Not-so-secret agent Khan
"I can't believe I thought this was a good idea," thought mib_khan to himself. Although the Federation had been happy to give a planet to the millions of Khans that had been on Vulcan, the Federation was adamant that they could earn their own way. "You Khan't expect a free ride," one political pundit had stated. So, the Khans made do with what they could, and when they needed hard currency (or other specie), they sent some of their number out to earn a wage.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." continued the Khan to himself. It could have been worse, he supposed...it was theoretically possible he could have been sold to a Ferengi for immoral porpoises, or perhaps been sent to law school. Still, this was the stupidest "undercover" assignment he'd ever heard of...and as a former crew of the uss_murgatroid, Khan knew stupid when he saw it.
"You'll be at the head of the line soon, so you'll need to stop talking to us in a minute or two." The Federation Security officer's voice came through clearly via a communicator implant. FedSec was concerned about this planet, but apparently not concerned enough to do anything effective. Khan knew their efforts were not first rate, because they'd involved him. He wasn't impressed with his controller's skills, and was convinced that this mission would end poorly. He was almost convinced the guy had a bet to make the mission fail.
Khan subvocalized, "So, let me see if I've got this straight. This guy...'wet dirt'...he's president of this planet, and you want to overthrow him?"
"His name is Mudd," replied Khan's khantroller. "He comes from a long-line of flimflam artists. We're pretty sure he rigged the election. We doubt he would have won if it wasn't for the Maquis terrorism." The planet in question was on the Federation/Cardassian border, and had suffered moderately during the recent war. Mudd had gotten himself elected under the banner of "Peace or Else!" It hadn't hurt that he'd brought his own army along, even though (as mercenaries went) they were remarkably stupid.
The controller continued. "When you get to the front of the line, give your ID card to the border guard."
"My alias says I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets!" Khan's subvocalizations were so loud, the being in front of him in line glanced back to see if Khan was okay. Khan's frustrations would have been obvious to most...the ID card (though electronic, and thus easily capable of displaying just about anything) had a picture of Picard, and someone had taken a marker and scribbled a beard, moustache, and bushy brown hair on the card with a marker. The ink smudged when touched.
"He won't speak English, anyway." Khan's controller's reply had tones of humor. "This world is full of stupid people. If you get through the line..."
"When I get through the line!" Khan cut off the FedSec officer. "When!"
"...we'll meet you at the mission at midnight. We'll beam you up there." Khan was not reassured. The man in front of him stepped away, leaving Khan as the next person for the border guard to inspect. Khan's universal translator made some indeterminate noises in response to the grunting of the simianlike card, then mumbled "ID?" in his ear. Khan handed over the doctored ID card to the guard.
The guard looked at the card, looked at Khan, looked at the card and squinted, then looked at Khan again. He handed the card back to Khan and said, "Have a good day, sir." Khan blinked, then walked on. Perhaps his day had a chance to improve.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." continued the Khan to himself. It could have been worse, he supposed...it was theoretically possible he could have been sold to a Ferengi for immoral porpoises, or perhaps been sent to law school. Still, this was the stupidest "undercover" assignment he'd ever heard of...and as a former crew of the uss_murgatroid, Khan knew stupid when he saw it.
"You'll be at the head of the line soon, so you'll need to stop talking to us in a minute or two." The Federation Security officer's voice came through clearly via a communicator implant. FedSec was concerned about this planet, but apparently not concerned enough to do anything effective. Khan knew their efforts were not first rate, because they'd involved him. He wasn't impressed with his controller's skills, and was convinced that this mission would end poorly. He was almost convinced the guy had a bet to make the mission fail.
Khan subvocalized, "So, let me see if I've got this straight. This guy...'wet dirt'...he's president of this planet, and you want to overthrow him?"
"His name is Mudd," replied Khan's khantroller. "He comes from a long-line of flimflam artists. We're pretty sure he rigged the election. We doubt he would have won if it wasn't for the Maquis terrorism." The planet in question was on the Federation/Cardassian border, and had suffered moderately during the recent war. Mudd had gotten himself elected under the banner of "Peace or Else!" It hadn't hurt that he'd brought his own army along, even though (as mercenaries went) they were remarkably stupid.
The controller continued. "When you get to the front of the line, give your ID card to the border guard."
"My alias says I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets!" Khan's subvocalizations were so loud, the being in front of him in line glanced back to see if Khan was okay. Khan's frustrations would have been obvious to most...the ID card (though electronic, and thus easily capable of displaying just about anything) had a picture of Picard, and someone had taken a marker and scribbled a beard, moustache, and bushy brown hair on the card with a marker. The ink smudged when touched.
"He won't speak English, anyway." Khan's controller's reply had tones of humor. "This world is full of stupid people. If you get through the line..."
"When I get through the line!" Khan cut off the FedSec officer. "When!"
"...we'll meet you at the mission at midnight. We'll beam you up there." Khan was not reassured. The man in front of him stepped away, leaving Khan as the next person for the border guard to inspect. Khan's universal translator made some indeterminate noises in response to the grunting of the simianlike card, then mumbled "ID?" in his ear. Khan handed over the doctored ID card to the guard.
The guard looked at the card, looked at Khan, looked at the card and squinted, then looked at Khan again. He handed the card back to Khan and said, "Have a good day, sir." Khan blinked, then walked on. Perhaps his day had a chance to improve.