21521885 ( Read more... )

perfection!

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when you have mosquito bites all over your legs and then decide to shave said legs, it hurts like a mother fucker.

so, after spending the past 3 weeks in new york, i'm home ( Read more... )

people always say that the only person you can rely on is yourself ( Read more... )

mom enters the room. looks at jessie's desk to find  old pieces of raisin bread laying on top of a coffee mug.

mom (annoyed): jesus. what's with this bread here? can i take this away?
jessie laughs as mom picks up the half-eaten bread.
mom (laughing): i'll tell ya, you're an animal. you're the biggest animal i've ever seen ( Read more... )

Dear Jessica,

Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I ( Read more... )

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so i realized, while i was eating wendy's in the publix parking lot, that i have such a pathetic middle-aged life ( Read more... )

i like to look back at my entries ( Read more... )