i feel flustered and weepy. it might be cause i'm tired, but also i feel like i'll never fit in in this world. i'll never be part of a group. i went to the bar with becca and mindy to do some dancing and i put on my heeled boots and nice pants and girly shirt and they were just in jeans and a tee shirt, which didn't help the out of place feeling i ( Read more... )

i'm feeling sad. i know i should go to bed, but the idea of waking up and starting another day is horrifying. idk whats wrong with me. i feel so angry and alone. but i have friends again, girls strangely enough, and chloe has started sleeping through the night and we're not really having money issues, so why do i feel like this? i don't want to ( Read more... )

well, staying up alone again. i really need to right my sleep schedule. ugh, i am SOOO not looking forward to tomorrow, laura (ryans second baby mama) is going to come over with the kids. and the stupid bitch STILL wont give me ryans address ( Read more... )

another sleepless night. i feel like i'm losing my mind. i wonder if it has anything to do with hormones. but i can't sleep, i can't get past this one part on my video game and i can't have sex with my hubby cause hes dead tired. i guess he would be since i kept him up til 2am the last two night with our sexual interactions. i can't help it tho, i' ( Read more... )

i'm irritated. which should be obvious since i'm using my LJ. i'm just tired and stressed. the boys are bored so they're being butts, which fries me and makes me not want to hang out with them but they're bored because i'm not hanging out with them. even rick was in a bad mood today. (side note: i've been using my phone so much that typing on a ( Read more... )

Its WAY past bedtime and for some reason rick is still up and doing stuff which leaves me here unable to sleep and left to just my thoughts never good. Honey come to bed please.

so aiden has started his terrible 2s and today he woke up just screaming his head off and throwing a fit. its not the first time hes woken with a tantrum. but the other day the boy were playing in the play room and aiden takes the swing gate and slams it down on prestons hand and then grabs prestons now hurt finger and starts twisting it back! with ( Read more... )

aiden is really sick. he has running poo and hes vomiting and hes been like this for a week already. the doctors say theres nothing we can do we just have to let it run its course. but today he wouldnt eat or drink, he just cried all morning. idk what to do. i'm sick too. i can't breathe and i'm light headed from not enough air and from blowing my ( Read more... )

long time no see ( Read more... )

i was so very looking forword to it being just us when we got back from san diego. i had plans for what i wanted to do with the rooms, with all the crap that we have. but no, rick went and made a choice without me and now i have to deal with it ( Read more... )