was i supposed to laugh? because i did. that poor girl!
last month a guy who was visiting one of my upstairs neighbors banged on my door because he was choking on what i later discovered was a fish oil pill - he was supposed to take two and choked on the first one, so he had this GIANT horse pill in his hand - and because he couldn't talk, he couldn't call 911. so i called them for him. and then he managed to swallow the thing after all. and an ambulance came anyway. exciting but not nearly as exciting as if he'd swallowed a fork!
I like how quickly she transitioned into "Fork Girl." I also admire her ability to retell a story about how she got a fork in her throat while said fork is in her throat. I could read more stories from the perspective of this narrator, who goes on to thinking about closing in the next twenty minutes in the same sentence as a possible life-changing crisis is resolving. It's a good kind of callous disregard for circumstances.
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last month a guy who was visiting one of my upstairs neighbors banged on my door because he was choking on what i later discovered was a fish oil pill - he was supposed to take two and choked on the first one, so he had this GIANT horse pill in his hand - and because he couldn't talk, he couldn't call 911. so i called them for him. and then he managed to swallow the thing after all. and an ambulance came anyway. exciting but not nearly as exciting as if he'd swallowed a fork!
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Hey! I still remember pretty vividly when that shit was state-of-the-freakin'-art! Don't make me feel old!
“I swallowed it.”
Wait. What?
The dialogue, in particular, literally cracked me up. This piece was funny, weird, a little scary, and utterly perfect.
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I would have forgotten to ask for the girl's name, too.
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