There are people that I keep in my phone's contact list that I don't even like. I don't know why I keep them in there. Like exs and that one guy that said he would call but ya know he didn't. It's like pressing that delete button on my phone is a big deal. Which it is. I'm deleting them basically from my world, aka existence. I wouldn't be ( Read more... )

 I got a A on my statistics midterm! I am finally doing well in statistics. I wish I had taken Prof. Holmes the first time I took statistics. I'm pretty sure I would have been able to at least walk away from his class with a B. Which is a big difference from my crazed fight to hang onto a passing average in Bitzer's class. Such different teaching ( Read more... )

I was entirely productive today. Or at least the latter part of the day. I watched Juno again early this morning or I suppose it was lunch time, which is my Summer mornings. Babies don't get fingernails in the womb until the end of the third month. That seems really weird to me for some reason.

My sister needs me to listen to this audio tape of ( Read more... )

Omitting. I don't lie as much as I omit. I leave things out that don't fit the fantasy. And I think to myself that maybe once the fantasy becomes so beautiful and amazing, how could anyone ignore it even with my omissions laid out. I really don't want people to disappoint. I really want to allow my belief in them to be fulfilled and justified ( Read more... )

Life definitely works well at changing everything in my life so quickly. I feel like I'm constantly having to reevaulate everything in my life from the people that supposedly love me to the events I can't never seem to control. And I find myself sinking into that mindset, of just throwing my hands up and saying, "I can't take no more" But I have to ( Read more... )

A bubble bath; that is exactly what I need. A bubble bath and a good book. The simple things make everything seem untainted. The sloshing of warm water across my skin and the scent of flowers rising with the steam, these times are just mmm. That's right, I can't even find a word to sum them up, instead I use a sound;  "mmm" says everything. It ( Read more... )

Lately, things have been really out of whack for me. Somedays I wake up and jump in the shower at 6am ready for anything. Then other days I'm leaning against tile wallowing in my own self-pity. I hate those days. I just feel so randomly depressed. I feel like I'm running in place and everything I'm doing is just a repeat of whatever I did yesterday ( Read more... )

1.     My mother is actually being kind to me. I don't know how long this will last. And I'm not evening thinking about that. I'm just enjoying the love.

2.     I've been working out on a consistent basis. Muahaha. Do you actually think I would date a male model and not look like a model myself?? No really. I'm been sweating like Bin Laden lately. ( Read more... )

"I see some ladies tonight that should be having my babies ( Read more... )

hear.t

I keep waiting. Today I was shouting in my kitchen with my mother. And after our fight I went on a cleaning spree; sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, washing. Dev called and said he couldn't come by, he didn't have his car. I spent all my energy cleaning. And I thought when I was fighting with mom how many other daughters were doing the same thing ( Read more... )