I started 2016 in a slouch on the sofa. I had been there for a couple of hours already; UnREAL, a modern soap opera about the cynicism and calculated ruthlessness behind the scenes of a "The Bachelorette"-esque reality television show. How meta: a show about the show behind a show. It wasn't particularly sublime, nor was it particularly bad. The ( Read more... )

The slowly-dawning realization that you will never amount to somebody as great as you had hoped, and that paths only narrow henceforth. Full glasses be damned; time is seeping as life ebbs away.

I need new words to live by.

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I want to find and burrow in a Faraway Tree.

It is already more than halfway through the year. I have barely written anything; the days have only been filled with doing. Of late, it has been training five times a week, feet coated with calluses and an unshakeable smell of sweat and gritted effort, floorball too, wild and carefree and hearty laughs, and work. Always work for the most part of ( Read more... )

Already, it is the first of March, well into the blueberry thicket of 2015. The past two months have been packed with places to go and people to meet, which has been both comforting and worrying. Being busy has kept me from bleeding out at work, and always cognizant that life is Out-There, but worrying!, because it is always a groan on Mondays, and ( Read more... )

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and i imagine this playing, we are dancing on poppy breeze and cruising along the highway, and the sunlight is dappled, like a strobe light that pulsates in and out of focus, "until you came to me", "until it came to be", and the hypnotic gyrations of a gaze caught between two people, both whom would rather tear up than turn away, the canter of a ( Read more... )

Every day, I skip off into the dawdling sunshine, waning but holding its shimmer as the hour stretches till the very last moment. It comes easily when dusk leaves a tenuous grasp: the desire to make magick, be magic, to will oneself to be transported to when one knows to be a happier, freer time. And then, it dissipates into the swell of midnight ( Read more... )

It is the littlest things that come together to make a brilliant visual reel of the day. Window panes thick with rain, buildings shrouded from view, and curiously removed from the hullabaloo on carpet. Trudging through the slick streets, peeping up from below the umbrella to see grey skies washed clear. Swashing hair with a colleague who came to ( Read more... )

It seems as if I had been slumbering for a long time and have recently awoken to discover that sunshine feels like this, and fingers, when stretched, feels like that, and the world, much smaller, blearier. It is not a bad thing though. The ceaseless stream of saffron from street lamps whipping past on a cool, crisp night. Things are manageable. ( Read more... )

“It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person ( Read more... )

She was a small woman with an anxious air. The shine in her eyes dulled as worry sunk in between the grooves of her well-worn face. She hovered nearby and wrung her hands together, then unclasped to pull at the sides of her pants and placed them back together again. Words streamed from her lips softly like bubbles in a language that I could not ( Read more... )