Today was the anniversary of my father's passing. He left this world in 1980 and I've never felt as close to him since then as I do today. Hubz and I went to the cemetary. I brought new flowers for the first time in about 20 years and I sat and had a very long, very private conversation with my father, and then I shared a lot of very happy ( Read more... )

I guess I've been overdoing the caffeine lately. I'm trying to switch my sleep pattern from awake all night/sleep most of the day to whatever "normal" is. LOL I'm a lot closer but it's still a lot of hard work. Today, Hubz needed me up to drive him to an errand and then asked if I'd drive him to work. I agreed to it all, but my body just was ( Read more... )

I've been on such an important journey, understanding my life, and especially the abuse. It was not until the death of my mother that the depth of abuse came to the fore in my life and I honestly had no idea. I guess I thought that everyone's upbringing was the same as mine. Go figure ( Read more... )

Somewhere in my upbringing, someone taught me that if I wasn't "perfect", I wasn't good. That resulted in a lot of self-doubt, self-loathing and a very skewed view of who I was/am. It affected my friendships. It affected my work ethic. In the years that I was teaching book making and book design, my students loved me because of my eye to detail ( Read more... )

My surgeon's office never calls me after mammograms. Not sure why, but they just never have. My therapist called me the other night and asked how I was doing and how my mammogram had gone. I told her that I'd gone and done it (of course) and that everything went well. She asked if the results were good and I said that I don't know yet. She was ( Read more... )

Today was mammogram day. I had a bit of the jitters, but thanks to my therapist and my Hubz, I walked in breathing pretty normally, did what had to be done and walked out feeling very proud of myself and also feeling very well. "Well" as in "healed". *smile ( Read more... )

Well, I've spent the winter back in therapy. For depression. Seems that after my week in the hospital last November, I crashed big time. A very wonderful, very smart woman saw through my efforts to pretend I was on top of everything. Seems that most people around me don't realize when I'm faking it. I've learned to do it SO well. But someone ( Read more... )

Today I had the best medical appointment. It's been a few years since I've had news this good. My overall health is really, really good. I've heard bad news for so long that it just wasn't registering. My doctor was laughing and doing everything he could to inject joy back into me. It wasn't until about an hour later as I was driving home from ( Read more... )

Well, it's over. Yesterday was definitely a better day at the courthouse than today. Today was way too much sitting around. I did have my book with me, but there's only so much reading I can do ( Read more... )

I spent part of Sunday driving the route I would need to take today for jury duty. The directions they gave me were impeccable, so once that was finished, we decided to eat somewhere new. And we chose The Cheesecake Factory. We had the best waiter (gorgeous, funny, smart and helped us get through 250 menu items without too much trouble ( Read more... )