Wow. I really thought it was obvious.
Guess it's easy to presume what other know when you think about it all the time.
I never meant to cause any trouble, nor any shock.

But you only live once, so fuck it.
I never say or do those things, so regardless of outcome, at least this once I can say that I did. I can go away knowing that I did and said everything I could, and if it doesn't work it just wasn't meant to.
I hate waiting though.

...

...bloody site.

Sometimes I'm daydreaming
staring out the window
I hear her crying
I see the tears fall down her face
Sometimes I'm sleeping
lost a hundred miles away
I feel her clinging
Tightly onto passers by
Oh I've been stupid before
I know I will be again
There's just too much out there
Too much to hold onto
There's far too much out there
More than I could ever control

( Read more... )

After 9 years I finally got to see Deftones again having missed them a couple of years back when I felt ill.
It was fucking amazing. I met up with a few people I know online and we went near the front, for the last 4 or 5 songs I went right up to the barrier. Of the three times I've seen them this was definitely the best, every song was performed ( Read more... )

I was reminded yesterday of the party back when I was 17, when I probably came closest to feeling hopeless about life. I don't ever feel that way anymore, but it was a stark reminder of how things can make you feel:

The Party

It was a friends 18th birthday party, they had hired a local venue, and got a DJ and food. At the time there was a girl I ( Read more... )

I'm not sure if it's a good thing that I haven't seen her much since she left. Perhaps it is, I'm still not sure how far I can trust myself to stay together around her. I already had to leave once when it got too much.

I can't believe I will be somewhere else when she is back for an evening in the pub though. I always miss her when she is about or ( Read more... )

Just finished watching Garden State again, it has a few flaws but ultimately I still think it's one of the best films ever. It hits so many different emotions without ever feeling like its forcing you to think one way or another. It perfectly captures elements of pain, joy, love and friendship in a way that I can't remember any other film doing.

( Read more... )

Somewhere there's a thousand words
Much better left unsaid
A scribbled mess of woven lines
Running from my head

I'm sat here waiting

Somehow managing to hold
the words that will make this worse
a shaken hand still scrawling down
too many lines of troubled verse

I'm sat here waiting
waiting and waiting

I will wait forever here
screaming in ( Read more... )