, mutilate. It sounds worse than it is), and 60 mg of an ( Read more... )

So, the idea is to post five things that are important about you/to you that perhaps others don't so much see. Basically, five different, more hidden, facets to your personality. So, here we go ( Read more... )

Remember: you are only not alone insofar as you can stand it.

I'm downing cepacol like they're candy. I'm contemplating something that I should never contemplate, breaking that one last promise that I made to her (even if she didn't accept it, because my "promises mean nothing" anyway). I don't even know if I want help or for someone to stop me. I just know that I don't know how much longer I can hold out, ( Read more... )

So, she broke up with me. I suppose I should be happy, right? Or, at least, not feel like this. She insinuated that I was a whore and a liar and yet she still loves me. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe if she does this, it won't hurt her as much. I want to drink, get high, fuck, but I just can't bring myself to. But, I know if I did, it would ( Read more... )

Maybe if you didn't come into my room smelling like beer and looking like a wasted god in faded denim and cowboy boots, I wouldn't like you half so much ( Read more... )

I think I've fucked it up. Again.

Of course, it was inevitable, wasn't it? I can't have a boyfriend, it isn't conducive to me, or to college. or to anything. And now, of course, he's not responding to anything that I say. I think I freaked the poor boy out, telling him he was like a fever-bright sunset (which he is) as opposed to a shatterkid or a ( Read more... )

I quite enjoyed kissing Kereith. He has amazingly soft lips. So, I was right. My suspicions have been confirmed and all that jazz.

I quite enjoy Tim. He's so very sweet. Well, both Tims are, really, but I haven't seen RA Tim in forever, whereas I just saw Tim Journeyman this morning. He's very pretty when he's high, but he's beautiful when he's ( Read more... )